


Friend

by Natural_Selexion



Category: Columbine - Fandom, Eric Harris - Fandom
Genre: Columbine, Eric Harris - Freeform, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:15:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 68,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27421045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natural_Selexion/pseuds/Natural_Selexion
Relationships: Eric Harris - Relationship, Reader - Relationship
Comments: 23
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

When I got the news from my parents that I would be going to live with my older sister in Colorado for the whole summer, I was not in the smallest bit excited.  
I would be going to help out with my infant niece while my sister and her husband worked. For a 15 year old that seemed like the worst thing in the world to do during summer break.  
I slowly packed my bag with my mom sitting on the edge of my bed trying to pump me up.  
“There are so many more things to do there than there are here Y/n” she informed me, trying to for excitement.  
“Well that would be great if I wouldn’t be doing it all alone” I responded.  
“Maybe you will make a friend or two. You don’t know what could happen in 3 months. Plus it will do you some good to get away from these so called friends that you have here. Hurry up and get everything packed. We need to leave for the airport” she said before leaving me alone in my room.  
So called friends. My parents haven’t been shy at all about the fact that they hate my friend group. They hate the music that I listen to. The way I dress. Hell, I guess you could say they haven’t liked me in general since I started high school.  
My thoughts were interrupted when my dad yelled at me from the living room.  
“Y/n! let’s go!” 

On the 2 hour drive to the airport the conversation went back and forth between my mom trying to get me excited and my dad letting me know that I needed to be on my best behavior and blah blah blah. I tuned them out and eventually put my headphones in and cranked up Whatever by Godsmack. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. 3 months away from my parents and their never ending speeches and judgments. I smiled to myself at the thought.

I boarded the plane alone and found my seat without any issues. The flight would take almost 3 hours so right after take off I laid my head back and closed my eyes and fell asleep.  
As soon as I was off the plane I found my sister, Katie, waiting for me at my gate. She smiled and wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug and all I could think about was how fake it seemed. We had never been the closest growing up with our age difference and all. 8 years is a lot when it comes to siblings. When I was playing with barbie dolls she was sneaking boys in her window at night.

The drive to her apartment took 40 minutes and I was relieved when she let me listen to my own music. I turned it up just loud enough to where we didn’t have to talk and watched all the new scenery pass by the window.  
Katie didn’t start her job for another week so the first few days were spent with me getting used to the apartment and her showing me around Denver. She took me to one of the three malls and tried her best to get me to pick out more “girlie” outfits. I looked down at my black jnco’s and my I have issues shirt and shrugged my shoulders at her. It ain’t me.  
While we ate dinner in the food court she told me about a music store that she knew I was going to love. My interest was sparked instantly.  
“Dude take me there now!” I said, not even hiding my excitement.  
“I was thinking that maybe I could drop you off there tomorrow for a while. I don’t really care anything about it and the baby will drive me crazy the whole time” she said while shaking her head and motioning at my 5 month old niece, Madison, who was happily kicking her legs in the stroller while chewing on a toy.  
“Deal!” I agreed happily.

That evening I signed online to check in with friends back home and then curled up on the couch aka my bed for the next 3 months. Luckily, I can sleep just about any damn where.  
I woke up the next morning to the sound of Madison screaming her head off and my sister dashing around trying to make a bottle with the kid on her hip. I rolled off the couch and took the baby from her and ended up feeding her the bottle while my sister took her first hot and interrupted shower in months. When she got out she was so grateful that she gave me a $20 for the day before taking the baby and letting me get ready. Which consisted of throwing my hair into a bun and putting on the same damn clothes from the day before.  
“You would be so cute if you put in even the smallest amount of effort” Katie said as I tied the strings on my Vans.  
“Then it’s a good thing that I don’t give a shit about being cute” I replied while rolling my eyes dramatically.

We pulled up to the huge Independent Records under an hour later. I told her I would call from the pay phone out front when I was ready to leave and then I practically ran inside the building.  
I stood in place for a few minutes just taking it all in. Our music stores back home didn’t have shit on this. I made my way over the one of the many rows of CD’s and grabbed the headphones off of the shelf. The first CD I saw was the new Korn album that I had been dying to get my hands on. I stood in the same spot for over an hour listening to it and not paying the smallest bit of attention to anything else around me. When I finally took the headphones off and looked around I noticed how packed the store was now. There had been a table set up close to the front door and there was a band sitting at it signing autographs and taking pictures with people. I moved a little closer to get a better look and the dudes looked like they had just crawled out of a dumpster. I noticed that a lot of the people waiting in line had on the bands shirts and I got a peek of who they were. Cradle of Filth. I had heard of them before from a few of my friends back home but they weren’t for me at all. I turned back around to head to my spot from earlier and ran right into someone.  
“Oh shit, my bad” I let out as I took a step back and came eye to eye with the boy.  
He had reached his hands out and had one on each of my shoulders in a attempt to keep me from falling when we collided and as I watched the smile form on his lips I felt my stomach start to flop around. He was fucking cute.  
“It’s okay” he said as he smiled at me and I took a step back to get his hands off of me before my intestines clawed their way through my skin.  
“You gonna get in line?” he asked as he motioned with his hand towards the table with the band.  
“Nah I’m not a fan” I said as I crossed my arms in front of me, going into my nervous stance.  
“Yeah me either. Is that CD any good?” he asked and I squinted my eyebrows at him in confusion.  
“That new Korn CD” he added, still smiling at me.  
“Oh, yeah it’s bad ass. I’m for sure buying it before I leave” I replied.  
“That’s cool. By the way, I’m Eric” he said and turned averting his eyes to the side and I couldn’t help but notice that my nervousness may have been transferring to him.  
“I’m Y/n” I said back. After several seconds of silence, I walked around him and headed back to the headphones.  
As I listened to another CD I let my eyes wander around and they kept landing right on him. He seemed to be lurking around me and at one point I started to laugh at how weird it was making me feel.  
After a while I decided to grab the Korn CD and go pay for it and call my sister to come get me. The store was getting more crowded by the minute and I was not a fan of being in a crowd of people when I didn’t know a single soul.  
After I paid and made my way through the crowd and out the front door I stopped for a second and took a deep breath.  
“It must have been good if you bought it. I wanted to check it out but this chick wouldn’t get out of the way” I knew who it was before I ever turned around.  
“Sorry about that” I replied not knowing if he was really mad or just joking.  
“You can make it up to me” he said with that same smile from earlier and I couldn’t quite pinpoint if that was the reason my stomach had started to flop again or not.  
“By?” I asked hesitantly.  
“You can come sit in my car with me and let me listen to it” he said with more confidence than he had showed earlier.  
“My mom taught me not to get in the car with strangers. Sorry” I replied jokingly. I couldn’t decide if he was flirting with me or just really wanted to hear the CD but either way I shrugged my shoulders and handed him the CD.  
“Oh wow. That actually worked” he said with a laugh before he started walking around the side of the building with me close behind him.  
He unlocked the door to a grey car and got in before leaning over and unlocking the passenger door for me.  
I got in but left the door open. I’m not that dumb.  
He turned the key and put the CD in and we sat with no sounds other than the music for the first 3 songs.  
“You were right. It’s good. You have a good taste in music for a chick” he said making me laugh.  
“Thanks I guess” I replied as I let myself relax a little.  
“So where is that accent from. It’s for sure not here” He said as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music.  
“The south” I replied.  
“So like Texas?” he asked as he looks over at me.  
“Texas isn’t the only place where people say y’all and shit” I said with a laugh.  
“So what brings you to Colorado Y/n?” he asked after reaching and turning the music down.  
“A baby” I said and watched the look on his face change drastically.  
“Not my baby. My niece” I said now laughing loudly.  
“God that would have been just my luck” he said now smiling widely.  
“I’m 15 dude” I said while shaking my head.  
“15 year olds can have babies” he said now laughing with me.  
“No thank you. I’m here until August to keep my niece while my sister and her husband work during the day” I say giving him more details.  
“Well that’s cool” he responds.  
“Yep. Getting ripped away from my friends and shipped off to a place where I don’t know anybody is super cool” I reply with a blank expression.  
“You know me now” he says back as he looks over at me.  
“I don’t know you just because we had a conversation and listened to music together” I said back.  
“Well damn okay. I didn’t want to be your friend anyways” he said trying to look distressed.  
“Friend huh? Okay Eric. Let’s be friends. You can start by giving me a ride home” I reply and finally close the car door.  
“I can do that. Where to?” he asked as the smile came right back onto his face.  
I filled him in the best I could on where the apartments were and he started to shake his head.  
“Eh I can’t do that after all. That’s the opposite direction than where I’m going. I live about 30 minutes from here” he said sersiously.  
“Oh, I guess I’m going to call my sister then” I reply and reach for the door handle.  
“Oh god Y/n I’m joking” he says while laughing loudly.  
“I know exactly where you are talking about. Close the door” he said while trying to regain his composure.

On the drive to my sisters we ended up talking about our parents and siblings. He has one brother, I have one sister. We talked about the bands we both like and compared our schools. He is a year ahead of me.  
By the time we pulled into the parking lot of the apartments I had decided that we really could be friends. I smiled at the thought of having someone to hang out with after all.  
He took my CD out and carefully put it back in it’s case and handed it to me. When I tried to take it from him, he pulled it back playfully.  
“You can’t have it until you tell me how to contact you” he said with a nervous smile.  
“Got a pen?” I asked as I jerked my CD away from him.  
I wrote down my AIM name before opening the door.  
“Thanks for the ride friend” I said with a smile before getting out of his car.  
“No problem. Friend” he said back with a goofy look. I watched him pull away before walking up the stairs and heading into the apartment.

I filled Katie in on how I got home and after a bit of concern she was happy that I had met someone so fast.  
After dinner I signed online and immediately got a message.

REBDOOMER: Hi friend(:  
Y/n: Is that our thing now?  
REBDOOMER: for sure  
REBDOOMER: hey what are you doing tomorrow?  
Y/n: no plans. Why?  
REBDOOMER: Wanna hang out?  
Y/n: and do what?  
REBDOOMER: whatever. We can go to the mall. Or you can come to my house.  
Y/n: or you can come to my house.  
REBDOOMER: or that I guess(:  
Y/n: then yes.

We made plans for him to come over the next day and continued to talk for a while. After I signed off I let my head fall back onto the computer chair.  
“What’s wrong?” Katie asked from the couch.  
“So tell me again how to make some effort to be cute” I responded and she let out a squeal before pulling me into her bedroom where we played dress up for the next 2 hours.


	2. Uh, Friend?

“I am not wearing that” I say forcefully to Katie as she tries to push the sun dress covered in flowers my way.  
“You wanted my help Y/n. This one looked so cute on you!” she says back in a high pitched voice.  
“No” is all I say as I close the bathroom door in her face and start to get myself dressed. I decided on a pair of boot cut jeans and a plain black form fitting shirt. This is already a bit out of my comfort zone. I much prefer my loose band t-shirts but hey, I’m trying to get the boys attention here.  
I walked out of the bathroom after smoothing down my hair and throwing some eyeliner on.  
“Well, I guess that’s better than normal” Katie says as she looks me over with judgy eyes.  
“Thanks for that sis” I said sarcastically as I made my way over to the couch to put my shoes on.  
“So what are you guys gonna do?” she asked while standing in front of me with the baby on her hip.  
“I don’t know. Walk around or something I guess” I replied as I finished tying my shoes and just as I was standing up he knocked on the door.  
“Oh fuck me” I breathed out causing Katie to laugh out.  
“This is so cute” she said as she followed behind me to the door.  
I opened it up to see Eric standing there with his sunglasses on. He smiled at me and pulled them off before turning his attention to my sister.  
“Hi, I’m Eric” he said and stuck his hand out to shake hers.  
“Nice to meet you Eric. I’m Katie. You guys have fun and be careful” she said while giving me a mischievous smile.  
“Oh god” I groaned out as I walked out the door and closed it behind me.  
“So, what are we gonna do today friend?” Eric asked as we made our way down the stairs.  
“There’s a park over there that we could go hang out at. I took Madison over the other day and we were the only ones there” I replied as he made way up to walk next to me.  
“You don’t want to be seen with me?” he asked with his hand on his chest faking shock.  
“That’s not what I meant” I say back, stumbling over my words and causing him to laugh.  
“I know Y/n. You are so jumpy” he replied as I looked over at him and made eye contact. I instantly turned away. I don’t understand why I react this way around him. All of my friends back home are guys. I barely get along with any females. But he for sure makes me jumpy.  
“I will try to work on that” I say back and try to force my smile away.

We made our way over to the park and just like I had said, we were the only ones there. I sat down in one of the swings and he took the one next to me. Just as I was starting to feel weird about the silence he started to talk. He filled me in on how he had moved so many times due to is dad being in the military. I filled him in on how my parents liked to move to but only far enough away to where I had to change schools constantly. I was on my 6th one now. We both decided that it sucked pretty bad but was also cool that we had that in common as well as the many other things that we came to find out about each other.  
“So you are one of the guys back home huh? I could see that” he said and got out of his swing to move behind mine. He started pushing me and I couldn’t help but to laugh at the cuteness of it.  
“I guess you could say that. All my friends are guys. Less drama” I answered.  
“So any of those guys your boyfriend?” he asked and if I had thought about it at that moment then I would have known that he was flirting but instead my reaction was completely different.  
“Pshh oh god no” I laughed out at the thought of dating one of the idiots in my circle.  
He didn’t say anything else for a few minutes as he continued to push me on the swing.  
After the park got old we made our way back to his car and I took my spot in the passenger seat as he flipped through his CD case trying to find something for us to listen to.  
With the music in the background, we spent another 2 hours getting to know each other better and I smiled over at him as I thought to myself that I really liked this guy. I had never even thought about the whole dating thing but now as I watched him drum his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the song, it became obvious that I may really fall for him. And that scared the shit out of me.

Eventually he turned the music down and looked over at me.  
“I’m gonna have to head out. My parents want me home for dinner and if I’m late again they are gonna take my keys” he said.  
“Well that sucks” I let out without thinking and I watched the smile form on his lips.  
“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked and the way he was looking at me made me nervous as hell.  
“First day of babysitting duty. I’ll be with Maddie until tomorrow evening sometime” I replied and wished like hell that wasn’t the case.  
“Actually that’s where I will be until Saturday” I added and felt the disappointment in the air.  
“Well, we should make plans for Saturday then” he said and the second it left his lips I already couldn’t wait for Saturday.

The evening was spent with Katie making sure I knew the babies schedule by heart and how to make a bottle and all the necessary things to calm her nerves about leaving the baby for the first time.  
When everything had finally calmed down, I laid on the couch and couldn’t make myself fall asleep. All I could do was relive the last 2 days over and over in my head. I pictured the way he smiled at me, his laugh. I finally drifted off with a smile and my face.  
I was awoken at the ass crack of dawn the Katie calling for me to get up and get awake before she had to leave. After she kissed Madison a million times she finally left and I was stuck sitting on the couch while the tiny child rolled around on a blanket in the floor. After lunch I put her down for her nap as instructed to do and then I decided to get on the computer. With the baby monitor on the desk on front of me I signed on and found his name and clicked on it without another thought.  
Y/n: Hi friend  
REBDOOMER: hey(:  
Y/n: The baby is asleep. What are u up 2?  
REBDOOMER: not a thing. Having fun?  
Y/n: tons. Is it Saturday yet?  
REBDOOMER: I was wondering the same thing(:

We continued the back and forth for a while before I heard Madison stirring and let him know I had to go.

That evening I sat and talked to Katie for a while and she guessed that I was crushing big time and of course made a huge deal out of it. After a minute of what looked like intense thinking on her part she leaned in so that my brother in law wouldn’t hear her and whispered.  
“Ya know, I wouldn’t really mind if he came and hung out during the day. As long as you make sure Maddie is okay and you guys don’t do anything dumb”  
My heart started pumping so hard that I could hear it in my ears.  
Without even thinking I jumped up and ran to the computer and clicked on his name.  
Y/n: CALL ME ASAP.  
I sent the number and grabbed the phone and darted into the bathroom. It only took a few seconds for the phone to ring and I laughed at the professional voice that came through the other end.  
“Yes can I please speak to Y/n” he said and I burst out in laughter.  
“Is that your respectable voice?” I asked.  
“Don’t make fun of me. Friends don’t do that” he said and I could hear the smile coming through.  
“You want to come over tomorrow?” I blarred out before he could say anything else.  
“Aren’t you working?” he asked, with the same smiley voice.  
“Yes I am. But Katie is the one who mentioned it so it’s totally cool” I said trying not to sound overly excited.  
“Huh. Hanging out with you and a baby all day?” he asked trying to pull a disgusted voice.  
“Well nevermind then. I didn’t really want you here anyways” I replied trying to sound serious.  
“Oh in that case. I’ll see you around lunch?” he said back.  
“See you then friend” I answered before hanging up. Giddy as a child walking into chuck e cheese.

The next day I got up and did the routine of keeping the tiny child alive while also making myself halfway presentable. I cleaned up the living room and right after I laid the baby down for her nap he knocked on the door.  
“Hey, I was coming to see if you wanted to play house with me today” he said as soon as I opened the door.  
“As long as I can be one of the kids then sure” I said with a smile.  
“So you’ll be calling me dad all day?” he asked and as soon as the words left his mouth we both turned bright ass red.  
“Oh shit. I did not mean to say that out loud” he said as he looked down at the ground and put his hands in his pockets.  
“Can we pretend that didn’t happen?” he asked without looking at me.  
“Please” I replied as my skin felt like it would burst into flames any second.  
We made our way into the living room and sat down on the couch together and after several minutes of awkward silence he let out a laugh.  
“How do I come back from that?” he asked while shaking his head and I could feel the embarrassment coming off of him.  
“I swear it’s okay. But I won’t be calling you dad fyi” I said hoping to ease up the weirdness.  
“I’m gonna stop speaking before I make this worse” he replied and covered his face with his hands making me laugh.  
“Just stop being weird” I said.  
“Coming from you that means I must be acting really fucking weird” he said as he looked over at me with a serious face and we both laughed together.  
We finally managed to move away from that subject and fall back into our effortless conversations. After a while I couldn’t help but look over at him and let my eyes study his face. His movements. And I could feel the electricity radiating off of me. I couldn’t pull my eyes away from him and at this point I didn’t even care about trying to.  
“What are you looking at?” he finally asked as he smiled back at me.  
“I think I really like you Eric” I forced out.  
“Oh yeah? That’s a relief. Because I think I really like you to” he replied and it felt like my cheeks were going to shatter from the force behind my smile.  
We sat looking at each other for several seconds before my body started to move on it’s own and I leaned toward him. He sat still like he was trying to figure out if I was doing what he thought I was before he slowly leaned in to me to and our lips met in the middle. It was a quick peck on the lips but it felt a whole lot different than the last time this happened to me while hiding in the jungle gym in 5th grade.  
When we pulled apart we both sat studying each others reactions and before I knew what was happening his lips were back on mine. He pressed into me firmly this time making sure the contact was deep and I let my lips fall opened slightly as his tongue came out and grazed my bottom lip. I felt myself start to panic because I had no clue what to do from here. He pushed further and let his tongue come into my mouth and once a rhythm was set I felt my body start to relax as I gave into the new feeling.  
When we both heard the noise coming from the baby monitor we tore away from each other like we had just been caught doing something illegal and I heard him laughing as I made my way to the babies room. I closed the door behind me and let out a long breath with my back against the door before I picked the baby up and went back out into the living room. This time as I made my way towards him it felt like I was in a tunnel. My hear started to race and my vision got blurry.  
We ended up both in the floor across from each other with Madison on a blanket between us as we went right back to how we were before the kiss took place.  
After a while he let me know that he needed to get home for dinner once again and I walked him to the door.  
“So, are we good?” he asked with caution before he walked out the door.  
Without a verbal response I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to me and pressed my lips to his again.  
“I’m gonna say that means that we are good” he said with a smile once I pulled away from him.  
“I’ll see you later friend” I said as he stepped out of the doorway.  
“Does that title really apply to us still though?” he said over his shoulder before disappearing down the stairs, leaving me in a giant puddle and with a smile on my face that nothing could wipe off.


	3. So Unfair

By the time Saturday had rolled around I found myself not able to concentrate on a single thing. I moved through my actions in auto pilot as my mind stayed stuck on that kiss and the words he had spoken right before he left.  
How could we be anything more than friends when in a few weeks I would be headed back home to start my Sophomore year of high school and he would still be here doing whatever it is that he does in his Junior year.  
The only thing that I knew for certain was that I didn’t want to waste a single minute that I had with him. 

I watched out the window as my sister carried on a one sided conversation. When I saw him pulling in I jumped up and ran out the door and down the stairs without a single goodbye. She knew Who I was with and when I would be back. That’s all that needed to be said in my opinion.  
I jogged over to his car before he could ever get out and hopped into the passenger seat.  
“Well hey” he said as he smiled over at me widely.  
“Hey” I said back smiling just as big. I refused to let anything be awkward between us. I also knew that I wouldn’t be making any moves on my own. If nothing else happened between us then fine. I enjoy his company either way. But as I watched him back out of the parking lot and turn onto the main road I felt my hand come up and my fingers run across my lips. Remembering the way his felt on mine.  
We had already decided to go to the movies and I told him that he could pick the movie. I could care less about what we were watching. As long as I was with him.  
We pulled up at the theater shortly and walked in side by side. When we got to the ticket counter he pulled out his wallet and paid for both of us without hesitation.  
“I could have gotten my own” I said as we walked over to the concession stand.  
“I’m not taking you on a date and letting you pay for anything. Are you crazy?” he said with a laugh.  
After we had a huge bucket of popcorn and our separate drinks we made our way down the long hallway and into the theater.  
“I hope this movie doesn’t suck. I haven’t really heard much about it” he said once we took our seats in the very top row of the theater.  
“This is the one with Will Smith right?” I ask as I made myself comfortable in the seat and reached over for a handful of popcorn.  
“Yeah it is” he replied and moved the bucket closer to me so I didn’t have to keep reaching in his lap I presumed.  
Once the movie started we fell silent. Halfway through he told me he would be right back and several minutes later he showed up with two big boxes of m&m’s. One with peanuts and one without.  
“I didn’t know which ones you would want so I got both” he whispered as I smiled over at him. I took the ones with peanuts and we went back to silently watching the movie. I noticed he had started fidgeting a lot and I could feel him looking at me but everytime I turned his way he looked away. It started to crack me up and I tried to hide my smile but failed.  
“What are you smiling about?” he whispered over at me and I shrugged my shoulders. Without another word he reached over and took my hand in his and laced our fingers together as he leaned closer beside me. It hit me that he had probably been wanting to do that for a while but didn’t know how I would react. That’s why he was fidgety.  
I squeezed his hand lightly and he returned the gesture. We stayed that way for the rest of the movie and even as we made our way out of the building, only letting go once we made it to his car.  
Since we went to the early showing of the movie, we still had plenty of time to hang out before either of us had to be home.  
“So where to now?” he asked as he turned the key and cranked his car.  
“I guess that’s on you since I know nothing about this area” I replied.  
“We could always go to my house. I’ve been to yours. You can come to mine” he replied looking over at me for an answer.  
“I’m fine with whatever you want to do. I just want to hang out with you” I said back causing my own cheeks to burn.  
“I like that answer” he responded and headed in the direction of his house.  
“My dad won’t be home today but my mom and my brother are there” he let me know once we turned onto the street.  
As we pulled into the driveway I could see a woman bent down beside a flower bed out front. When she heard us she turned and looked our way and smiled sweetly before standing up and walking our way.  
“Hey mom” Eric said as he wrapped his arms around his mother.  
“What are you doing here so early? You must be Y/n” she said as she turned her attention to me and pulled off her gardening glove to shake my hand.  
“Yes I am” I said back as I stuck my own hand out her way.  
“The movie ended and we ran out of things to do. I thought I could show her my room and stuff” Eric said with a cautious look on his face.  
“I would prefer if you hung out in the family room” she said before turning and going back to her flowers.  
“Okay” he called out as he reached down and grabbed my hand and lead me into the house.  
My first reaction was how huge the place was. It made my house back home seem tiny.  
He walked into the kitchen and grabbed us each a canned coca cola and then lead the way down a set of stairs.  
“Where are we going?” I asked as he took the stairs 2 at a time.  
“This is my part of the house” he said when he reached the bottom of the stairs and walked out into another family room.  
“Good lord. All I have is a bedroom and bathroom back home” I said as I looked around the room.  
“Yeah I like having my own space” he replied as he made his way over to the big couch in the middle of the room and sat down before he patted the spot next to him.  
I made my way over and sat down and as soon as I did I heard someone bounding down the stairs we had just came from.  
“Hey man, You wanna throw the ball?” the guy said before his eyes got big and he stopped talking.  
“My bad. I didn’t know you had company” he said with a smile as he walked around to stand in front of the couch.  
“Y/n, this is my brother Kevin” Eric said a little uncomfortably.  
“Hey” I said as I gave him a wave.  
“What are you guys up to?” he asked as he made himself comfortable in one of the chairs near us.  
“Just hanging out” Eric responded as he made a weird face at his brother.  
“Alright then I guess I’ll leave you to it” Kevin said before he made his exit back up the stairs.  
“He seems nice” I said once he was gone.  
“He is. A little too nice” he responded as he picked at his hand.  
“You guys don’t get along?”  
“No it’s not that at all. I just feel like I’ll never be able to live up to all the shit he has done and is still doing” he responded after thinking about it for a second.  
“Why would you need to?” I asked as I reached over and pulled the hand he was picking at into mine.  
He smiled at me in response before jumping up and going into another room. He came back with a huge CD case and handed it to me. I flipped through it and pointed out all the ones that I had to and after a while that lead to deeper conversations.  
I didn’t even realize that hours had passed when his mom came down the stairs to ask if I was staying for dinner. Eric looked at me waiting for my answer and I nodded my head.  
“If that’s okay” I responded.  
“Of course it is” she said with a smile before heading back up the stairs.  
The room went silent and I could tell that something was on Eric’s mind.  
“What are you thinking about?” I asked breaking the silence.  
“You” he responded and let his eyes come up to meet mine.  
“What about me?” I asked with red cheeks.  
“How it’s pretty unfair that I met someone like you and you are going to leave me in a few weeks” he blurted out.  
“I don’t want to think about that” I responded as I looked away from him.  
“I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel like it was meant for us to meet. I don’t want to lose you” he said and reached over to squeeze my hand.  
“We will still have AIM. It would be expensive as hell to call each other though” I said sadly.  
“I need to get a job anyways. I can buy calling cards with my paychecks” he said trying to take the sadness away from it.  
“That’s up to you I guess. I don’t want to lose you either” I replied and shook my head trying to make the feeling go away.  
“Will you ever come back?” he asked as he searched my face for a answer.  
“We will be here for a week for Christmas. Me and my parents” I replied.  
“Then that will only be 4 months that you will be away. Then we will have a whole week” he said with a smile.  
I loved the thought of him being as sad about me leaving as I was. That meant that we were for sure on the same page with everything. It also made me not want to go that much more.

After dinner Eric informed his mom that he was taking me home. On the ride back to the apartment he never let go of my hand as he drove. At red lights he would turn to smile at me and squeeze my hand playfully.  
When we pulled up in the parking he cut the car off and sat looking down at his lap.  
“We have to stop thinking about me leaving or we won’t be able to enjoy spending what time together that we can” I said trying to pull him out of it.  
“That’s not what I was thinking about” he said as he let his head slowly turn my way.  
“Then what were you in such deep thought about?” I asked.  
“About how I really want to kiss you but I’m terrified that you will turn away” he said back.  
“Why the hell would I turn away” I said with a smile as I leaned over the middle console and put my hand on the back of his head pulling him into me. Our lips crashed together and it felt like the first kiss all over again. We finally found a rhythm and before long he had his hand on the side of my face and I had one of mine still on the back of his head and the other was grabbing onto the front of his shirt. It felt like I couldn’t get close enough to him and as the kiss went on all I could hear was my own heart beating and his heavy breathing letting me know that he wanted this just as much as I did.  
We finally pulled ourselves apart and he rested his forehead against mine and didn’t take his hand from my cheek.  
“I didn’t know kissing could feel this good” he let out before pressing his lips back to mine for one more short kiss before I got out of the car.  
“See ya later” I said as I opened the door and got out of the car and floated up the stairs and into the apartment.

“I’m going to guess by the way you look that the date went good?” Katie said as I continued floating and finally landed on the couch.  
“So good” I replied with a stupid smile on my face.  
“Aww little sis. Are you in love?” she asked with a laugh that instantly pulled me off my cloud and back into reality.  
“No. I can’t fall in love with someone that I won’t be able to see for much longer” I responded and the words physically hurt when they came out.  
“Yeah I guess that does suck” she replied before walking out of the room and leaving me alone on my couch bed to mourn what could have been my first real love.


	4. It's Not Goodbye

I talked to Eric Sunday evening on AIM and he had let me know that he was going to look for a job on Monday. The thought of losing time with him because he had to work really upset me but I didn’t let him know that. He couldn’t pause his life just because I would be leaving soon.  
Monday evening he called and let me know that he had gotten a job and would be starting the next day so he wouldn’t be around much during the days but we could still talk in the evenings. I told him that I was happy for him. Lie. I told him that I would be fine. Lie.  
Several weeks had passed with phone calls and online conversations but we had only seen each other in person twice since he started working. It was now July and I only had 2 weeks before my flight back home and my emotions were all over the place.  
I had gotten up like normal and saw Katie off and took over baby duty for the day. I didn’t bother changing out of my pajama pants and tank top. There was no point. That afternoon I fed Maddie her lunch and just as I laid her down I heard a light knock on the door. I walked over and looked out the peep hole and when I saw Eric standing there I threw the door open and basically jumped into his arms.  
“Surprise” he said into my ear as he backed us into the apartment and quietly closed the door.  
“I thought you had to work today!” I said excitedly with my arms still wrapped around his neck.  
“I swapped with someone. I wanted to see you” he said as he hugged me back tightly.  
“I missed you” I said as I breathed in his scent, trying to burn it into my brain.  
“Did you?” he asked as he pulled away from me enough to look at my face.  
“Of course I did” I said as I looked up at him and my lips felt like magnets attracted to his as I let them press firmly into his.  
He smiled into the kiss before grabbing my hand and leading the way into the living room.  
“Is the kid asleep?” he asked as we sat down on the couch.  
“Yep. You timed that just right” I said not able to wipe the smile off my face.  
“Good” he replied and pulled me into him. Wrapping both of his arms around me as we sat on the couch together.  
After a few minutes I turned my head to look at him and as soon as I did his lips came down onto mine. As the kiss deepened we situated our bodies to make it more comfortable. The kiss started to get more heated when I felt his hand come to rest on my lower back and I didn’t have time to respond before he was pushing me backwards down onto the couch. He came down on top of me and broke the kiss as he looked down at me.  
“Is this okay?” he asked with a timid voice.  
I nodded my head up at him and he nudged my cheek with his nose making me turn my head to the side and he started placing light kisses on my neck. I felt my body start to react and I had never felt this way before. My heart was racing and I knew we should stop but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that with his lips on me. When he made his way up to my ear he pulled my earlobe between his lips and I knew I had to end it.  
“Woah” I let out as I pulled away from him and sat myself up on the couch.  
“I’m sorry” he said with big eyes as he licked his lips.  
“No don’t be sorry. But I’m for sure not ready for any of that right now” I said hoping like hell it didn’t upset him.  
“That’s okay. I shouldn’t have done that” he said as he sat back down beside me and when I looked over at him his whole face was red.  
“Please don’t be mad at me” I said in almost a whisper and he instantly put his arms back around me, pulling me in.  
“I’m far from mad at you Y/n” he said before kissing my cheek. We sat like that for the next few minutes before the baby started stirring and I had to leave him there to go get her.

Once she had took her bottle and was settled on a blanket in the floor I went to sit back beside him.  
“I need to tell you something that is probably going to upset you and I’m so sorry” he said.  
I felt my heart drop to my stomach. I was so scared of whatever it was that he was about to say that I felt instantly sick.  
“I’m only going to have one more off day before you leave. We are short handed and I offered to pick up some extra shifts to help out. I think they really like me and I could end up in management soon” he said as he let his thumb run across my hand repetitively.  
I didn’t know what to say so I just sat there feeling like I was going to throw up.  
“Please say something” he finally said as he reached and took my chin in his hand and made me look at him.  
“I don’t know what to say and I may cry honestly” I replied as I pulled myself away from him and walked to the bathroom trying to compose myself.  
“We can spend the whole day together on the day before you leave. It’s a Saturday so you wont be babysitting” he said from outside the door.  
When I finally came out it was obvious that a few tears had slipped out and he immediately grabbed me and pulled me into his chest.  
“We will make this work Y/n. I’m not losing you” he whispered out as he held onto me for dear life.

When the morning before I was supposed to leave finally rolled around I was numb. I got myself ready for the day like a zombie. It felt like everything around me was moving but I was stuck in place. I didn’t want to leave him. To think about the fact that I didn’t want to come here in the first place is completely foreign to me now.  
When he finally pulled into the parking lot at 10 that morning I slowly walked down the stairs. I couldn’t wait to see him but I also knew that once this day ended that it was over. Even when I came back in December I knew things would be different. Whose to say that he would even be interested in me anymore by then.  
As I made it over to his car I tried to put a realistic smile on my face. He got out and met me before I could open the passenger door and put his arms around me.  
“Let’s walk over to that park first okay?” he said as he pulled away to look at me and I nodded my head.  
We walked over and sat on a bench because there were a few kids on the swings.  
“I don’t want this day to be full of sadness. I want us both to be able to look back at it and smile. This isn’t goodbye Y/n. I meant it when I said I think that we were supposed to meet. The universe put us together” he said as he held my hand firmly.  
“I have something for you” he said before reaching in his pocket and pulling out a small box.  
“What is it?” I asked as I wiped the stray tears from my face.  
“Open it and see” he said as he dropped the box into my hand.  
I opened it and gasped out loud. Inside was a small gold ring with a heart shape on the top and a tiny diamond in the middle of it.  
“I spent my first 2 paychecks on it. This is my way of saying that I’m not going anywhere. I want to be with you no matter how long it takes for us to be in the same place again. This is my promise to you” he said as he pulled the ring out of the box and slid it onto my ring finger on my right hand.  
“You shouldn’t have spent all your money on me Eric” I said, still in shock over everything.  
“Well that’s not all I spent it on” he replied as he reached back into his pocket and pulled out a stack of cards.  
“These are for you. And these are mine” he said as he split the cards and handed me a stack.  
“Calling cards?” I said with a laugh as I looked at the pile in my hand.  
“Yep. Enough to get up by for the next 4 months. And if it’s not then I will gladly buy more” he said as he smiled back at me.  
“You are amazing” I said as I pulled him into me and met his lips with mine.  
“Now, let’s go spend the day together” he said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the bench.

Once we were back in his car he held my hand tightly and after a few minutes I realized that we were headed in the direction of his house.  
“Where are we going?” I asked.  
“You’ll see” is all he said as he squeezed my hand.

We pulled up to his house a little while later and walked inside together.  
“Hey you two” his mom said with a smile as we made our way into the kitchen.  
“I’ll bring your lunch in a hour or so” she said as he pulled me past her and out the back door.  
He never let go of my hand as he lead me to the side of a shed where he had laid a blanket out on the ground with a pile of pillows and had a boombox with his CD case. A cooler with drinks.  
“Oh wow” I said as he pulled me down onto the blanket with him.  
“Just me and you. All day. We can talk and listen to music” he said looking proud of himself at my reaction.  
“It’s perfect” I said as I pulled him over to me and kissed him.  
“And lots of that to” he said with a smile once I broke the kiss.

We laid on the blanket talking and his mom brought out a plate of sandwiches and cookies. We ate lunch together and then went right back to talking and laughing. When the sun started to go down he got up from the blanket and went into the shed and I saw a string of Christmas lights light up that were hanging from the side of the building.  
“You thought of everything didn’t you” I said as he made his way back over to me.  
“I tried to” he responded before he laid down and pulled me to him. I laid my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me and we stayed that way in silence, just enjoying each others company for a long time.  
Once it was completely dark outside he let out a long breath and I knew what it meant.  
“I don’t want to” I said, choking on the sob wanting so bad to escape.  
“It’s the very last thing in the world that I want to do Y/n” he said and I could hear the sadness in his own voice.

We got up and walked back into the house and I was caught off guard when his mom pulled me into a hug before we left.  
“I hope to see you again soon” she said, breaking my heart all over again.  
Eric kept a firm grip on my hand all the way to the apartments as I wiped the silent tears from my face.  
The trip was so fast that when we pulled up I felt like I couldn’t breathe.  
“It’s not goodbye. Remember that” he said as he parked the car and then turned to me.  
“I can’t do this Eric” I let out as the sob finally broke free and he immediately got out of the car and came around to my side. He pulled the door open and sat down on the edge of the car as he put his arms around me and let me cry.  
When I finally pulled away I grabbed his face and pulled him into me and kissed him so hard it was almost uncomfortable but I didn’t care and he didn’t seem to either.  
“I’ll call you when I get off work tomorrow okay?” he finally said as he held me in his arms. I nodded my head not able to form words.  
“Be safe okay?” he said as he stood up and pulled me with him.  
One final hug and a quick kiss and I was walking in a daze up the stairs to the apartment.  
I knew once I was out of ear shot I was going to lose it and just when I hit that point I felt him grab me from behind.  
“I think I love you Y/n” he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my back into his chest.  
“I couldn’t let you go without saying it” he said and when I turned around I could see the tears streaming down his face.  
“I think I love you to Eric” I said and buried my face into his chest. We stood at the door holding each other for a long time before he finally pulled away. He pressed his lips to mine again before he turned and walked down the stairs.  
When I made it inside I fell apart right in the living room floor as Katie held me.


	5. Someone Take Me Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of this are actual things that I experienced while living in Colorado. But a lot is also made up. (:

It didn’t seem like I could possibly have anymore tears left in my eyes. I hugged my sister at the gate and boarded the plane in a daze. I found my row and took the window seat. A few minutes late a little girl that couldn’t have been anymore than 5 sat down next to me. She immediately started non stop talking and I smiled over at her not wanting her to think that she got seated next to a complete asshole. I listen to her chatter on and on but when the plane took off I gripped the arm rests on each side of me and felt the tears start to form again.   
“Are you scared to fly? I’m not scared. I love it! I wished that I could have the window seat though but that’s okay. If you are scared you can have it. Do you want to hold my hand?” the tiny child asked over as she reached her hand my way. I smiled at her and let her take my hand. Once the plane was in the air and the seat belt sign cut off I let go of her hand.  
“Here, switch seats with me so you can see out” I told her and she immediately jumped up and moved into my seat as I took hers.  
She spent the rest of thee flight staring out the window happily.  
Before we exited the plane I let her know that she was so sweet to make me feel better and she gave me a big hug. I didn’t picture that just a small thing would have made me feel better.

I got off of the plane and saw my parents waiting at the gate. After we had found my bag and gotten into the car my mom started to speak.  
“We are going to stay at the casinos tonight. One of your dad’s favorite musicians is playing and we have a free room. You can have the room to yourself most of the night since we won’t be up until later” she said like it was going to make me happy.  
“No! I want to go home! Eric is going to call when he gets off work and I don’t want to miss it!” I said frantically.  
“Oh Y/n, it will be fine. You can talk to him tomorrow” she responded.  
“Mom please!” I said as I felt my eyes start to burn again.  
“Y/n we are going to the hotel. End of story” my dad said causing me to throw myself back into the seat angrily.  
“Good to see that nothing has changed” I breathed out as I wiped the tears that were stinging my eyes.

Once we were checked into the room, my parents left me and went downstairs before I could throw another fit.  
I felt completely frantic as I paced the room trying to figure out what to do. When it hit me I flew into action. I ripped open the front pocket of my bag and pulled out the envelope that had my stack of calling cards in it. I grabbed one out along with the piece of paper eric had wrote his number down on and I darted to the phone in the room. I put all the numbers in and waited impatiently as the phone rang.  
“Hello” I heard his mom answer.  
“Hey Mrs. Harris. This is Y/n. Is Eric home yet?” I asked as I nervously twirled the phone cord around my fingers.  
“Hey Y/n! No he won’t be home from work for a few more hours. Did you make it home okay?” she asked sweetly.  
“That’s a long story. I actually won’t be home until tomorrow. What time do you think I should call back to catch him?” I asked.  
“Well I’m not sure what time it is there but it’s 2 here and he won’t be off until 3 and then it will take him a little bit to get home. So to be safe I would say 4 or 4:30. I can tell him that he should be expecting your call” she responded.  
“Yes please if you don’t mind. Thank you” I said back. After we said our goodbyes I hung up the phone and sat staring at the wall in front of me.  
“This is bullshit” I said out loud to no one but myself. I decided to pass the time but taking a bath. I got all my stuff together and ran the tub and got into the hot water. I laid there for a long time letting my thoughts wander back to him. I replayed all of our time together and got so lost in my thoughts that it shocked me when I snapped out of it and realized that my water was freezing cold.  
As I was getting dressed I heard my parents come in. My mom knocked on the bathroom door and informed me that they came to get me so we could go down and eat. When I came out I glanced at the clock and saw that it was only 4:15 here which meant it was 3:15 back in Colorado. I had at least another hour until it was safe to call him again so I followed them out of the room and down the hall into the elevator.  
My mom was already visibly intoxicated and I couldn’t help but laugh as she let her inner airhead come out. When she stumbled getting off of the elevator me and my dad laughed at her together as we made our way into the restaurant.  
After we had ordered our food my dad decided to try to get back on my good side.  
“Y/n tell us about your trip. How’s Madison? Your sister?” he asked as he looked at me with a smile.  
“Everybody is good” I replied as I played with the paper from my straw.  
“Tell us about Eric” my mom said and I felt the heat form in my cheeks as she said his name.  
“Eric is amazing. He made my time there so much better” I let them know and went on and on about the things that we had done together. I held up my hand and showed my mom the ring he had given me and I saw her glance over at my dad.  
“A ring huh?” my dad said with a raised eyebrow.  
“Mhmm” I said and the waitress came with our food. I hoped that would stop this conversation but it did not.  
“That seems pretty serious to have only known each other a few months” my dad started again once the waitress was gone.  
“When you know, you know” I said while cutting into my steak.  
“Well if it lasts then maybe we can meet him when we go up for Christmas” my mom responded.  
“There’s not a if. It’s going to last” I replied before taking a bite of my food.  
“I’m sure that’s what all 15 year olds think about relationships” my dad laughed out and all it did was piss me off. I started to hurry and eat my food. The sooner I got done the sooner I could get out of this situation.  
When I had eaten all that I could I pushed my plate away.  
“I’m going back to the room” I said.  
“What’s the hurry?” my mom asked drunkenly.  
“I have to call Eric” I replied timidly. Not wanting to get back into it with them again right now.  
“Y/n that’s long distance. I hope you don’t think that I’m going to pay a big phone bill every month because you are calling this kid all the time” my dad informed me.  
“Then it’s a good thing that Eric already took care of that. We have calling cards to last until December” I said matter of factly.  
“Sounds like a smart kid” he said with a approving nod.

I excused myself from the table and hauled ass back upstairs to the room. I looked at the clock as soon as I walked in and saw that it was only 5:05.  
“Jesus christ” I let out as I threw myself back onto my bed for the night.  
I stared at the clock and watched the minutes pass by slowly. When it hit 5:18 I sat up.  
“Fuck it” I breathed out as I typed the numbers in.  
He answered on the second ring.  
“Hello?” as soon as I heard his voice I felt the lump come back into my throat.  
“I miss you so much already” I forced out.  
“Are you okay? What’s going on? Why aren’t you home?” he started firing off questions and I let out a small laugh.  
“Yes I’m fine now that I’m talking to you. My parents wanted to stay the night in the hotel at the casinos. I’ll be home tomorrow” I filled him in and heard him let out a sigh of relief.  
“I’ve been worried as shit since mom told me you called. Haven’t even got out of my work clothes yet. Just been sitting here waiting on the phone to ring” he said sounding more like himself.  
“I just want to run away and come back there” I said as I laid back down on the bed.  
“Come on then” he said happily.  
“If only. My parents would have cops everywhere looking for me” I laughed out.  
“Fuck em. We can run away to Mexico and I’ll become a goat herder or some shit. You can stay at home and have a ton of babies and cook me dinner every night when I come in smelling like goat shit” he said causing me to snort.  
“Living the dream huh?” I said through the laughter.  
“Fuck yeah. Sounds good to me” he laughed back.  
We talked for almost an hour, until the voice came over the line and said we only had 5 minutes left.  
“I’m for sure gonna have to buy more of these aren’t I?” he asked.  
“Unless you get tired of talking to me I guess” I said back.  
“You wish” he said making me laugh.  
“I may actually die if I don’t hear your voice everyday” I said in my best dramatic voice.  
“Well I can’t have your death on my hands now can I?” he replied.  
“Call me at home tomorrow? We should be home sometime after lunch” I let him know, not wanting to hang up this phone more than anything.  
“I won’t be home from work until sometime after 3 but I will for sure call you. Then school starts back next week and I’ll work more evening shifts” he said like he was trying to let me down easy.  
“Then we will have to figure out how to function without sleep so that we can still talk” I replied trying to sound not so sad about it.  
“We will figure it out. But this call is going to cut off any second so I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay?” he said.  
“Okay” I breathed out.  
“Hey y/n” he said a little quieter.  
“Huh?” I responded.  
“I love you” he said and I could hear the nervousness in his voice.  
“I love you to Eric” I replied without hesitation.

I didn’t sleep much that night due to my dads ridiculous snoring so the trip home seemed like it took minutes because I slept the whole time. We got home a little after 11 that afternoon and I went straight in and crawled into my bed. I went into such a deep sleep that it scared the life out of me when I woke up to my mom shaking me and telling me to come eat dinner.  
I looked at the clock on the side of my bed and sprang up when I read that it was 6 in the evening.  
‘Mom did Eric call?” I asked frantically.  
“Yes he did. I told him you were asleep” she said like it was no big deal.  
‘You should have woke me up!” I yelled out as I scrambled out of my bed and ran into the living room to get the phone.  
“Good lord Y/n. It will be okay. I told him I would get you to call when you were awake” she said and as I flew passed her and back into my bedroom I heard my dad laugh.  
“I think our daughter may be in love” he said to my mom.  
“It looks that way. If we aren’t careful she is going to disappear in the middle of the night and end up back in Colorado” my mom laughed back. Little did either of them know that I would do that in a heartbeat.


	6. When In Doubt...

The Saturday before school started back, I was laying across my bed drawing in my notebook when my mom knocked on my bedroom door and then walked right in.  
“What are you up to?” she asked as she stood in the doorway.  
“Counting down the minutes until Eric gets off work” I responded without looking her way.  
“It seems like that’s all you ever do anymore Y/n” she replied with a laugh.  
“The mail just came. There seems to be a decent sized package for you on the kitchen table. I think the return address said Colorado maybe?” she said and before she could finish the sentence I had threw my notebook and took off into the kitchen.  
“It’s from Eric!” I said, full of excitement as I ripped it opened.  
I reached inside the big yellow envelope and pulled out a gallon sized zip lock bag and a letter.  
“What is it?” my mom asked from over my shoulder and I instinctively held it all closer to me.  
“Can I get a little privacy please?” I said before storming back to my bedroom and closing the door.  
Once I was back on my bed I opened the letter and started to read it quickly.

Y/n, I know being apart sucks pretty bad. I wanted to send you this to hopefully make you smile and also to make sure you don’t forget what I look like.  
I love you,  
Eric

I reached back inside the envelope and pulled out a wallet sized picture of him and squealed as soon as I saw his face. I pressed the picture to my lips and kissed it before holding it against my chest. Then I remembered the zip lock bag. I opened it up and was instantly hit with the smell of him. I pulled out what was inside and unfolded a solid white t shirt that he had obviously sprayed with him cologne. I felt the tears form in my eyes. Not from sadness this time but from utter happiness. I can’t believe he thought of this.  
“Well? What was it?” I heard my mom say from the other side of the door.  
“Come in and I’ll show you!” I called back. She walked in and I shoved the picture her way.  
“This is Eric” I said with a huge smile on me face.  
She studied the picture for a few seconds before she smiled over at me.  
“That is not at all what I pictured him to look like. He’s a cutie” she said making me roll my eyes at her.  
“Is that a shirt?” she asked motioning towards the tshirt that was laying across my lap.  
“It is. And it smells just like him” I let out as I held it back up to my nose and inhaled him deeply.  
“Well this has to be the cutest thing that I have ever witnessed” she said with a laugh.  
“If you keep it in the bag sealed then maybe it will hold the scent for a while” she advised before kissing my forehead and leaving the room.

A few hours later the phone rang and I dashed into the living room to grab it before anyone else could.  
“Hello?” I said, hoping so much that it would be him.  
“Y/n?” I heard his voice say on the other end.  
“I cannot describe how happy I was when I got your package today. I may or may not have kissed the picture” I blurted out as I made my way back to my room.  
“You liked that huh? I thought you would. I had to throw in the shirt to since you were always sniffing me like a creep” he said with a laugh.  
“Now you have to send me something back ya know” he continued.  
“I can for sure send you a picture but since you aren’t a creep like me then I doubt you would want one of my shirts that smells like me” I said smiling like an idiot.  
“You would be right. So how about a picture and a letter. I’ll settle for that” he replied, and I could hear him smiling to.  
“I’ll get right on it” I responded.  
We continued talking about how both of our days went and about school starting for the rest of the hour. When it was time to hang up , I felt the all too familiar sinking feeling in my stomach.  
“I wish we could just talk all night” I said, knowing that it wasn’t an option.  
“You and me both baby” he said and I felt my eyes go wide.  
“Baby?” I almost whispered.  
“Uhh, It seems that way huh?” he said with a nervous laugh.  
“I love you so much” I let out only slightly louder than a whisper.  
“I love you to Y/n. I’ll talk to you tomorrow” he said and then he hung up. I fell backwards onto my bed trying to steady my racing heart.

Monday morning rolled around and my mom dropped me off at the back of the high school. I had made plans with my friend group to meet up in the courtyard. I hadn’t seen them all summer long so I was pretty excited to catch up with everybody. As I made my way into the courtyard I saw them standing around in a circle and as I got closer I noticed someone new. She was standing in between 2 of my guy friends. I noticed she had longer blonde hair and was dressed a lot like me. I cocked my eyebrow up as I reached the group and one of my friends, Jimmy, grabbed me around my waist and picked me up in a bear hug.  
“Look who’s back” Another of my friends said as I made my way around the group giving hugs.  
“Y/n this is Amanda. She is new and kinda took your spot while you were gone” Jimmy said as he elbowed me playfully.  
“Is that so?” I asked as I looked at the girl and her piercing blue eyes shot lasers through me.  
“Nah I’m joking. But maybe you can show her around and stuff. Ya know, do girl shit” he said before everyone started to say their see ya laters and it was just me and her standing there.  
“I feel like I know you already. They talked about you all the time” she said with a blank expression on her face.  
“Well we have all been friends for over a year now so makes sense” I responded as I tried to figure this chick out.  
We walked together in silence as I showed her where her first two classes were and then I left her alone as I went to find my own. When lunch time came, I got my food and went to the table we always sit at and Amanda was sitting in my spot. I decided not to make a big deal out of it and moved around to the other side of the table across from her. She kept her eyes on me all through lunch and it was really starting to piss me off.  
“I know you two are gonna be friends because you have so much in common” A friend said loud enough for both of us to hear.  
“Nah I don’t think so” I said back equally as loud before I went to dump my tray and head to my next class.  
“Hey what’s your problem?” I heard Amanda say from behind me as I left the lunch room.  
“I don’t do drama and shit and I can tell by the way you keep staring me down that it’s going to be a issue. So there’s not need in faking being friendly” I responded as I kept walking.  
“At least we are on the same page then” she said as she stopped following me.  
“You guys are gonna have to get along if we are all gonna be hanging out” Jimmy said as he caught up with me.  
“I don’t have a problem with her. I’m just not looking for anymore friends. Plus I kind of got a boyfriend over the summer so I don’t know how much hanging out I will actually be doing” I said and felt my cheeks go red.  
“Hold the fuck up. A boyfriend. You?” he said, not trying to hide his shocked expression.  
“Mhmm” I replied as we walked inside the school and I briefly filled him in on everything.  
“A long distance relationship with a 16 year old boy. Good luck with that” he laughed and shook his head before we split up and went to our separate classes.  
I had study hall this period and decided to start my letter to Eric. Jimmy’s words had my nervous as all get out and I couldn’t shake it. I started to feel a little bad as I thought about what Eric might be missing out on because of me so I decided to put it into writing and let him know how I was feeling. When the school day had ended I got my mom to run by the post office so I could mail off the letter. As soon as it was out of my hands I started to regret saying all of the things I said to him. I hoped so much that it wouldn’t upset him.

When we pulled into the driveway at home the phone company truck was sitting in front of the house.  
“Please god don’t tell me that the phones are down” I said feeling panicked.  
“They aren’t” my mom said with a smile.  
As we were going inside the worker was going out.  
“Perfect timing” my dad said with a smile as he handed me a piece of paper.  
“What’s this?” I asked as I looked at the numbers written on it.  
“Your new phone number. I had a line added so that I could still use the computer when your little boyfriend calls” he said with a smile like he was proud of himself.  
“Are you for real!?” I squealed out as I threw my arms around his neck in a thanks.  
“The first time I see a long distance call on the bill then it’s over with” he said as I headed to my room.

I knew Eric was off work today since it was also his first day of school. I waited for the hour to tick by and then I quickly put all the numbers in and called him.  
“Hello” I heard his mom answer.  
“Hey Mrs. Harris. Is Eric home yet?” I asked.  
“He just walked in Yn” she said before she passed the phone to him.  
“Miss me?” he said and I could hear his mom giggle in the background.  
“Every second” I replied with a smile.  
“I need you to get a pen and write down this number” I said excitedly as I filled him in on my new phone line.  
After that we took turns telling each other about the days events and he of course laughed at my reaction to the new girl.  
“Sounds like you are gonna have fun with that one” he said.  
“I can only imagine so” I replied.  
“Eric I need to tell you something” I said knowing that I needed to warn him about what I had said in the letter.  
“That doesn’t sound good” he replied and I could tell he was worried.  
“I sent you a letter today but I need to let you know that one of my friends had said something that made me a little upset before I wrote it. I don’t want you to be mad at me when you read it” I blurted out.  
“So just go ahead and tell me what it says” he replied after a few seconds of silence.  
“Basically that I was worried about our long distance thing. And I don’t want you missing out on stuff because I’m here and you are there” I said with apprehension.  
“I’m gonna need you to trust me on this okay. I’m not mad first of all. I figured one of us would eventually bring it up. I’m not going to do anything that I wouldn’t do if you were here. I do love you. I don’t want you to doubt that for a minute. So we are just going to have to trust each other if this is gonna work Y/n” he replied.  
“I agree” I said after I processed his words.  
“I need to shower and eat dinner and stuff and then I’ll call you back okay?” he said.  
“I’ll be waiting” I replied before we said our goodbyes and hung up.

After dinner and my shower I laid back on my bed drawing and when the phone finally rang and I said hello he instantly started talking.  
“So I had a idea. I was planning on mailing you some more calling cards next week when I get paid anyways. So Let’s talk all night. You have your own line and my parents won’t even notice” he said sounding so sure of himself.  
“I love that idea but we have school tomorrow” I said with a laugh.  
“Shit I didn’t think about that. Friday then? Wait no I’m going bowling with some friends Friday. Saturday for sure” he responded.  
“It’s a date” I said with a smile.

The rest of the week went by without any issues. Me and Amanda did our best to ignore each other and by Friday we had grown pretty good at pretending that the other didn’t exist.  
“You coming down to the park to hang out tonight?” Jimmy asked as I put my stuff in my locker and got ready to leave for the day.  
“I don’t know” I responded trying to think of a way to get out of it.  
“Oh come on. What else are you gonna do? Sit around and wait on Mr. Perfect to call?” he asked using his new found nickname for Eric.  
“No. He has plans tonight” I let slip out without thinking about it.  
“Then so do you” he said as he put his arm around my shoulder and walked outside with me.  
“Hey Y/n’s mom” he said as I got inside my mom’s car and he leaned into the window.  
“Hi Jimmy” my mom said looking none too enthused about speaking to him.  
“Still don’t like me huh?” he said with a smile. He had never been one to give a shit about what came out of his mouth.  
“No I do not” she said before she pulled away from the school.  
She agreed to let me go down to the park tonight since it was in walking distance from my house.  
“Be home by 10” she said as I put my bag down and went back out the door.

I stood around with the group trying to have a good time as they acted stupid with each other. At one point I reached inside my purse and pulled out the picture of Eric and as I was looking at it I heard Amanda speak over my shoulder.  
“Is that the boyfriend? Mmm I can see why you don’t want to do anything besides sit by the phone. Maybe I should make a trip to Colorado” she said trying to piss me off. I just put the picture back inside my purse and crossed my arms over my chest.  
“So you wouldn’t care if I paid your little boyfriend a visit?” she asked with a wicked smile that I wanted to slap off her face.  
“Go ahead. He won’t be interested though” I replied trying to sound as confident as I could.  
“Oh please. No teenage boy would turn down any kind of pussy. Even if you think your’s is made off gold” she spit out with a laugh.  
I felt my face go red at her words.   
“Oh damn Y/n. Did you screw the guy?” Jimmy yelled out in shock.  
“No! I mean, not yet” I said stumbling over my words.  
“Oh wow. If you haven’t even put out then I know I could steal him in a heartbeat” Amanda said making me see red.  
“Eric isn’t like that. He wouldn’t want some whore” I blurted out before I could stop myself and I saw Amanda’s face change.  
“Did you just call me a whore?” she asked as she took a step closer to me.  
“I guess I did” I said not backing down to her.  
“Okay that’s enough of that” Jimmy said as he came in between us, separating us.  
“I’m going on” I said before turning and walking back towards my house.  
“Better not bring the little boyfriend here or I will show him a good time and he will forget who the hell you even are” Amanda yelled after me but I chose to ignore it and continue home.

I don’t know what the hell this bitches problem is but I decided right then and there that if she said anything like that to me again then I was going to unleash all my built up rage onto her. Fuck being the bigger person.  
I stormed through the front door still seeing red and my mom instantly came over to me.  
“Y/n are you okay?” she asked and I started spilling it all out. Needing to get it off my chest. When I finished she just stood looking at me with big eyes.  
“Well at least that answers one thing that had been bothering me” she said with a smile.  
“Which is?” I asked impatiently.  
“If you and Eric had slept together over the summer” she let out making my face go red.  
“Oh my god mom” I said rolling my eyes at her.  
“Handle it however you need to but don’t let it happen at school. You don’t want to get grounded and not be able to speak to Eric” she said before kissing my forehead and walking away.

I had just told my mom that I was still a virgin and got permission to beat a bitches ass all in 5 minutes. I laughed to myself as I made it to my room and fell down onto my bed. I really hoped that Eric would call when he got home. I let myself make up scenarios about the two of us as I drifted off to sleep.


	7. My Own Worst Enemy

“So wait a minute. You are telling me that two chicks over a thousand miles away are fighting over me?” Eric asked after I spilled out everything that had happened the night before.  
“It’s not funny Eric!” I whined at him.  
“Oh you are right about that. Not funny at all. It’s fucking bad ass” he said with a laugh making me angry all over again.  
“I’m glad you think so. While I’m over here suffering over it” I replied through clenched teeth.  
“Oh calm down Y/n. I don’t want anyone besides you. Let me enjoy the moment” he said but it didn’t ease my suffering at all.  
“Fine. Enjoy it” I replied and slammed the phone down.  
I buried my face in my pillow and let out a loud scream.  
“What in the world is wrong with you?” my dad asked from my doorway.  
“Don’t even ask” I said back as my phone started to ring again and I just stared at it. Not intending to answer. Let him suffer for a while.  
“Y/n answer that boy” my dad said with a stern look on his face.  
I shook my head in protest as he reached over me and picked the phone up.  
“You are apologizing to the wrong person son” my dad said into the phone as he watched me.  
“Yeah she’s here. Screaming into pillows and looking at me like she wants to attack. It’s a pretty funny sight” he continued and I tried to jerk the phone away from him.  
“So Eric, tell me a little about yourself” he said as he sat down on my bed trying to keep a serious face.  
Embarrassment took over and I finally managed to wrestle the phone away from my dad.  
“Okay okay here she is!” he laughed out before leaving my room.  
“What?” I said into the phone.  
“Did you seriously just hang up on me?” Eric asked sounding shocked.  
“Yes I did. That shit is not funny to me” I said back.  
“I’m sorry baby. I was just joking around. You better not ever hang up on me like that again though. Not cool” Eric responded making me snort.  
“Or what?” I asked.  
“I’m not sure yet but I’ll think of something” he mumbled into the phone.

After dinner that evening I retreated back to my bedroom and waited on Eric to call. We spent the next several hours talking about anything and everything. Everytime the minutes would run out on one card he would immediately call me back from another one.  
I don’t know what time it happened but at some point I laid down on my bed and fell asleep with the phone still next to my ear. When I woke up the next morning I felt horrible about it. I rolled over and looked at the clock and quickly dialed the numbers hoping that I could catch him before he left for work.  
He answered in the 1st ring.  
“Hello?”  
“I’m so sorry I fell asleep on you” I blurted out.  
“It’s okay baby. I listened to you snore for a while” he said with a laugh and I put my hand over my face in embarrassment.  
“Please tell me you are joking” I finally said back.  
“I don’t guess it was really snoring. More like heavy breathing” he replied as he started breathing heavily into the phone making me laugh.  
“Well that’s not embarrassing at all” I laughed out.  
“It was cute. And it’s not like I wouldn’t hear it at some point anyways” he said back.  
“You planning on sleeping next to me?” I said with a smile.  
“Absolutely. Hopefully anyways. But hey I’ve got to head out before I’m late for work. I’ll call you tonight okay?” he responded.  
“Okay. I love you” I let him know and he said it back before hanging up.

We carried on with the same routine for the next couple of months. We spoke daily whether it be on the phone or online.   
One Saturday we had planned to meet online when he got off work and I sat staring at the computer for over a hour and he never showed. After a while I decided to call him thinking maybe he had fallen asleep. When his mom answered she told me that he had went to meet up with some friends after work and she seemed shocked that he had made plans without letting me know. I tried to play it off like it was no big deal but inside I was crushed. He could have just told me and I wouldn’t have cared.  
I kept myself busy by drawing in my notebook and reading for the next several hours. By 10 that night I decided that he wasn’t going to call and I got ready for bed trying my best not to let my imagination get the best of me.  
Right as I was drifting off to sleep my phone rang. My eyes shot open and I looked at the clock. 11:17.  
“Hello” I said half asleep into the phone.  
“Oh shit. Did I wake you up?” Eric said back.  
“yeah” is all I replied.  
“I’m sorry baby. I just wanted to hear your voice” he said like nothing was wrong.  
“Well now you have” I responded and I could hear the bitterness in my own voice.  
“Yep. What are you wearing Y/n” he said causing my eyes to go wide.  
“What?” I asked not fully knowing what was happening.  
“I said, What are you wearing. Talk dirty to me” he said and that’s when it hit me that his words were slurring.  
“Eric are you drunk!?” I asked angrily.  
“Maybe a little bit. Wait are you mad at me?” he asked back as if he had no idea why I would be.  
“Yes” is all I said and the line went silent.  
“What did I do this time?” he replied with a huff that made me even more mad.  
“Are you serious right now? I waited for over a hour for you to get online like we had planned. Imagine my surprise when I called and your mom told me that you weren’t even home” I spit out.  
“You can’t get mad at me for hanging out with friends Y/n. What the fuck” he said sounding equally as pissed as I was.  
“If you think that’s why I’m pissed then you need to reevaluate the situation Eric. Now I’m going to sleep” I said before I hung up the phone.

I had expected him to either call right back or at least call first thing the next morning. But he didn’t. As the day went on, I fought with myself over if I should call him or not and eventually settled on not calling. I didn’t do anything wrong other than slightly over react.  
The following day was Monday and the whole school day went by in slow motion. I felt like everything was falling apart and I wanted more than anything to just go back to how it used to be.  
At lunch time my friends took notice to my sulking and started asking questions.  
“Everything okay?” Jimmy asked as he looked at me with concern on his face.  
“I don’t want to talk about it” I responded as I shook my head.  
“Trouble in paradise I bet. Did the little boyfriend finally come to his senses and drop your pathetic ass?” Amanda laugh out and before I was even fully seeing red, I flew off my chair and came at her. The table got shoved to the side spilling everything that was on top of it but the only thing I cared about was the feeling of my fist connecting with her face repetitively.   
“Y/n that’s enough!” I heard one of my friends yell out but there was no stopping it. I felt the angry tears running down my face as I let all of the built up rage out on the bitches face.  
I was finally pulled off of her by a teacher and as I was led out of the cafeteria I looked back and saw her sitting on the ground with a bloody face and wide eyes.  
“Stupid bitch!” I yelled out before I was pulled down the walkway and into the principals office.  
My mom was called and I was suspended for the rest of the week but I didn’t even care. Once inside my mom’s car she looked over at me and when I looked back I saw the anger on her face.  
“I said no fighting at school Y/n. Do you realize how much trouble you are in right now?” she asked as she started the car and headed towards our house.  
Once we were home the next few events happened so fast it was like I was on the outside watching it all.  
I ran to my room and quickly dialed Eric’s number. Knowing that he was at school but hoping to at least get his mom to tell him what was happening. Just as she answered my mom walked into my room and jerked the phone out of my hand and also out of the wall before she left my room again.  
“You are grounded for the next month” she called out and I put my hand over my mouth trying to silence the sob forcing its way out.

After I had cried all that I could I pulled out my notebook and wrote Eric a letter. I explained everything that had happened and how I wouldn’t be able to talk to him until right before Christmas. I folded it up and put it in the envelope and begged my mom to mail it for me. She finally agreed causing me to let out a sigh of relief. At least he would know that I didn’t just write him off.  
Two weeks passed and I hadn’t heard anything from him so I assumed we were done. My friends were all mad at me because of the attack on Amanda so I spent the school days alone for the most part and my weekends were full of doing nothing but reading and drawing. Just as I was getting used to the new norm I was sent back into a deep depression.  
“You got a letter” my dad called out one afternoon when I came in from school.  
He handed it to me, and I took it to my room to read it.  
My heart broke once again as I read the words that he had written me. He told me that he still loved me but that he also thought it was a good thing that happened because we needed a break from each other.  
A break? We hadn’t even seen each other in 4 months, and we needed a break? I had seen the movies. I knew where this was going.  
I laid down face first on my bed and I let it all out. I cried so hard that my head started to pound, and I eventually fell asleep.

The last week of school before Christmas break started just like the last few had went. At lunch time I took my table in the corner of the cafeteria by myself as usual. Just as I started to eat I saw a girl approaching the table and I let my eyes come up to meet her’s.  
“Is it okay if I sit here?” she asked. Our school wasn’t very big and I felt like I had seen everyone at least once but I couldn’t recall ever seeing her.  
“Sure” I replied as I moved my backpack off of the table and into the floor.  
“Thank you so much. It’s my first day and I have no idea what I’m doing” she said looking relieved as she sat down across from me.  
“You started a new school a week before Christmas break?” I asked as I watched her nervously picking at her lunch tray.  
“Yeah I know. So stupid. I got into a fight at my old school and my parents made me switch” she said causing me to smile at her.  
“What’s your name?” I asked.  
“Whitney. What’s yours?” she asked with a smile.  
“I’m Y/n. Nice to meet you Whitney” I replied as we shook hands across the table.  
It was completely foreign for me to meet a girl and instantly know that we were going to be friends but that is exactly what happened.  
We exchanged phone numbers and when my mom picked me up from school I filled her in on the new friendship and she was so happy about it that she ended my prison sentence three days early.  
“Don’t let it happen again Y/n. I’ll give you your phone back when we get home” she let me know and instead of feeling happy all I felt was utter sadness. I wanted to call him so bad, but I didn’t even know what I would say.  
I talked to Whitney on the phone for a while until dinner time and after dinner I got on the computer to talk to her some more.  
When I signed on his name was the first one on the list. I let the mouse hover over it for several seconds before I moved it away and started to type in Whitney’s user name.  
Before I could even search her out a message popped up on the screen.

REBDOOMER: not even gonna say hi?  
Y/n: I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to  
REBDOOMER: I’ve never missed someone so bad in my life Y/n  
Y/n: you wanted a break  
REBDOOMER: I didn’t know what I wanted. I should have written you back but when you didn’t respond to the first letter I figured it was pointless  
Y/n: I don’t know what to say  
REBDOOMER: tell me that you still love me and that we are okay  
REBDOOMER: tell me that we can go back to how we were and pretend this never happened  
REBDOOMER: but for real. Tell me that you beat that chicks ass over me  
Y/n: shut up

And just like that it seemed like everything went right back into place.  
I saw his name disappear from the chat and the phone in my room started ringing. I pushed the computer chair away from the desk and ran into my room.  
“hello?” I said out of breath into the phone.  
“Your voice is the best thing I have ever heard” Eric said back and I felt the tears forming in my eyes.  
“I can’t wait to get my hands on you” he said and my face lit up. I didn’t even think about the fact that in 4 days I would be headed back to Colorado.  
“Holy shit. That’s really gonna happen soon” I said with a laugh as I felt the excitement coursing through my veins.  
“When are you guys heading out?” he asked, pulling my brain back into the conversation.  
“We are leaving Friday as soon as they pick me up from school. But it’s a 27 hour drive so we won’t be there until sometime Saturday” I let him know.  
“Jesus. Your dad is gonna drive 27 hours straight?” he asked in shock.  
“He says he is. We will see how that goes” I replied with a laugh.  
“You have to call me as soon as you get to your sisters. I don’t care what time it is” he said making my smile go so big that it felt like my face was going to break.  
“You know I will” I replied.

We said out goodbyes and I fell asleep that night with a smile on my face for the first time in a month. Just 5 more days and I could see him face to face again. If only for a week. I knew it was going to go by fast and it was going to hurt so bad to leave him again but when I closed my eyes I could almost feel his arms around me and that put everything else in the very back of my mind.


	8. All the Dysfunction

10 hours. I had been trapped in this car with my parents now for 10. Fucking. Hours. It didn’t matter how loud I turned up the volume on my portable CD player, I could still hear the loud ass blues music blaring from the car speakers and my mom’s off key singing.  
“Jackie you couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket” my musician father said to my mom causing me to snort and her to sulk.  
“Sorry I don’t live up to your expectations dear” She retorted as she reclined her seat and got more comfortable.  
“At least Y/n got some of my musical talent” my dad said and I immediately knew what was coming.  
“No dad” I said as I sat up straighter, bracing myself for the impact.  
“oh come on. For old times sake. We haven’t sung together since she turned into a hood rat and decided you were too cool for me” dad said as I rolled my eyes at him.  
“Just sing one song with him so he will shut up” my mom added, putting me even more on the spot.  
“Fine. Let’s get it over with” I finally agreed as my dad changed the song on the CD player to the one I knew he was going to play the whole time.  
He sang his part and when it was my turn I cleared my throat and started to belt out the lyrics.  
“You father’s and you mother’s, be good to one another. Please try to raise your children right. Don’t let the darkness take ‘em. Don’t make ‘em feel forsaken. Just lead them safely to the light”  
We continued going back and forth until the song finally ended.  
“I knew you still had it in you” my dad said as he smiled at me in the rearview mirror and I put my headphones back on to cleanse my brain of what just occurred.

The sun had just started to come up when I woke up from my nap in the back seat. I sat up and looked around stretching, trying to figure out where we were.  
“Where are we?” I asked from in between the two front seats.  
“A little over halfway” my dad let me know.  
“I need to stop for gas but we are in a bad area so I want the doors locked as soon as I get out” he said, directing it towards me and my mom.  
We nodded in agreement and he pulled into the next gas station that we came to.  
He was right. This place is super sketchy. He got out of the car and I reached up and hit the automatic lock button.  
This is where things went sideways. I’ve mentioned before that my mom is a major airhead. But also in her defense, this is the first vehicle we have ever owned that had automatic everything. And also a alarm.  
We sat together in silence as we waited for my dad to pay and come back to pump the gas and all of a sudden my mom started reading one of the signs in the gas station window.  
“12 pack of bud light for 8 dollars!? Damn that’s a good price!” she let out excitedly and as my dad appeared in front of the car she reached for the door handle to open the door and tell my dad to get her some beer.  
Instead of that happening she set the alarm off on the car. I couldn’t make out the words my dad was yelling over the horn blowing but he quickly pumped the gas and got inside the car and started driving with the horn still blaring and the lights flashing.  
This went on for a good 2 miles before he finally pulled over and had to take the user manual out of the glove box to figure out how to cut the alarm off.  
I had laughed so hard that I was for sure going to pee my pants so I jumped out and popped a squat on the side of the highway. So anyone on the road that early in the morning got to see 2 middle aged adults trying to figure out how to cut a car alarm off as a teenage girl peed on the side of the road. Good times.  
When I got back in the car my mom was laughing hysterically as my dad went on a rant about how he told us to stay in the car.  
“I just wanted some beer” my mom said sadly causing my dad to finally break and die out in laughter with me. He got her some beer at the next gas station and everything was once again right in the world.

“It looks like we will be at Katie’s by 6pm” my dad let me know and I looked at the clock and saw that it was only 12pm.  
“I don’t know if I will survive the car ride back with you two” I said with a sigh and I saw my dad glance over at my mom and they smiled at each other. I didn’t think anything of it as I curled up with my blanket and pillow in the back seat and day dreamed myself to sleep.  
I recognized his car as I walked up to it. He got out of the driver’s seat and wrapped me in his arms in a big hug and I buried my face into his neck. Without a word spoken between us he took my hand and pulled me to his car and into the backseat. Our lips found each others and it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to fall deep into the kiss. I felt his hand at the bottom of my shirt and before I could protest I felt his hand come in contact with the skin on my stomach. I pushed myself further into him, giving him the okay as his hand traveled up further to rest right under my bra. He brought his lips to my neck and I let my head fall to the side giving him better access as he made his way up to my ear. I let out a sigh when his lips came over my earlobe….  
“Y/n wake up!” I heard my mom say sing song like, causing me to sit straight up out of breath. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror and my cheeks were bright red.  
“We are almost there” my dad said and I reached up and placed my hand over my rapidly beating heart. It felt so real.

We pulled into the parking lot of the apartments minutes later and after getting our bags out of the car I lead my parents up to Katie’s apartment. My mom cried as she hugged Madison, who was now a year old and walking. I hugged my sister before I pushed passed her and made a mad dash to the phone.  
“You aren’t going to spend some time with your sister first?” my dad asked.  
“Leave her alone” my mom said as she gripped onto my baby niece with a smile.  
I dialed the number by heart and when he answered I couldn’t contain my happiness and I didn’t even care that everyone in the room was now focused on my conversation.  
“Come to me!” I squealed into the phone.  
“Give me 30 minutes” he said before he hung up and I grabbed my bag and ran into my sisters bathroom for the quickest shower of my life.  
15 minutes later I was back in the living room putting my shoes on and as I was going for my jacket my dad stopped me.  
“You know we need to meet this boy before you take off with him right?” he said, stopping me in my tracks.  
“I figured. I’ll bring him up” I said as I rolled my eyes at him.  
“Where are ya’ll going?” my mom chimed in as she approached with Maddie on her hip.  
“Oh my god ya’ll. We haven’t made any plans. All I know is that I’m going to see him for the first time in months and I would really appreciate it if ya’ll left us alone! I’ll bring him up to meet you but after that go away!” I said causing everyone to start laughing.  
I watched the snow fall from the living room window as I waited for him to pull up. Everytime I saw headlights coming I would jump up. Only to find out that it wasn’t him.  
Finally I saw his car. Before he had pulled into a parking space I was out the front door and headed down the stairs. I had never ran so fast in my life. When he met me on the sidewalk we collided into each other so hard that it knocked the breath out of my lungs. The tears rolling down my cheeks felt like they were freezing to my skin because it was so cold outside but I didn’t care. All that mattered was that his arms were around me and mine were around him and we weren’t letting one another go anytime soon.  
Eventually he pulled away so that he could see me.  
“Hi” he said with a big smile on his face.  
“Hi baby” I said back as I wiped the tears from my face.  
“This feels like I dream” he replied as he leaned down and kissed my lips but I pulled away knowing that we were being watched from the window.  
“You don’t want to kiss me?” he asked, still smiling at me.  
“Of course I do” I said as I pointed up towards the windows to see my parents and Katie all looking down at us.  
“Oh shit” Eric said looking embarrassed.  
“Yep. Now you get to go meet them. So prepare yourself for that” I said as I reached down and grabbed his hand and lead him up the stairs.

Once inside, everyone tried to act like we hadn’t just seen them watching us from the window. I rolled my eyes at my dad who had picked up the newspaper and say down on the couch like he had been there for hours.  
“Parents. This is Eric” I said with a smile as I looked over at him with heart eyes.  
“Good to finally meet you Eric” my mom said as she pulled him into a hug and he awkwardly hugged her back.  
My dad came over and shook his hand with a smile on his face before he ushered him over to the couch and started questioning him.  
“No! We aren’t doing that right now!” I said as I grabbed Eric’s arm and pulled him back off the couch.  
“Okay okay. It’s snowing like hell outside though. I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you two to take off together” my dad said as he gave my mom a look.  
“Dad it’s not a big deal here like it is back home” Katie chimed in, saving the day.  
“I don’t want you on the road if it get’s too bad though” my mom added, looking out the window with a worried look.  
“We are just going to my house for a while. I promise I’ll be safe with her” Eric said as he looked at me, smiling widely.  
“I don’t know why you can’t just hang out here” my mom replied still looking worried.  
“My mom wants to see Y/n. I plan on hanging out with you guys tomorrow” Eric replied as he squeezed my hand.  
“Oh just let them go already” Katie said with a laugh as she pushed us out the door.

“That went better than expected” I said once we were inside Eric’s car with the hear blaring.  
“You didn’t think they would like me? I’m likeable as fuck” he said with a laugh as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards his house. By now it was after 7pm and the snow was coming down pretty hard.  
“Are you sure the roads will be okay for you to take me back later?” I asked.  
“Nope” he said with a smile as he continued driving.  
“Eric my parents will flip out” I said back knowing that this could only end badly.  
“We will deal with that when we have to” he responded as he reached over and squeezed my hand.

Once we were at his house and I had said my hello’s to his mom and dad, we made our way down to the family room in the basement.  
“Maybe by the time we watch a movie the roads will be too bad to drive” he said with a smirk as I pulled my shoes off and got comfortable on the couch.  
“What do you want to watch?” he asked as he kneeled down by the tower holding all the movies.  
“I don’t care at all. Just hurry up and get over here” I said impatiently.  
He pushed a movie in and kicked his shoes off before he sat down right next to me and wrapped me tightly in his arms.  
The next few minutes were spent with him running his fingers up and down my arms and me gazing up at him longingly.  
I watched his tongue come out and go over his bottom lip and before I could stop myself I leaned up and pressed my lips to his. The kiss quickly turned into a full blown make out session as we both tried to get as close to each other as we possibly could. As things started to get very over heated we broke apart when we heard someone coming down the stairs.  
“Y/n your dad just called” she said with her hands on her hips and a raised eyebrow.  
“Uhh okay” I said not knowing if we had just been caught or not.  
“He said that he is onto you” she said pointing at Eric with a small smile.  
“What are you talking about?” Eric asked looking nervous.  
“The roads are pretty bad. He doesn’t want you out on them and I feel the same. So Y/n is going to sleep in your room tonight. And you will be on the couch upstairs” she let us know and I felt my eyes go big.  
“Oh no. Am I in trouble?” I asked feeling nervous.  
“He was laughing so I don’t think so” she said before shaking her head at us.  
“You can hang out until I get ready for bed and then Eric you need to come upstairs” she said before she disappeared.  
“Well. I guess half the plan worked” he said with a laugh.  
“You thought your mom would let us sleep together if I got stuck here?” I said laughing with him.  
“It never hurts to wish for things” he replied before he went into his room and came back with a pair of pajama pants and one of his tshirts.  
“You can go change in the bathroom” he said and he watched me get up and go.

When I came back he cut the movie back on and we cuddled up on the couch again until his mom called down for him.  
He took me to his room and made a big deal out of tucking me in.  
“Goodnight. Sweet dreams. Hopefully about me” he said as he pulled the covers up around me and kissed me on the cheek. I grabbed his neck and pulled him back down for a kiss on the lips and he pulled away just as I opened my mouth to him.  
“I need to go. Now” he said as he backed away from the bed.  
“what’s wrong?” I asked as I sat up on my elbows.  
“You are in my bed and I’m not” he said with a smirk before he disappeared down the hallway.  
I snuggled my face into his pillow, inhaling his scent, as I tried to force myself to fall asleep. It was going to be a long night knowing that he is right above me in the living room as I lay in his bed.  
I finally dozed off only to be woken up to a hand going over my mouth.  
“Shhh” he said as I looked up at him wide eyed.  
“What are you doing?” I asked, terrified of getting in trouble.  
“I want to lay with you” he said as he pushed me over and climbed in next to me in the twin sized bed.  
I laid my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me, and we laid in silence. All I could hear was his steady heart beating through his chest.  
“One of these days we will have our own place and get to do this every night. Won’t have to worry about anyone catching us” he said quietly as I snuggled in closer to him.  
“Eric! Back upstairs!” We both heard his mom call out causing me to go instantly embarrassed and him to laugh.  
“We aren’t doing anything but laying here mom! The door is opened!” he called back.  
“Eric” she yelled again in warning.  
“Fine” he let out with a sigh as he rolled off the bed and kissed me before heading back up the stairs.

The next morning, I opened my eyes to find him back next to me in the bed asleep.  
“Eric! Your mom is gonna kill us” I said as I pushed on him to wake him up.  
“She knows I’m here. I’ve only been here about a hour. She’s cooking breakfast” he said as he stretched and then pulled me back into his arms.  
After we ate breakfast his mom said that the roads were clear enough so we headed back to the apartment.  
“Do you think your dad is going to kill me?” he asked as we parked the car.  
“Quite possibly” I said with a laugh before we headed up the stairs.

I was surprised to see that neither of my parents acknowledged what had happened. It made the rest of the day more comfortable than I had imagined it would be.  
We ordered pizza for dinner and Eric and I made plans to see each other the next day. Christmas Eve.


	9. All I Want For Christmas Is You

The next day was Christmas Eve. My sister wanted to take my parents and show them around town and they agreed to let Eric come over while they were gone as long as we watched the baby. A few minutes before they left he arrived with a present in his hands.  
“I didn’t know we were getting each other gifts” I said as he came in and closed the door behind him.  
“Well this is kind of for both of us so don’t feel bad about it. Besides, all I want for Christmas is you” he said in a cheesy voice as he came at me with his lips puckered up.  
“Are we sure we should leave these two alone?” my dad asked as he witnessed our shenanigans from the couch.  
“They will be fine. Trust your daughter” my mom said as she winked at me on her way to put her jacket on.  
“Yeah dad. Trust your daughter” I echoed and made my way into the living room with Eric behind me.  
“Let’s see what’s in the box” dad said once we were sat down on the couch.  
“I always feel so weird with everyone watching me opening a present” I said when Eric put the box in my lap.  
“Just open it” he said with a smile.  
I ripped the colorful paper off and threw it in the floor and studied the box.  
“A webcam?” I said in confusion.  
“Yep” Eric said with a huge smile on his face.  
“I got myself one to so we can see each other when we talk” he finished.  
“Oh wow. Those are pretty expensive aren’t they?” my dad asked as he took the box out of my hand and put his glasses on to look at it.  
“About the same as 5 months worth of calling cards” Eric replied as he reached over and squeezed my hand.  
“I guess you are right about that” my dad responded and nodded his head as he read the back of the box.

Not long after that everyone left and it was just me, Eric, and Maddie. We watched TV and talked while the baby played and then I laid her down for a nap and came back to the couch to sit with Eric.  
“Do you remember the night we got into that fight when you called me drunk as shit?” I asked with a laugh while thinking back on it.  
“Not one of my best moments” he said as he closed his eyes in embarrassment.  
“I’ve never even been drunk” I said and he shot his head my way.  
“For real?” he asked in shock.  
“Yeah. I mean I’ve tasted beer but the shit is nasty” I responded while making a disgusted face.  
“I’m gonna get you wasted when you come back this summer. We can celebrate both of our birthdays together” he said as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him.  
“Will you take care of me it I get too drunk?” I asked playfully.  
“Of course I will” he said before kissing my forehead. We fell silent as we watched the TV and before long I fell asleep with my head on his chest. When I opened my eyes my head was still on him and I saw my dad reading the paper on the love seat and my sister and mom in the kitchen.  
“Good morning” my dad said as he looked my way for a split second and then returned his eyes to the paper.  
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep” I said hoping that the baby didn’t wake up and get hurt while I was out.  
“It’s okay. Maddie just now woke up to” Katie called out from the kitchen and when I lifted my head off of Eric’s chest he stretched real big before realizing that everyone was looking at us.  
“Oh, my bad” he said sleepily as he sat up straight and moved away from me.

He left shortly after which sucked because tomorrow was Christmas and we wouldn’t get to see each other until the next day.  
After Madison was put to bed my parents started drinking beer and my sister brought out a big bottle of green apple pucker. Her and her husband took shots and they even talked my mom into taking a few which cracked me up.  
After we had put all the presents out my sister passed the bottle to me and I looked at her weirdly.  
“Take a drink” she said with a laugh and I looked at both of my parents who seemed just drunk enough to not care.  
“Eh. I think I’ll do that another time” I said as I sat the bottle down on the table.  
“You aren’t going to drink even though both parents say it’s okay?” she asked looking at me weirdly.  
“Me and Eric plan on me drinking with him for the first time” I let out and as soon as I did my dad stood up and poured a shot in one of the glasses and handed it to me.  
“Take it. I want you to drink so much that you get sick and never want to do it again” he said with a serious look on his face.  
I shrugged my shoulders and took the glass from his hand and threw it back. It actually tasted pretty good. Nothing like beer. Me and Katie took turns taking shots until the bottle was gone and my whole body was on fire.  
I stood up to go to the bathroom and had to hold onto the wall for support. When I came back into the room everyone was watching me.  
“You get sick?” my dad asked with a laugh.  
“Nope” I replied.  
“She looks pretty okay to me” my mom said with a drunken laugh.  
“I would drink some more if we had it” I replied causing my mom to laugh and my dad to shake his head in disappointment.  
“You created a monster” my mom laughed out.

I woke up Christmas morning to the sound of my sister yelling down the hallway for us to get up and get the camcorder going so she could bring the baby out.  
My dad got it all set up and then turned to look at me.  
“Hungover?” he asked with a hopeful look.  
“I feel pretty good actually” I said as I smiled over at him and he let out a disapproving grunt.

After Madison had her feel of all her presents and ate some breakfast she got put down for a nap and it was the grown ups turn to exchange gifts.  
My sister got me a hot topic gift card and told me she would take me there before we left. Without saying anything I knew that Eric would be the one to take me. Not her.  
My mom stood and handed me and envelope and I saw my dad take a deep breath before I started to rip it open.  
“Slow down” she said causing me to stop and look at her.  
“This isn’t your main present. We couldn’t bring that with us so you will get it back at home. Before you open that you need to know that we are putting a lot of trust into you. Okay?” she asked as she watched me intently for signs of betrayal.  
I nodded my head not knowing what the hell I was about to pull out of the envelope. I ripped it open and pulled out a plane ticket.  
“What is this for?” I asked as I tried to read what it said but it was all confusing to me.  
“It is a ticket back home. For right before school starts. Katie agreed to let you stay here. So you get to stay a extra week” she said and I felt my mouth start to twitch.  
I sprang off of the couch and threw my arms around both of my parents. I couldn’t wait to tell Eric. 

After we had cleaned everything up and everyone was relaxing my mom called me into the kitchen and over to her purse.  
“I know you felt bad about not having anything to give Eric so I took it upon myself to get you this. I know it isn’t much but I thought you both would like a copy” she said and pulled out two 5x7 frames and handed them to me.  
I looked at them and in the frames were a picture of me and Eric asleep on the couch with my head on his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around me.  
“You are sneaky” I said with a laugh trying to hide my emotions.  
“You’re welcome” she said as she squeezed my arm and went back into the living room.

That evening the phone rang and everyone knew it was going to be for me so nobody made a attempt to beat me to it.  
“hello” I said happily into the phone.  
“Merry Christmas Y/n” he said.  
“Merry Christmas to you to” I replied as I took the cordless phone down the hall and into the bathroom. I sat up on the counter as he told me about his day and I decided randomly that I wasn’t going to tell him right now that I’m here for an extra week.  
“I mainly just got a bunch of money” he said sounding happy about it.  
“What did you get?” he asked and I cut him off not wanting to lie to him but not ready to tell him yet.  
“Will you take me to the mall tomorrow? I got a gift card I want to spend” I interrupted.  
“Of course I will. I can’t wait” he said happily like he didn’t even notice that I had cut him off.

The next day I got up and took my time getting myself ready. Eric came to the door to get me and we walked hand in hand back to his car. I brought my CD case with me and put it one of my favorites. When Keep Away by godsmack started playing he looked over at me weirdly.  
“You trying to tell me something?” he asked before I saw the smirk form on his face.  
Without thinking about it I started to sing along to the song and caught him looking at me now with wide eyes.  
“You can sing?” he asked in shock.  
“Everyone has the ability to sing” I said with burning cheeks.  
“No but you can actually sing. Why did I not know this?” he asked as we parked at the mall.  
“You never asked” I replied as I found his hand with mine and we walked into the mall.

We went straight to hot topic and I got a couple band tshirts and paid before we walked to the food court for lunch.  
“Hey Eric!” someone called out from behind us as we waited in line at the food counter.  
“Oh hey man what’s up” eric said and reached out, bumping fists with the lanky guy that had called out to him and then did the same with the other one.  
“Y/n, this is Dylan and this is Nate” he said with his hand on my lower back.  
“Hey” I said as both boys seemed to be studying me.  
“All this time I thought you were full of shit” Nate said as he pulled his eyes away from me and back to Eric.  
“I have to agree with that” Dylan said with his eyes still glued to me.  
“You guys didn’t think I was real?” I asked with a laugh as I grabbed Eric’s wrist and pulled his hand off of my back and into mine.  
“Not even a little bit” Nate said like he was very sure of himself.  
“Anyways, I’m having a New Year’s eve party at my house Wednesday. You guys wanna come?” Dylan asked, looking back and forth between me and Eric.  
“I’ll probably swing by. She is leaving Saturday evening though” Eric replied as he squeezed my hand and looked over at me sadly.  
“Actually I would love to” I said, figuring now was as good a time as any to tell him.  
“Wait, what?” Eric asked as he studied my face intently.  
“You hear me. I’m not leaving until January 3rd” I said like it was no big deal.  
“Why didn’t you tell me! Holy shit!” Eric yelled out as he grabbed me and picked me up around my waist and slung me around right in the middle of the mall.  
“My parents got me a plane ticket home for Christmas” I said with a laugh when he finally put me back down.  
“So they are leaving you here!?” he asked with a huge smile on his face.  
“I know I couldn’t believe it either” I laughed out.  
“Then we will see you guys on Wednesday” Dylan said before the two guys walked off together leaving me and Eric standing in the food court grinning at each other like idiots.  
“I’m so getting you drunk for the first time on New years eve” Eric said once they were gone.  
“Uh about that. I may have gotten pretty drunk last night” I said, filling him in.  
“Your parents got you drunk for the first time. I don’t know whether to be jealous of you or them” he said as he shook his head in disbelief.  
“How were we going to get drunk at his house anyways with parents there” I asked.  
“Dylan’s parents won’t be there. He has people over everytime they leave. We have our ways” he said with a smile but I felt my heart start to race dangerously fast. A whole night in a house with not parents seemed very wrong but I was so excited that I couldn’t stop smiling.

We spent the rest of the day walking around the mall together and sneaking kisses every now and then when there wasn’t a big crowd.  
When we pulled up at the apartments I told him I needed him to wait on me because I had something for him. I ran upstairs and grabbed the picture before returning to his car.  
“What’s that?” he asked once I was back inside.  
“Technically it’s from my mom I guess” I said as I handed it over to him. When he looked at it there was nothing in the world he could do to hide the smile that spread across his face.  
“I love this so much” he finally said once he looked back at me.  
“Me to. It’s going right beside my bed when I get home” I let him know before we said our goodbyes and I kissed him quickly on the lips before going back upstairs.


	10. Oh The Situations We Get Into

I would have been lying if I had said I wasn’t excited about my parents leaving to head back home. I was glad that they both liked Eric and all, but I felt like we couldn’t really be ourselves and act how we wanted to act when they were around.  
By the time new year’s eve rolled around, me and Eric had seen each other every day and had gotten used to being back in each other’s presence. That doesn’t change the fact that everytime I knew he was on his way, my stomach would start to flop and my heart would start to race.  
I spent the afternoon slowly getting myself ready. Once I had decided that I would rather be comfortable since it was bound to be a long night, I settled on jeans and a band tshirt with my Independent hoodie to keep me warm.  
I was shocked when I had asked Katie to let me spend the whole night at Eric’s friends house and she didn’t even flinch.  
“If mom and dad ever find out then I’m going to play dumb. Just so you know. You better be safe and do not get into a car with anyone that has been drinking. For any reason” she said.  
I dumped everything out of my backpack and threw in some pajama pants and my toothbrush and as it got closer to time for him to pick me up I started to get super nervous. What if I do get drunk and end up doing something dumb. Like puking in Dylan’s floor or something. My thoughts were running rampant with all the possibilities of what could go very wrong, but also of what could go very right.  
My heart was beating at an alarming rate and when I heard the knock on the door it scared me to death.  
“Why are you so jumpy?” Katie laughed as she opened the door and Eric walked inside.  
“It’s freezing out there” he said as he walked my way and put one of his ice cold hands on each side of my face.  
“Nooo!” I shrieked as I pulled away from him.  
“You won’t help me get warm Y/n? I thought you loved me” Eric responded while trying to give me his best sad face, only making me laugh as I moved further away from him so that his frozen hands couldn’t touch me again.  
“You two please be safe. Eric I’m trusting you” Katie said and after a quick goodbye we were off.  
“Wait until you see Dylan’s house. You are gonna shit” Eric said as he drove us to our destination for the night.  
I sat nervously in the passenger seat, letting myself start to worry about what the night would hold as Eric drove us along the winding road.  
When he slowed down and turned into a driveway my jaw dropped open.  
“Holy shit” I let out as we crept up the driveway and the house came into view.  
“I told you” he said with a smile.

We got out of the car and walked to the front door hand in hand as always. Dylan answered and let us in and I immediately noticed the crowd of people and I started to get even more nervous as most of their eyes focused on me.  
I felt my grip tighten on Eric’s hand and he looked over at me as we walked into the kitchen.  
“Everyone’s cool” he said quietly, trying to calm me down.  
I was introduced to everyone and as conversations started, I stood quietly beside Eric just taking it all in.  
“Anyone who is planning on drinking needs to convince me that they had a DD or hand over their keys” Dylan said as he walked into the kitchen with a handful of brown paper bags and sat them down on the counter.  
As he started to pull out the contents, I knew my eyes were huge but there was no hiding my reaction.  
“How did he get all that alcohol?” I whispered over to Eric, who in turn just smiled at me.  
Only a few people decided that they were going to drink and the other’s scattered around the house doing their own thing.  
I took noticed to the ratio of boys verses girls. There were only 3 other girls that I had seen and at least 10 guys.  
“Are there more people coming?” I ask, genuinely curious.  
“I doubt it. It’s almost 9 already” Eric let me know and then he reached out and grabbed a few bottles of the alcohol and lined them up in front of me on the counter.  
“Pick your poison” he said.  
“That’s the one I drank at Katie’s so how about that one since I know I like it” I said while pointing at the bottle of green liquid.  
“Pucker huh? How about I make you something with the pucker. I bet you are gonna love it” he told me as he grabbed a shot glass and filled it half full of the pucker and filled it the rest of the way with something called buttershots.  
“What is it?” I asked once he was satisfied with the concoction.  
“Taste it and you tell me”  
I shrugged my shoulders and took the shot in one big gulp.  
“Oh wow that’s really good” I said as I sat the glass back down and motioned for him to make me another.  
“What did it taste like?”  
“Kinda like a caramel apple” I said after thinking about it for a second.  
“Exactly”  
He filled the glass back up two more times and I drank them down before he finally took one for himself.  
“I’m gonna be way more drunk than you if you are only taking one to my three” I said with a laugh.  
“Well duh, I have to stay sober enough to take care of you if you get too wasted” he said making me laugh.  
“She seems to be loosening up” Dylan said as he approached us with his own drink in his hand.  
“These are so good” I replied as I tossed back another one of the sweet shots.

A little bit later me and Eric had took a seat at the kitchen table and as I listened to him and his friends tell stories I realized that I was buzzing pretty hard.  
Eric just kept passing me shots and by the 10th one I knew I couldn’t take anymore and still be okay.  
I stood up quickly trying to stop my brain from spinning and Eric grabbed on to my wrist as his friends laughed.  
“I think she’s hit that point dude” Dylan laughed out.  
“That was his plan all along” I said and I could hear how slowly my words were coming out.  
“If she pukes that’s on you”  
“Shut up Dylan” Eric replied and went to get me a bottle of water.  
I took it from him and walked out the front door to get some air. I hadn’t been out there long when Eric came up behind me.  
“Too much?”  
“I don’t feel sick. Just spinny” I replied with a laugh.  
“Spinny huh? That usually comes right before sick”  
“Oh god don’t tell me that” I said while trying not to panic.  
“Relax baby. Just don’t drink anything else besides water and you will be okay” he replied as he pulled me into him and kissed my cheek.  
“I’m sorry I got so drunk”  
“Y/n I made you this drunk” he laughed out.  
“Now come back inside. It’s fucking cold” he said as he shivered dramatically.

Not even an hour later, everyone was in Dylan’s back yard getting ready to shoot off fireworks. I was wrapped in a blanket and sitting on the stairs that lead out of the backdoor as I watched Eric messing around with his friends in the yard.  
“So are you guys like, boyfriend and girlfriend?” I heard from beside me and looked up at the girl standing there.  
“Yes we are”  
“Oh, that’s cool I guess” she said as she gave me a look and then walked away.  
“What was that about?” Eric asked after he jogged over to me.  
“She asked it I was your girlfriend. Who is she?”  
“A nobody. Someone I used to have a crush on, but she blew me off. Then right around the time school started back she decided the liked me. Too late for that” he said while pulling the blanket from around me and tucking himself in next to me under it.  
“Well that doesn’t make me feel weird at all”  
“It shouldn’t. You know all I want is you” he said into my ear and suddenly I didn’t feel so cold anymore.  
“Everything is all set up. We have 30 minutes before midnight. Who is taking a shot with me?” Dylan called out as he walked passed me and back into the house.  
“Go ahead. You seem pretty sober” Eric said.  
“What if I get all spinny again?”  
“Then you get all spinny again. Come on” he said as he pulled me up and into the kitchen.  
We stood around the counter and before I knew it I was for sure spinny again.  
“Damnit” I let out causing Eric to laugh at me.  
“Screw it. I’m getting drunk with you this time” and he quickly threw back several shots in a row. His cheeks had gotten red and I could tell that we were basically on the same level by the time we made it back outside and under our blanket.  
Everyone around us yelled out the countdown to New Years and several of the guys shot off the fireworks as everyone yelled out.  
“Happy New years baby” Eric said into my ear before turning my face towards him and forcefully pushing his lips into mine.

Once all the fireworks had been set off, everyone came back inside the house and one by one started to leave.  
Before long it was just me, Eric, Nate, and Dylan. The latter two being highly intoxicated and no longer able to form coherent words.  
Dylan tossed a blanket over Nate, who was now passed out in one of the recliners in the living room and then he motioned towards the couch.  
“You guys can crash there. Sorry that’s all I have to offer” he slurred out before disappearing up the stairs to pass out himself.  
I took my backpack into the bathroom and pulled off my hoodie and changed into my pajama pants. I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair up before going back to the living room where Eric was already laid down on the couch with the covers over him.  
“Are you going to sleep?” I asked as I dropped my bag onto the ground and went to sit next to him.  
“I might be” he said sleepily.  
“Don’t do that” I replied as I started to tickle his side.  
“Noooo baby” he laughed out as he tried to shield himself from my attacks.  
He grabbed my arms and pulled me into his before wrapping the blanket around both of us.  
I buried my face into his neck and everytime I felt his body start to relax and I heard his breathing start to get heavy I would tickle him again.  
“Woman I’m sleepy”  
“I don’t want you to go to sleep though” I said back. He moved to where he could pin my arms down and I couldn’t tickle him again and I let out a frustrated groan.  
He didn’t respond and before he could get comfortable again I leaned my head up and blew into his ear.  
“You are relentless” he laughed out.  
“Yep”  
He loosened his grip on me giving me access of my arms back and this time before he could get comfortable I leaned up and kissed him on the neck. When he didn’t respond I continued, placing multiple kisses in all the spots I could reach. When I opened my mouth and let my tongue graze his skin I felt his body stiffen against me but he didn’t stop me.  
I felt a mixture of nervousness and anticipation when I did it the same thing again and ran my tongue up until I hit the bottom of his ear. I heard let out a long breath before he unwrapped his arms from around me and moved to where he was now on top of me, bringing the blanket with him. He brought his mouth to mine and immediately pushed his tongue passed my lips, forcefully, he deepened the kiss and when he pressed himself against me I moaned out at the contact.  
“Oh fuck” he whispered as he rested his forehead against mine and continued to slowly press himself against me.  
My legs fell open wider on their own and he pulled away and looked into my eyes. He stopped moving completely and my hips started to buck up towards him, trying to bring the contact back.  
“Y/n. We should stop” he said breathlessly as he looked down at me.  
“I know. But I don’t want to” I replied and brought my hands up to rest on his shoulders.  
“Yeah me either, but I don’t think that’s something that either of us are ready for right now. Especially not in Dylan’s living room” he replied before he moved off of me and laid back down beside me.  
I rolled over to face him and we stayed that way doing nothing but looking at one another for several minutes.  
“I don’t want to leave you again” I said, breaking eye contact.  
“I know”  
“Everything is going to get all weird again. And I feel like I can’t do anything about it when I can’t even see you” I continued as my emotions started to spill over.  
“We will be able to see each other this time though. The webcams remember”  
“You know what I mean” I replied as I snuggled my face back into his neck.  
We fell asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms. As close as we could possibly get to each other.  
I woke up the next morning alone on the couch. I sat up and looked around and realized that Nate was gone to and then I heard the conversation coming from the kitchen.  
I couldn’t make out whose voice it was, I only knew it wasn’t Eric speaking.  
“Dude I’m not even sorry. If I had been in that position you just would have to get over it. I would be screwing my chick on the couch, I don’t care who’s in the room”  
“I couldn’t do it man. If we had been at my house then maybe”  
“Maybe? What the hell is wrong with you. She was dry humping you and practically begging for it.”  
“I didn’t want it to be like that our first time” I heard Eric say back quietly.  
“God damn dude. You really are in love with this chick”  
“Shut up” Eric said back and I smiled to myself. It did bother me a little that they were having a conversation about me, but I also knew that he would probably tell his friends about it anyways.  
“Go wake up your girlfriend and get the hell out of my house before my parents get home and we are all in deep shit”  
I quickly laid back down and faked like I was still asleep. Knowing he would be embarrassed if he knew I had heard them.  
I felt him sit down on the couch beside me and then I felt his hand come up and he lightly rubbed my cheek.  
“Baby”  
I decided not to respond right away.  
I felt him lean down and kiss my cheek before I heard him right in my ear.  
“Baaaaby” he said causing me to break and let out a laugh.  
“Good morning” he said while tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear.  
I let out a dramatic groan before stretching and sitting up.  
“Let’s hit up a drive thru for breakfast and then we can go back to my house”  
I got up and went to get myself dressed and when I came back, he was ready to go. We said our goodbyes and I thanked Dylan for inviting as he smiled down at me like he had a secret. Not knowing that I already knew that Eric had told him everything.

We got food at Mcdonald’s and carried it back to his house and played it off like he had left Dylan’’s house and came to pick me up.  
His mom didn’t question it but I felt like she knew. Even though we technically didn’t do a whole lot wrong I still felt guilty as we made our way into the basement.  
We ate our food and watched TV together and out of nowhere Eric sat straight up and looked at me.  
“I just had the best idea”  
He grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs.  
“Mom I’ll be back later” he called out without an explanation of where we were going.  
Minutes later we pulled into a grocery store and he lead the way inside.  
“What are we doing?”  
“You’ll see” he said as he drug me down one of the aisles.  
We stopped in the front of the disposable cameras and he looked over at me with a big smile.  
“One for me and one for you” he said as he grabbed two off of the rack and we headed to the check out.

I opened mine as soon as we were back inside his car and started snapping pictures of him.  
“Hey no fair! I can’t take pictures while I’m driving”  
“Too bad” I said with a laugh as I snapped 2 more.  
“Don’t you want pictures of something other than me driving?”  
“I could fill this whole camera up with nothing but pictures of the side of your face and I would be happy” I responded.  
He leaned over and pulled me into a kiss before he started the car and drove for what seemed like forever.  
When he finally stopped, we were parked on a dirt road surrounded by trees.  
“Come on” he said as he grabbed his camera and opened his door.  
“Eric it’s freezing”  
“We will be quick”  
The next few minutes were spent with us taking turns posing for the cameras and trying our best to get pictures with both of us in them.  
Once my fingers were so cold they felt like they might fall off, we got back inside the car and he cranked the heat up.  
“We can drop the cameras off to get developed before I take you home and I can pick them up before I see you tomorrow”  
“Sounds good” I replied while holding my hands in front of the vent to thaw them out.  
“It’s still early. Any ideas for the rest of the day?”  
I thought about it for a second and all I could see in my head was the dream that I had in the car ride with my parents.  
“What’s that face about?” he asked as he watched me, and I felt my cheeks go red.  
“Your face just turned 4 shades darker. What are you thinking about?” he said with a big smile causing me to turn away from him.  
“I had a dream about us in your car. And now that we are sitting here in it, its all I can think about” I let him know, deciding not to hide it from him.  
“Oh yeah? What happened in the dream?”  
“Lot’s of kissing” I replied, too embarrassed to go into anymore detail.  
“You dreamed about us making out in my car?”  
“Stop” I said with a laugh as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.  
“Come on” he said as turned the cars engine off but left the heat blowing and the music playing, then he climbed from the front seat and into the back.  
I only hesitated for a second before I followed him into the back.  
We spent the next 2 hours all over each other. Pulling back before it went too far only to build right back up to that point again.  
Right in the middle of a very heated kiss his car cut off.  
“What just happened” I said in a panic.  
“I think we just killed the battery”  
“What the hell Eric. It’s freezing outside. How are we going to get out of here?” I asked.  
“It’s fine, I have a cell phone in case of emergencies” he let me know as he crawled back into the front seat and opened the glove box.  
“The bad part about this is that I’m gonna have to call my mom and pray to god she doesn’t’ send my dad to save us”  
Which is exactly what ended up happening.


	11. See Ya Later

Half an hour later his dad pulled up. Looking none too happy about anything to do with the situation.  
“I’m sorry dad” Eric started but his dad cut him off.  
“What would have happen if you didn’t have the cell phone Eric? You two could have froze to death. Nobody knew where you were. This was a very dumb decision”   
“I said I’m sorry” Eric replied angrily as his dad attached the jumper cables to the two cars.  
“Start the car son”  
Eric got into the drivers seat and the car started right up.  
“Thanks” Eric said towards his dad he just shook his head angrily.  
“Take Y/n home and then I expect you to be home within the hour”  
And with that his dad got inside his vehicle and drove away.  
“He’s pissed” I said as the heat blew into my face warming me instantly.  
“Yeah he is. I guess I fucked up”  
“I hope you don’t get grounded. I’m only here for two more days” I said and started to panic.  
“I’ll figure something out if I do. Don’t worry about it” he replied as he pulled off of the road and headed in the direction of my sisters house.  
Telling me not to worry had the opposite effect. When he reached over and took my hand I squeezed it like I would never be able to hold it again.

Later that evening after I had ate and showered I was laying on the couch when the phone rang.  
“Hello” I answered knowing that it was going to be him.  
“So, I’m grounded”  
“Oh shit Eric. No!” I said and felt my chest start to burn.  
“It’s not that bad. They decided not to start it until you leave and then I’m losing my car for a few weeks”  
“What about phone and computer?” I asked and squeezed my eyes closed, waiting on the impact to hit.  
“Nah. Just my car”  
“Well that doesn’t affect me at all” I said in relief.  
“At least there’s that then. I’m back to either bumming rides or getting dropped off by my parents”  
“Oh damn, I’m sorry” I replied, feeling bad that I wasn’t very sympathetic.  
“It was worth it” he said with his mouth closer to the phone, causing me to smile widely.  
“Was it?”  
“Of course it was. I would do it again in a heartbeat”  
“Calm down mom I was joking” he said making me snort.  
“Anyways, I have to work the morning shift tomorrow so I won’t see you until I get off. Will you survive without me?”  
“I don’t know how I will honestly” I replied trying to be as dramatic as I could.  
“Then screw it. I’ve been wanting to find a new job anyways”  
“I was playing Eric. Go to work and I’ll see you when you get off” I laughed out.  
We said our goodbyes and then I went to my couch bed. When I closed my eyes I was kept awake by the memories of everything that had happened the last two days. I wished we hadn’t stopped. When the thought hit me, my eyes flew open. But that can’t be the truth. I know I’m not ready for that and he said he wasn’t either. But the thought was still there. What would it be like for him to touch me, for me to touch him. I sat up and ran my hand through my hair as I tried to sort out my thoughts.  
But what if I am ready. Or what if I never am. I was getting myself all worked up and I wished more than anything that I could bring myself to have that conversation with him. I eventually laid back down and did my best to clear my brain and fell asleep.

The next afternoon I was sitting on the couch drawing in my notebook when Katie came into the living room and informed me that they had to decided to go visit her in laws for the night. It didn’t make a difference to me until she told me that she would rather me stay there instead of going out while they were gone. As soon as I started to protest, she shushed me.  
“Eric can come here for a little while” she said and I started to calm down.  
“But only for a little while. I want him gone by 9 and if he isn’t gone by then I will personally call his parents and tell them that he wasn’t supposed to be here because we aren’t home”  
“Brutal” I replied, smiling from ear to ear.  
“I’m dead serious Y/n. I’ll call and check in. I can also call the neighbors if I need to”  
“No need in that. 9 o’clock. Got it”

They left not long after and as I took a bath, I couldn’t help but to think about how cool my sister turned out to be. I would never have imagined that she would be helping me sneak around to be alone with my boyfriend. Then all of the thoughts from the night before started to flood back in. I didn’t know that I would have the will power to stop things if they started going in that direction again and I wasn’t so sure that I would want to.

When Eric knocked on the door around 5 that evening, he had no idea that I wouldn’t be coming down to get in his car for us to go on another adventure.  
Instead I grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him into the apartment.  
“I was thinking that we could go get some food or something” he said, not catching on to the fact that we were here alone.  
I stepped into him and pressed my lips to his and when he pulled away I pulled him back to me.  
“Y/n” he started to protest and I smiled into his lips.  
“I was thinking that we could stay here instead. Cook a frozen pizza. Cuddle on the couch”  
“A lot of people live in this small ass apartment” he laughed out in response.  
“Then it’s a good thing they are gone all night”  
“Oh yeah?” he asked and put his hands on my waist.  
“Yep. But you are under strict orders to leave by 9”   
“Works for me” he replied as he smiled down at me.

I put the pizza in the oven as he flipped through the channels on the TV trying to find something decent to watch.  
I set the timer and joined him on the couch and before I knew it my heart rate had shot up as my mind started to wander again. He must have sensed my mood change because he turned his head to look at me.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“I don’t know how to start that conversation” I let him know and watched his face change to a worried expression.  
“Well now you have to”  
“I really don’t think I can. Can we just forget it?” I asked hoping like hell he would say yes.  
“What’s it about?” he pressed on, and when I realized he wasn’t going to drop it I blurted out the single word that was causing all my distress.  
“Sex”  
His mouth fell open slightly and he started to smile at me.  
“Don’t look at me like that, I’m embarrassed” I said while covering my face with my hands.  
“Don’t be embarrassed Y/n. What’s there to talk about though?”

“I can’t stop thinking about. One minute I think I want to and then the next I’m fucking terrified and I just don’t know how you feel about it” I blurted out before I chickened out.  
“How I feel about sex? Of course I want to do it. But everything you just said let me know that you for sure aren’t ready for that. And wanting to do it and being ready are two different things. So I’m not even sure that I am either. But I can tell you one thing that I do know” he said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him.  
“What?”  
“That when the time comes, I know it will be with you. Whether that is tomorrow or two years from now” he said, instantly making me feel better about it all.  
“It scares me because you say that now but I’m about to leave again. And then I will leave again after that. What if you get tired of waiting?”  
“Please don’t worry about that. One of these days you won’t have to leave. Or I will come there and we will be together” he said and I looked over at him.  
“You would come to me?” the thought had never even crossed my mind.  
“Of course I would. Without a doubt”   
Before we could continue the conversation the timer on the oven went off and I went to get the pizza.  
As we ate, the conversation went back to normal and it was like nothing had ever happened which made me relieved and happy that I had brought it up even though he had to force it out of me.  
We cleaned our plates up and went back to the couch together.  
“It’s 7:30. An hour and a half before I have to go” he said as he moved closer to me on the couch.  
I looked over at him nervously, knowing where this was going but not knowing how I was supposed to respond to it after the conversation we had.  
“We can pretend we are back in my car. Won’t have to worry about a dead battery this time” he said with a laugh, not picking up on my nervousness.  
My nervous habit of chewing on my bottom lip finally gave me away and he reached up and pulled it from between my teeth.  
“Don’t be weird about it baby. I promise all I want to do is kiss you” he said as he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine.  
“Maybe here to” he continued and moved my hair to the side to kiss my neck. I leaned my head over giving him the okay and when I felt his tongue on my skin I sucked in a deep breath.  
“See, nothing more than that” he whispered into my ear making goosebumps spread all over my body.  
Within minutes I was on my back on the couch with him on top of me. His vow to not take things too far long gone as he rested his hand on my thigh and pressed himself into me.  
I knew I had to stop it but I let myself feel it all for a few more minutes before I did. When I put my hands on his chest to push him back he smiled down at me.  
“Alright alright” he said as he sat back down on the couch and I couldn’t help but notice him adjusting himself in his pants.  
“I’m over heating”  
“Me to baby” he said and smiled over at me before he looked down at his watch.  
“Fuck. It’s 10 after 9. I should go” and just as he said it the phone rang.  
“Hello?” I answered and Katie immediately started questioning me.  
“He’s leaving now. Yes I promise Katie”  
“Bye Katie” Eric yelled out before he came in for a kiss as I kept the phone to my ear. He let his tongue brush against mine quickly and then he was out the door.  
“Hello?” I heard my sister say but I had completely forgot that I was holding the phone.

The next evening, I had dinner at Eric’s house with his parents before I was to leave the next day.  
“Will you be back during the summer?” his mom asked me.  
“Yes mam. As quick as I can get here”  
“At least you two won’t freeze to death if you get stranded again” his dad said as he glanced at Eric who was red in the face.  
“Oh it would be so nice if you could come for prom” his mom said happily.  
“I’m not going to prom” Eric replied as he shot her a look.  
“I know you said that but I also know if Y/n was going to be here then you would go” she continued, making me feel bad about him missing it.  
“You should go” I said towards Eric.  
“By myself? No thank you”  
“You could take someone as a friend. What was that one girl’s name that is always hanging around?” his dad said not knowing the kind of damage he was doing.  
I tried to hide the freak out that I was internally having.  
“Thanks for that dad” Eric said after he looked over at me and saw what was written all over my face.

The rest of the dinner went by with his parents talking back and forth but me and Eric stayed silent. After dinner he took me down to the basement and immediately started apologizing for his dad.  
“He was talking about that one girl wasn’t he?”  
“Yeah he was. But I told you there is nothing to worry about baby. Please trust me” he said and he looked terrified about how this was going to play out.  
“I will trust you until you give me a reason not to”  
“I won’t do that” he said as he let out a breath and pulled me into a hug.  
“I feel bad that you aren’t going to prom”  
“I don’t want to go to prom Y/n. So stop feeling bad” he let me know but I couldn’t tell if he meant it or not.

The next morning I got up and packed my bag and waited for Eric to come get me. My sister agreed to let him take me to the airport as long as we promised not to jump on a different plane and run away together.   
When he got to the apartment, Katie let him in as I put my shoes on and told Madison bye. He walked over to me with his hands behind his back.  
“I got you something”  
“What did you get me?” I asked as I stood up out of the floor and stepped in front of him.  
He pulled is hands out from behind his back and handed me two big envelopes.  
“The pictures! I forgot about them!”  
“I got double of both cameras. Even though there aren’t very many good ones in there” he said with a laugh.  
“I’m sure I will love every one of them” I let him know.

Minutes later we were at the airport waiting at my gate.  
“No tears this time okay. We know that we will be back together as soon as school is out” he said and it felt like he was saying it more for himself than me.  
“And this time we have the webcams” I replied as I smiled up at him.  
He grabbed me by my waist and pulled me into him. Resting his chin on my shoulder we stood and held each other until the plane started to board.

“Call me as soon as you get home and we will figure out the webcams together”  
“You know I will” I let him know and after one more lingering kiss I boarded the plane to once again put over a thousand miles between us.


	12. Bad Decisions Were Made

The ride home from the airport was a lot better than the last time my parents picked me up. My mom made sure to let me know that we were going straight home before we had ever even gotten inside the car.  
They both seemed very cheerful and it was rubbing off on me. I was still terribly sad about leaving Eric but my parents seemed genuinely happy to see me and that I'm turn made me happy.  
We made it home a little after lunch time and I went straight to my room to put my bag down and call Eric but stopped in my tracks when I saw the desk with a computer on top sitting in the corner of my room.  
"Oh my God!"  
"Merry Christmas Y/n" I heard from behind me and turned to see both of my parents standing there.  
"You got me a frikkin computer!" I yelled out in absolute shock.  
"We did. Thought it may make it easier to talk to Eric" my mom said with a smile.  
"I got your webcam set up and all ready to go for you" my dad let me know as he started the computer up to show me how to work it.  
When I was alone on my room and I picked up my phone and pressed the numbers to call Eric.  
"Hello" I recognized the voice as his dad's and I felt my throat go dry.  
"Hi Mr Harris. Is Eric home?" I asked in the sweetest voice I could find.  
"Eric? I'm not sure I know anyone by that name" he replied and I could hear my frantic boyfriend in the background trying to get the phone away from his dad.  
I laughed out, picturing it all happening in my head.  
The phone went quiet other than what sounded like someone walking and finally his voice came on.  
"Hey baby"   
"Hey" I replied, the sound of his voice making me instantly giddy.  
"I'm glad you made it home safe. I got my webcam all set up so I should be able to walk you through doing your's"  
"No need. My dad did it before I got home. They also got me my own computer for Christmas. It's in my bedroom" I let him know excitedly.  
"That's awesome! Now I don't have to worry about saying something I shouldn't when we talk. Go get online and I'll call you" and he hung up the phone.  
I went and sat in the computer chair and tried my hardest to figure out how to sign on and work the camera but I was failing miserably.  
"Dad!" I yelled out.  
"Need help?" He asked as he walked into my room. I got out of the chair and he took my place and within a minute Eric's face appeared on my screen. I squealed out in happiness causing him and my dad to both laugh at me.  
"Move!" I said to my dad as I pushed on him to get out of my chair.  
"You're welcome. And hi Eric" he said before leaving my room and closing the door.  
"Yeah, hi Eric" I said as I smiled at his face on the screen.  
"Hey baby"   
"Okay but this could get weird. When we run out of things to talk about on the phone you can't stare at me until I come up with something to say" he said with a laugh after several seconds of us just staring at each other.  
"I'm just taking it all in. This is amazing. Thank you so much"  
"I love you Y/n. This makes me as happy as it does you, I promise" he replied.  
"I love you too Eric"  
We talked to each other up until my mom called out for me to come eat dinner but we planned to talk again when he got off work the next day. School wouldn't start back for 3 more days so I would have to come up with something to occupy myself.

The next day I was laying on my bed watching TV when my phone rang.  
"Hey girl, it's Whitney"   
It took me a second to register who I was talking to. I had completely forgotten about her.  
"Hey! What's up?"  
"Nothing at all. Was calling to see if you wanted to go to the mall and have a slumber party or something. I know that sounds lame as fuck but it could be fun" she said making me laugh.  
"Doesn't sound lame at all. But what I'm about to say probably will"   
"Oh come on. Don't say no! This is this 3rd time I've called since you've been gone" she said sounding disappointed.  
"I wasn't going to say no. And I'm cool with going to the mall or something but could we slumber at my house? My boyfriend lives in Colorado and I can't go a day without talking to him" I said, spilling out my confession freely.  
"I'm fine with that!" I can pick you up if you tell me where to go"

She turned 16 right before Christmas and her present was a car. I was pretty excited to have a friend with their license so I didn't have to rely on my parents for everything.  
When she got to my house to pick me up, my mom looked at her approvingly before giving me money for food and telling us to be careful.  
"My mom seems to like you. And she doesn't like any of my friends so that's something" I let Whitney know as she drove us to the mall.  
"That's hilarious. I'm the worst influence ever" she said and she reached into her purse and pulled out a perfectly rolled joint.  
I looked at it with wide eyes. I had never smoked before and I wasn't sure that today was going to be the day either.  
"It's fine if you don't want to. But I'm going to" she told me as she lit it up and inhaled it deeply.  
The car filled with smoke and before I could get the window down I had inhaled just as much of it as she had.  
"I'm pretty sure you just weed raped me" I said and started to laugh hysterically at myself.  
"Oh you are for sure high"

We walked around the mall for a while acting like complete idiots and eventually made it to the food court.  
As we ate our food we people watched and made up ridiculous stories about the people we saw. At one point we were laughing together and I couldn't help but get the overwhelming feeling that I had found a friend. A good one.   
"So tell me about your boyfriend" she said as she wiggled her eyebrows at me and I instantly started talking. I went back to the very beginning of how we met and everything that lead up to now. I even told her about the few times we had alone before I left and she leaned in listening intently.  
"Holy shit. That's intense. Like some movie shit. I wanna go to Colorado and meet my prince charming. No fair" she said making me laugh.  
"Please tell me that you have a picture of him"   
"I have two cameras worth of pictures at home that you can look at. But I swear to God if you say anything about stealing him away then I may smother you with a pillow while you sleep tonight" I said only half way joking.  
"I would never say anything like that Y/n. That's not something friends should joke about"  
"Thank you for saying that" I said and meant it.

We made it back to my house and went straight to my room and I handed her the envelopes of pictures. We sat on my bed together and as we looked through them I told her everything that was happening at the moment the pictures were taken.  
"You guys are cute as shit together. And I want to say something but I don't want you to smother me" she said causing me to shoot her a look.  
"Oh girl I couldn't steal him away even if I wanted to. Look at how he is looking at you" she said as she held one of the pictures up. It was one of them ones that I had taken with both of us in it. I'm looking right at the camera and he has his arms around my waist smiling at me instead of looking where I was.  
"Then what were you gonna say?" I asked cautiously.   
"Look at that jaw line" she said as she pointed at the picture and we both died out in laughter.  
"I know man" I replied and grabbed the picture out of her hand and fell backwards onto my bed. My phone started ringing and my pulse instantly picked up, knowing it could only be him.  
I grabbed the phone as Whitney formed a heart with her fingers making me laugh out loud.  
"What are you laughing at?" Eric asked before I could say hello.  
"My friend is here and we were just talking about you"   
"Oh God, do I want I know?" He asked making me laugh again.  
"Probably not. Actually yeah you probably would like to know but I'm not going to tell you"   
"Can we talk online or would you rather not since you have company? He asked.  
"You are joking right? She came into this knowing that I couldn't survive without talking to you"  
"Then get online woman" he said before hanging up.  
I hung the phone up and looked at Whitney, who was watching me intently.  
"You want to meet Eric?" I asked and she looked at me weirdly.  
I went to my computer and started it up and it didn't take long for Eric's face to pop up on my screen.  
"Hey baby" he said and Whitney practically melted away.  
"Oh my God I feel like I'm watching a movie play out. Can I be in the wedding?" She said as she moved into the view of the camera.  
"I'm Whitney" she said we she waved at him.  
"Hey, I'm Eric"   
"Baby take your hat off. I can barely see your face" I said and he instantly reached up and pulled it off before running his hand through his hair.  
"Jesus" Whitney whispered making me laugh.  
"Baby, Whitney weed raped me earlier"  
"She did what now?" He asked as he moved closer to the camera with a weird look on his face.  
"I was smoking a joint and she may have inhaled more than I did involuntarily" Whitney informed him and I nodded my head in agreement.  
"You got high? Good Lord. Drunk and high for the first time all in a matter of two weeks. I'm gonna have to keep a eye on you or you will be a cocaine addict this time next week" Eric responded causing the two of us to errupt into a fit of laughter.  
He stayed on the screen for hours as we told stories back and forth and by the time we hung up I had the full approval from both of them about each other's relationships to me.

"You are so lucky" Whitney said as we laid opposite each other on my bed.  
"Other than the fact that I only see him twice a year for a few weeks"  
"Shit I would take that over nothing. The only guy I've ever had feelings for used me for what he wanted and then was on to the next" she told me.  
"That's awful Whit. What did he use you for?" I asked, the naive idiot that I am.  
"Sex Y/n. What the hell else would I be talking about"  
"Ohh. Yeah. I don't know much about that" I said and tried to change the subject but she wasn't having that.  
"I bet you guys will do it this summer" she said matter of factly.  
"I don't know about that"  
"Oh I do. You two can't keep your eyes off of each other on that screen so I can only imagine what it's like in person" she replied and she was right about that. I wish I could touch him right now..  
"Come back to me girl" she said, making me realize that I had checked out. I was somewhere in my head making out with Eric.  
"I'm sorry" I replied and I felt my cheeks go red.  
"I miss him so much already. It's going to be a long 5 months" I said sadly.

My parents had planned on going out of toen the next day. I was used to being home alone over night considering it had been happening since I was 13. But after a lot of begging, they agreed to let Whitney stay again.  
My mom ordered us pizza before they left and gave us strick orders not to leave the house. Which didn't pose a issue considering as soon as they were gone we raised the liquor cabinet. I had no idea what I liked to drink other than pucker so Whitney took the job of bartender and served me vodka with the only juice we had in the house. Cherry juicy juice. It wasn't good at all but by the 3rd drink I didn't give a shit anymore. We were both completely wasted when my phone rang and as I ran to my room I realized that I had gotten so drunk that I forgot about Eric for a minute. I laughed to myself but before I answered the phone I tried to steady my voice and sound normal.  
"Hellllur" is what came out when I picked up the phone causing Whitney to spit out her drink.  
"Baby, what are you doing?" Eric asked and I tried once again to be as normal as I could.  
"I'm not doing nothing"   
"That was the most country statement I have ever heard you make. Get on the computer" he said before hanging up.  
"Fuck" I let out as I carefully made my way to the computer chair and plopped down.  
"Do I look drunk?" I asked Whitney who was now on my bed laughing so hard she was wheezing.  
"Yes" she managed to get out just as Eric's face appeared on the screen and I felt my eyes go big.  
"Now, what are you doing Y/n?"   
"Fuck Eric. I'm so drunk right now" I blurted out and immediately saw Dylan's face appear beside Eric's on the screen.  
"Oh God" I said as I out my hands over my face and both boys started to laugh.  
"Hold up. There's two" Whitney said as she squeezed into the computer chair beside me.  
"That's Dylman" I mumbled.  
"That's a weird ass name" she said, looking at me seriously and causing me to fall into the floor laughing.  
"What did you do to my girlfriend" I heard Eric say.  
"Nevermind that. Dylman was it?" She replied causing me to start to hyperventilate again.  
"Would you pull her out of the floor please" Eric said.  
"It's Dylan actually"  
"Hi Dylan. I'm Whitney"  
"Jesus christ do I need to get on a plane and come take care of Y/n?" Eric yelled out. I shot up out of the floor and once I caught my balance I leaned down into the camera.  
"Yes. Fuck yes. Please do that" I begged him and saw his eyebrows shoot up.  
"That was.. uhh"   
"Seductive as hell?" Whitney finished for him as she looked at me with eyes as wide as his.  
"Was it?" I asked only her but of course everyone heard it.  
"I feel like I should leave the room" Dylan laughed out making Whitney agree.  
"I feel like maybe you should to" Eric said as he watched my unsteady movements.  
"Nobody move" I said but the conversation kept going on around me.  
"Shhhh stop talking" I said again.  
"She's gonna puke" I heard Dylan say seconds before I tried to run to the bathroom but managed the hit the wall with my shoulder. I got back on track right on time and made it before I got sick in the floor.  
Whitney came to help me and as soon as I got it all out I felt so much better.  
"You good?" She asked as she helped me out of the floor.  
I nodded my head as I put toothpaste on my toothbrush and went to town on my teeth.  
I made it back into the room and immediately laid down in my bed and covered up.  
"Baby are you okay?" I hear Eric say.  
"No. I need you" I said back, still very much drunk but meaning what I said.  
"I wish I could be there" he said back and within seconds I passed out cold.

The next morning I opened my eyes and my head started pounding instantly. I got up and got some tylenol and got right back in the bed.  
"You okay?" Whitney asked as she stretched beside me.  
"No. I'm dying"   
"No you can't do that. I promised your boyfriend I wouldn't let anything happen to you and he threatened my life if I did. And I kind of believe him" she said making me laugh.  
"No don't make me laugh. My head is going to explode"  
"Go back to sleep. You will feel better when you wake up. I'm gonna head home. I'll call you later okay? Oh and so will Eric. I was supposed to tell you that" she let me know before she grabbed her stuff and left.  
I fell back asleep almost immediately once she was gone.


	13. What's a Good Story Without A Little Drama

The next few weeks were full of me and Whitney getting closer. It became a every Saturday night thing for her to spend the night with me and we would stay up most of the nights talking to Eric and more times than not, Dylan was there to. This particular Saturday was a little different than the others. It was Valentines day. I knew there was no point in making a bid deal out of it since we couldn’t do anything together so I tried my best to play it off like it wasn’t bothering me.  
Me and Whitney were laid across my bed talking nonsense when the phone rang and Eric told me to get online.  
I jumped up and immediately did as I was told and when the face appeared on the screen it wasn’t who I expected at all.  
“Happy Valentines day Y/n” Nate said into the camera as he made kissy faces. He was shoved into the floor by Eric who then appeared on the screen looking irritated.  
“Sorry for my idiot friend”  
“Good lord I need to get to Colorado” Whitney chimed in making me laugh and I could hear Nate in the background, curiously demanding to know who my friend was.  
“That would be Whitney” Dylan informed him before he appeared behind Eric, waving into the camera and the next few minutes were spent with the two friends shoving each other back and forth to try to be in the shot.  
“I just wanted to let you know that we are going to a party tonight so I will be out of reach until I get home. I don’t plan on staying out all night” Eric let me know.  
“Fuck that! We are pulling a all nighter! Fuck Valentines day” Nate yelled out making eric rolls his eyes.  
“Oh, well thanks you letting me know”  
“I wanted to see you to of course” he added with a smirk.  
“I guess I’ll take Whitney on a date then since I can’t see you”  
“A date? Oh hell yes” Whitney said enthusiastically.  
“Well you two have fun. I’ll call you when I get home”  
And with that he was gone. I would not let myself get upset about it. There was no reason for it. I knew if we could be together then we would but it wasn’t a option so I might as well make the best out of the night.  
We got ready and after begging my mom for some money we headed out the door.  
“I guess I’m driving even though you are taking me on a date” Whitney laughed out.  
We went to our favorite Mexican restaurant and ordered a large cheese dip and split some shredded chicken nachos.  
“I can’t wait until I’m old enough for one of those big ass margaritas” she said as we watched the waiter bring a tray full to the table next to us.  
“We will plan on doing just that as soon as we turn 21”  
“It’s a date!” she said happily.

We ended up going to the movie store and renting a few movies and heading back to my house to finish out the night.  
I tried not to think about what Eric was up to. I trusted him whole heartedly but the thoughts would not get out of my head.  
“You worry too much Y/n. I’m sure he will call anytime now. He said he wasn’t going to stay out late and it’s already 10:30” Whitney said, trying to make me feel better and I knew she was right.  
After we were sure that my parents were asleep, we tip toed through the house and out the backdoor to the screened in porch. It was pitch black outside so even if one of my parents got up it wasn’t likely that they would see us out here.  
Whitney fired up the joint she had brought and we took turns passing it back and forth. I had become a fan of the feeling it gave me and over the weeks had built up a pretty nice tolerance to it as well.  
“Feeling better now?” she whispered after I passed it back to her for the final time.  
“I really do. Thanks for that”  
“I don’t know about you, but this shit went right to my head. I feel like I could sleep for a week”  
I nodded my head in agreement and we quietly made our way back to my room. I glanced at the clock on my night stand and saw that it was now after midnight.  
“I hope Eric is okay” I let myself say out loud.  
“I’m sure he is fine. He is just hanging out with his friends like you are” she replied as she snuggled up in my bed and was asleep within minutes.  
I laid down on the opposite side and faced my night stand that had the picture of me and Eric asleep on my sisters couch and also my phone. I stared between the two for what seemed like hours before I finally drifted off.  
I was startled awake by the sound of my phone ringing and instinctively slapped at it, knocking it down into the floor. I scrambled in the dark, feeling around for it in the floor and when I finally found it I put it to my ear.  
“Hello” I grumbled out, still mostly asleep.  
“Baby” I heard his voice and knew something was wrong just by the way he said the word.  
I opened my eyes wider and looked at the clock.  
“Eric it’s after 3. What the fuck”  
“Baby, I need you to go sign on the computer” he said in the same tone of voice.  
“I’m sleeping Eric. We can talk tomorrow”  
“Y/n this can’t wait. Please go sign on so I can talk to you face to face”  
“Just tell me whatever it is now Eric”  
“Y/n I fucked up”  
When it left his mouth my heart dropped to my ass and I hung the phone up and raced over to my computer. I signed on and waited for him to appear for what seemed like forever.  
“I need you to listen to me baby. Please don’t sign off without listening to me”  
I just stared at his face on the screen and I knew whatever he was about to say was going to destroy us. His face said it all.  
“Start talking” I said, and I put my hands under my legs trying to stop my body from shaking.  
“We went to this party. I didn’t want to drink and wasn’t going to but Dylan and Nate wouldn’t stop forcing it on me so I ended up giving in. I didn’t mean to drink as much as I did but I ended up pretty damn drunk. To the point that I don’t really remember too much up until two hours ago”  
He stopped talking for a minute as my mind raced and finally I couldn’t take it anymore.  
“What did you do?”  
“Like I said, I don’t remember much of it. But when I started to come to, I was laid down on a bed and... I thought it was you. Or that I was dreaming” as he said it, I felt my blood literally stop flowing in my veins. I was frozen in time and all I could do was stare at him as he stared back looking like he was going to throw up.  
“What exactly are you telling me right now Eric”  
“All we did was kiss. I know that for sure” he finally said, after thinking back on it for a minute and then I was the one who was going to be sick.  
“Let me fucking guess. The one I’m not supposed to be worried about right!?” I screamed out after it had all sank in.  
“Baby please”  
“Nope. Nu uh” I said with a laugh. I was too angry at the moment to cry so laughter was how I was coping.  
“Y/n what’s going on?” Whitney asked from my bed.  
“He cheated on me. I’ve been telling you all night that something didn’t feel right and you told me to stop worrying” I let her know without taking my eyes off of the screen.  
“Oh shit” she let out in response as she moved towards the end of the bed to get closer to me.  
“Y/n please. We have to talk about this”  
“No the hell we don’t. Happy Valentines day Eric” I said before I disconnected the call.  
I sat still frozen in the computer chair as Whitney sat behind me on the bed not knowing what to say to make any of this better. When I finally let myself feel it all I stood up from the chair and started pacing my room.  
“Hey girl, come sit down and tell me what happened” she said but the thought of saying the words out loud made me see red and before I knew what I was doing I had put my fist clean through my bedroom wall.  
“Y/n!” Whitney yelled out as she ran towards me and grabbed my bleeding hand.  
I couldn’t form words as I stared off into space. Now completely numb.  
When the phone started ringing I barely even registered it in my head. It would ring and ring and then stop and start again. After the 6th time Whitney picked it up.  
“She’s for sure not going to talk to you right now”  
“No Eric she’s not fucking okay. I’m pretty sure she just broke her damn hand”  
“No”  
“No I’m not telling her that. She doesn’t want to hear it right now”  
“Fine. Y/n he says that he loves you and he is so sorry”  
That broke me. All the emotions happened at once. I let out a laugh before I screamed out “FUCK HIM” and then the sobs that started to come out were shaking my whole body.  
“See. She doesn’t want to hear that shit right now”  
“Okay. I’ll do that but it’s her house so if she says no then that’s the end of it” and with that she hung up the phone and walked back over to me.  
“I’m gonna sign on the computer okay? He wants Dylan to tell you what happened so you don’t have to talk to him”  
I shooked my head violently from side to side, not wanting to hear anymore of it.  
“Then I will talk to Dylan. Okay?”  
She signed on and I went to my bed and pulled the covers over my head so I could block out all of it that I could.  
“She’s not okay with this. Like I knew she wouldn’t be. Eric what the hell is wrong with you? Do you have any idea what you just did to her?” Whitney said causing me to start crying out loudly again. I couldn’t stop it as the sounds came out of my mouth. She left the chair and came over to me and rubbed my back through the blanket as my sounds went from very vocal so non existent because I was crying so hard.  
“Y/n can you please listen to me? This is not his fault. You know Eric would never do anything to hurt you” Dylan’s voice came over the speakers.  
“But he did just that didn’t he?” I got out between my cries of agony.  
“Dude this isn’t gonna work. She doesn’t want to hear it”  
“Baby please talk to me” I heard Eric say and his voice sounded just as bad as mine.  
“No” is all I said before Whitney walked back to my computer.  
“Sorry guys” she said before she signed off and came back to my side. She laid beside me and wrapped her arm around my waist as I cried into my pillow.  
When the sun came up I managed to get up and go to the bathroom. I looked down at my hand and it was twice the size it was supposed to be. I took a long shower and wrapped myself in my bath robe and when I got back to my room, Whitney was relocating one of my band posters on my wall to cover the hole I had created hours earlier.  
“Thank you” I said with a hoarse voice.  
“Of course girl. We are gonna have to come up with a story of what happened to your hand though because you for sure need a doctor. There’s no way it’s not broke”  
“No. I’ll tell my mom the truth” I let her know just as my bedroom door opened.  
“The truth about what?” my mom asked as she walked into my room.  
I filled her in on everything and she looked at me sympathetically until I moved the poster and showed her the wall.  
“Your dad is going to kill you” she said before she grabbed my wrist to look at my hand.  
“Well get dressed. We need to go get this looked at”  
Whitney left and headed home after I promised to call her when we left the ER and me and my mom headed to the hospital.

4 hours and a million tears later I was back home in my bed with a cast up to my elbow and thoroughly doped up on pain killers.  
When my phone rang I didn’t even think about the fact that it could be Eric, so I answered it.  
“Please don’t hang up”  
“Oh god. I can’t do this. I’m extremely fucked up right now and I don’t have anymore tears left in my body Eric”  
“Fucked up?” he said back sounding worried.  
“Yes Eric. I put my fist through a wall in the middle of the night and now my whole hand is broken so I’m on some pretty strong pain Killers and I’m sporting a pretty ass cast for the next 6 weeks. Now leave me the fuck alone”  
“Y/n I’m so sorry” but I hung up the phone before he could finish. I drifted in and out of sleep for the rest of the day. Everytime I would get into a deep sleep my phone would ring so eventually I jerked it out of the wall.  
Sometime that evening I was woken up by someone sitting down on the edge of my bed. I opened my eyes and saw Whitney smiling down at me with a box full of tacos from taco bell and a dozen chocolate covered donuts.  
“I tried to call a million times but it kept giving me the busy tone so I did what any good friend would do and went and got comfort food”  
“I also brought my sharpie collection so I can decorate your cast” she said as she pulled the plastic box out of her bag and shook it at me.  
“I love you” I replied as I sat up and reached for a taco with my good hand.  
“I know”  
“Everything hurts so much” I let her know as I attempted to eat the taco one handed.  
“I broke my arm when I was in 6th grade. It only hurts for a few days once you get the cast on”  
“How long will the rest of me hurt? Like my heart” I asked letting her know that I wasn’t referring to my hand.  
“That I do not have an answer for”  
“You know you should hear him out. Maybe not right now, but eventually. It might give you some closure” she told me, and the word closure seemed so final. The thought of our relationship being over sent me back into spiral mode and she took notice to my change.  
“I’m sorry girl. Want me to go beat his ass? The way you punched that wall though, you could probably do more damage than me” she said, trying to make me laugh.  
“I just don’t know why it had to happen”  
“Maybe that’s another reason you should hear him out” she said and without permission she walked around and plugged my phone back in and we both started to laugh when it immediately started ringing.  
“Do you have like a signal that goes off when she plugs her phone back in or something?” she asked into the phone.  
“Yes I’m back again. Someone has to take care of her”  
“I don’t know. Let’s see” she said before she tried to hand me the phone and I moved away from it like it was on fire.  
“I’m gonna say that’s a no”  
“Okay then tell me” she said as she got comfortable on the pillows on my bed.  
All I could hear was her side of the conversation of course but I could tell by the way she kept looking over at me that he was telling her what had happened. Even though I didn’t think I was ready to hear it, it almost made me feel better to know that she would know.

“ So you really don’t remember shit besides that last part huh? What the hell were you drinking? I’ve never gotten that damn drunk”  
“I mean if Dylan and Nate are telling the truth then it seems like you tried to dodge her advances. But where did it go wrong is what I need to know” and when she said that I knew I had to hear everything. I needed to know.  
“Tell me” I said, speaking for the first time since she had answered the phone.  
“Him or me?” she asked as she looked over at me.  
“Not him for sure” I said and took the phone away from her and hung it up.  
When it immediately started to ring again I pulled the cord back out of the wall.

“So here’s what I gathered. He got way too drunk very unintentionally and as soon as he did the girl came over acting all innocent and then it quickly turned to flirting. He said he told her several times to back off but she wasn’t having it. He even said he pushed her away from him at one point when she came over and tried to hang onto him” this made my blood boil and I stood up and started to pace my room again.  
“Please remember that you only have one good hand left Y/n” she said before she continued.  
“According to what Dylan and Nate told him, he was so wasted that he couldn’t even hold himself up. Dylan took him to the bathroom and he puked. A lot. And then he took him into a bedroom to lay down until they got ready to go. Dylan said he didn’t think to check on him for the next hour or so and when Eric came out of the bedroom frantically asking him to take him home he knew what had happened because the girl came out right behind him smiling from ear to ear” she stopped talking, letting me register everything that she had just told me but I didn’t feel any better about any of it. There’s no way I could ever get drunk enough to let someone kiss me that wasn’t him.  
“I want to talk to Dylan” I finally said.  
“Call him then”  
“I don’t have his number”  
“I do but it’s at home. Stop looking at me like that. That’s a story for a different day” she said, and I saw my friend blush for the first time ever.  
“Call Eric and get it please” I begged her and she reluctantly agreed.

A few minutes later I was using one of Eric’s calling cards to call Dylan. He told me the same thing that Whitney had just told me. I sat silently for a few minutes before Dylan started trying to convince me to talk to Eric.  
“He is all tore up Y/n. He won’t stop worrying about you and I feel so bad. I know it’s my fault. If I hadn’t forced him to drink then it wouldn’t have happened”  
“Dylan I need another favor” I said interrupting him.  
“Anything I can do to help I will”  
“I want to talk to her” I said causing Whitney to shoot me a look and Dylan started to fumble over his words.  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea at all Y/n”  
“If he has nothing to hide then I don’t see why it’s a bad one” I replied.  
A few minutes later he gave me her AIM name and we ended the call.


	14. Stupid Me

With Whitney right over my shoulder watching intently I typed in her username and sent the first message.

Y/n: This is Y/n. Can I ask you a few questions please?  
IceAngel96: sure.  
Y/n: Can you tell me how you and Eric ended up in a bedroom together?  
IceAngel96: I guess..  
IceAngel96: He came out of the room when I was coming out of the bathroom and when he went back in I followed him. It was obvious that he was okay with it. He even kissed me first.   
Y/n: How did the kissing even come about though?  
IceAngel96: We talked for a few minutes about how you weren’t here and you guys probably wouldn’t last much longer anyways. And he kissed me. We made out for a while until he freaked out and ran away. I guess I was too much for him. Good luck with all that =)

I felt sick to my stomach as I read the message.  
“So that’s why Dylan didn’t want you to talk to her. But if he knew she was going to tell you that, that means that he knew about it already. Which means that Eric is lying about not remembering it” Whitney said, verifying everything that I was already thinking.  
“Pull the phone over here for me please”  
She did as I asked and I grabbed another calling card from beside my computer and dialed Eric’s number.  
“Hello” he said into the phone sounding absolutely tragic but I didn’t care.  
“He kissed me first and then we made out for a while” I said into the phone. He went silent. I couldn’t even hear him breathing.  
“Anything else you want to tell me that you have lied about? Eric please tell me again how I should trust you and how you would never do anything to hurt me. I’m dying to hear all the lies again”  
“I don’t know what you want me to say Y/n. I fucked up. I told you I did. I know I did. How can I fix this? Please give me a chance to fix it” he said with a shakey voice.  
I hung up the phone. There was nothing else to say at this point.

Later that week I came home from school and found a package on my bed. I opened it and winced when I saw what was inside. I had completely forgotten about ordering Eric’s birthday stuff. I pulled out the hat and tshirt and held them both up to look at them before I shoved them back inside the box and threw it in my closet.   
He called me a few times over the next few weeks and I gave in. I would sit and listen to him apologize and beg for forgiveness until I couldn’t take it anymore and I would hang up. I had to give him credit for still calling back. Until he didn’t anymore. He just stopped.

One Saturday night at the beginning of April, Whitney came over as usual and after some chit chat she nervously asked if she could use my computer.  
“You know I don’t care” I let her know.  
“More specifically, your webcam” she said with a nervous look on her face.  
“I mean, I guess”  
She went to the computer and a few minutes later Nate appeared on the screen.  
“Are you for real right now?” I asked as she smiled at me over her shoulder.  
“Don’t judge me”  
The two of them talked for a while before he finally acknowledged me.  
“How are you Y/n?”  
“Fucking peachy” I replied as I laid across my bed flipping through a magazine.  
“She gets her cast off Monday and we are gonna get drunk to celebrate next weekend” Whitney told him and I held my casted arm up in the air and waved it around in fake excitement.  
“That’s cool. We are gonna celebrate Eric’s birthday next Saturday” he said and then slapped his hand onto his forehead when he realized what he had said.  
“Sorry Y/n”  
“I don’t give a shit” I replied as my heart beat rapidly in my chest.  
“You guys should video me once you are good and drunk. We are all crashing here but I can kick Eric out long enough to make fun of you two” he said trying to save himself but only making it worse.  
“That’s not going to happen” I let him know without taking my eyes off of the magazine.

The next Saturday rolled around and once my parents took off on their monthly over night trip, Whitney showed up with a big box full of zimas and a bag of jolly ranchers.  
“What the hell is that” I asked as she pushed past me and walked into the kitchen. She pulled each of us a bottle out and put the rest in the fridge before she handed me mine.  
“Drop a jolly rancher in there and wait 5 minutes. Trust me on this”  
I did as I was told and dropped in a green apple one. After 5 minutes we knocked the bottles together and said cheers before we threw them back.  
“Oh wow”  
“I told you” she said as we made our way out onto the back porch. It was now warm during the days for the most part and when she came over this was our favorite place to hangout.  
We took turns going and getting each other another drink and as the sun was starting to go down, we both acknowledged that we were pretty drunk and that it was getting cold outside. We retreated to my bedroom and she instantly sat down in my computer chair.  
“I knew that was coming” I let her know as she grinned at me and signed on. The screen stayed blank for a long time before Nate finally appeared. Just as I was changing shirts in the background.  
“I didn’t expect to see a strip show tonight” he said with a loud laugh, obviously as drunk as we were.  
“Y/n he can see you” Whitney laughed out and I turned around wearing only my pajama pants and bra.  
“Let him watch. I’m too drunk to care”   
“No dude I said you can’t let them know you are here” Nate said and I could see him trying to hold someone away from the camera.  
“Fuck it. Let whoever that is watch to”  
“Okay then. Eric you heard her”  
I quickly pulled my shirt on and moved out of view of the camera. Completely mortified that I hadn’t even considered that it could be him.  
“See what you did. You scared her away” Nate said in a huff.  
“Happy Birthday Eric” Whitney said and her words stung a little but I stayed out of the view of the camera and went to the kitchen to get more alcohol for the two of us.  
When I came back I could see Eric sitting beside Nate as him and Whitney talked to each other. I accidentally came into view when I handed her the drink and I watched Eric’s eyes follow my every movement.  
“Did you color your hair!?” Eric said, causing me to move away again.  
“That’s what us girls do when we go through a traumatic experience Eric” Whitney said with a snarky hint to her voice.  
“Bright ass red though!?” he asked and I rolled my eyes as I sat down on my bed. Fully in view. I didn’t care anymore.  
“Bright. Ass. Red” I said exaggerating the words before I put the bottle to my lips and chugged it down.  
“It actually looks good now that I can see it better”  
“Not that I asked for your opinion or anything. But thanks” I replied. I tried my best to put on a tough exterior because if I didn’t I knew I would melt. I hadn’t spoken to him in weeks. Hadn’t seen his face in longer than that. I had put all of our pictures inside a shoe box and tucked them away in the back of my closet next to his birthday present and tshirt he had sent the first time I came home. I personally wanted to set it all on fire but my mom told me that I would regret it someday so I hid it all away. Out of sight, out of mind. If only.  
As the night went on, we finished off the box of drinks and were both well beyond drunk. The webcam stayed on as the boys continued their party in Nate’s room and we continued ours in mine. Everytime I glanced at the screen Eric was there. I would catch him looking at me and he would turn away immediately. As I watched him it hit me that I wanted to hurt him. Like really hurt him. Not physically but emotionally. If I had been sober, the rational me would have shut down the thought but drunk me was all for it.  
We locked eyes on the screen and after a second my mouth started moving before my brain could tell it to shut up.  
“What’s everyones summer plans?I”  
Eric glared at me, waiting to see where I was going with this. And I couldn’t wait to see his face when we made it to that point.  
“Not much for me. Just hanging out as always” Nate was the first to respond.  
“I’ll be stuck here all alone while my best friend travels across the united states to babysit all summer” Whitney said dramatically, but I knew she really was upset about it.  
“You are still coming here?” Eric asked. His mouth was still neutral but his eyes shot up when he heard it.  
I chose to ignore him.  
“I’ll have to find something to do all summer while I’m there. Nate, maybe we could hang out. I’m sure you could help me find something to do to not be bored” I said as I rested my hand on my chin and smiled sweetly at the camera.  
“I’m sure we could arrange that” Nate replied causing Eric to flip the hell out.  
“Are you fucking kidding me right now? Why would you agree to that dude? Y/n what the fuck?” he yelled out as he pushed his chair away and left the screen.  
I had to work really hard not to laugh and break character. It went just as planned.  
“Dude she was just trying to piss you off” Nate said, Whitney sat looking mortified.  
“I can’t believe you just did that”  
“I wasn’t joking at all. Or maybe you have another friend that would want some company for a few months. Nothing serious or anything. I’m done with all that” I continued on as Nate’s eyes grew huge and Eric stormed out of the room.  
“If you were trying to get a reaction then you definitely succeeded in that. If he breaks something I’m sending you the bill. Punk” Nate laughed out before he disappeared from the camera. I’m assuming to go try to calm him raging friend.  
He returned a few minutes later looking less than amused and dragging Eric with him.  
“Now. I’ve had enough of this shit. You two need to say your sorry to each other and either get back together or move on”  
“I don’t have anything to be sorry for” I said while shrugging my shoulders.  
“Sorry isn’t good enough for her apparently” Eric responded.  
“So you can just say you are sorry and I’m supposed to pretend like you didn’t make out with the one person you told me I didn’t need to worry about? Sure. Okay. You are forgiven Eric”  
“Wait really?” he said as he lifted his head to look at me with hopeful eyes.  
“Yep. Now move on” I finished and reached up, flipping the switch to cut my computer off.  
“Hey I wasn’t done talking” Whitney whined out.  
“Do what you want. I’m going to sleep”

The last few weeks of school flew by and I tried many times to convince my mom to not make me go to my sisters.  
“This was your idea to begin with Y/n. Now she is relying on you to keep Madison so she won’t have to pay a sitter for a few months. Just because you and Eric broke up doesn’t mean you can go back on your agreement with Katie”  
I got the same speech everytime I asked so I eventually stopped asking and accepted my fate.  
It pissed me off even more because my birthday had just passed and I finally had my license but I wouldn’t get to drive all summer. There was no way my sister would let me take her car in a busy area like Denver.

Whitney road with my mom to take me to the airport and cried like she would never see me again as I was getting on the plane.  
When I arrived in Denver, Katie was waiting for me at the gate and once we were in the car I filled her in on everything that had happened between me and Eric.  
“I remember the first time my heart got broken. It will get better eventually. Maybe you guys could meet up and talk it out now that you are here”  
“No” I said as I shook my head.  
“I’m scared if I see him in person that I’ll end up forgiving him”  
“Maybe that’s what you really want then” she said as she smiled over at me.  
“And then he does something like this again and I’m right back to being a sad, pissed off idiot. No thanks”

She had moved earlier in the spring to a house with more space which meant I had my own room for the summer. It only had a closet and an air mattress in it but it beat sleeping on the couch any day.  
After I put my stuff away I kept myself busy by playing with Madison who was now almost two years old. She babbled at me constantly but I couldn't make out anything she was trying to say so I made a game of guessing and it turned into a whole thing.   
My first week there, the toddler became my new best friend. I would take her to a nearby park daily before her nap time. It was only a few blocks away and with her in the stroller it became one of my favorite things to do. One particular day I we were headed back to the house and I was playing the game of trying to figure out what she was saying to me when a car passed by and then stopped and reversed back to me.  
“Y/n? Oh my gosh honey I didn’t know you were back!” it was Eric’s mom. She had parked her car on the side of the road and pulled me into a hug before I could ever register what was happening.  
“Does Eric know you are here? He hasn’t said anything about it” she said as she smiled at me.  
“No. I haven’t talked to him”  
“What do you mean you haven’t talked to him?” she asked as she looked at me in confusion.  
He didn’t tell her. She has no idea that we broke up.  
“Maybe you should talk to him about that” I said, not knowing what I should say.  
“You should come over for dinner one night this week. I would love to catch up with you” she continued on like everything was normal.  
“We’ll see. I need to get this kid home for nap time” I let her know awkwardly as I started back down the sidewalk.

I made it to the house a few minutes later and cleaned Madison up and laid her down.  
I was on the couch watching TV when the phone rang and I jumped up trying to silence it before it woke the kid up.  
“Hello?”  
“Y/n, this is Kathy. Eric’s mom. I’m so sorry honey. He didn’t tell me anything and now I feel so stupid. I wish you would have told me”   
“It’s no big deal” I said back.  
“It absolutely is. I apologize for what he did. I don’t blame you at all for not wanting anything to do with him but also as his mother I feel like I should ask you to please consider seeing him while you are here. He was very upset when he told me about everything and now that I look back at the past couple of months I can see that he hasn’t been the same. He knows that he messed up”  
“I’ll think about it” I let her know before we ended the call.

I went to my room for the summer and opened my bag and pulled out the shirt and hat I had gotten him. I had thrown it in at the last minute just in case for some reason I decided to see him. I still wasn’t sure I would, but I did want to give them to him.  
When my sister came in from work I asked her to take me to the store to get a bag to put in it and run me by his house so I could leave it on the porch. I was shocked when she threw me her keys and told me to be careful.  
I found the store with no problem and without getting into too much traffic. Once I had the bag I folded the shirt and put the hat on top of it and put them inside the bag. I decided not to write my name on the tag. He would know.  
It took me a few minutes to remember exactly how to get to his house but when I finally pulled onto the street I spotted it instantly.  
I didn’t see his car around and I sighed in relief as I pulled in. What I didn’t notice was his mom working in the flower bed out front until I was already out of the car and walking up to the porch.  
“Y/n! It’s so good to see you” she said as she pulled her gloves off and hugged me tightly.  
“I just wanted to drop this off for Eric. I ordered it months ago for his birthday and after everything happened I didn’t mail it off” I said as I tried to hand her the bag but she wouldn’t take it.  
“He will be home from work any minute now. Why don’t you wait and give it to him yourself”  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea” I said as I shook my head and tried to force the bag at her but she just shook her head and smiled at me.  
“There he is now” she said and my whole body went frigid. I didn’t take my eyes off of her as I heard the car door close and him approach from behind.  
“Please take it” I said in almost a whisper as I continued holding the bag out to her and she slowly started to frown.  
“Okay sweety” she replied as she finally took the bag from my hand. I turned to quickly make my exit but there he was. Right in my face.  
“Hey” he said, looking at me nervously.  
“Hi” I forced out past the lump in my throat.  
We both stood looking at each other for several minutes before his mom cleared her throat and passed him the bag.  
“Y/n brought you this”  
“It was supposed to be for your birthday but.. well you know” I said as I let my eyes fall to the ground.  
“Yeah” he said as he took the bag from his mom and pulled the shirt and hat out.  
“Oh wow. Thanks Y/n” he said with a smile that tore my heart to shreds.  
When he put them back in the bag and tried to hug me I moved away.  
“I can’t do this” I said and as I quickly walked back to the car the tears I had been holding back since I laid my eyes on him again finally started to spill out.  
I got in and tried to close the door but he grabbed it, stopping it from closing.  
“Can we please talk” he asked, and I watched his mom go inside the house carrying the bag in her hand.  
I sat staring at the steering wheel as my tears freely fell from my cheeks.  
“Y/n I don’t want to lose you. This shit has been awful. Can we please at least be friends? Or start over? I will take anything at this point” he said as he kneeled down beside the car and looked up at me.  
“This hurts too much Eric”  
“I’m hurting to. I know I caused it all. I can tell you that I’m sorry a million more times but if you wont give me the chance to prove it then it wont do any good. Please just give me a chance to prove how much I love you. And how sorry I am” he said as he reached out to take my hand and as soon as his skin touched mine I jerked my hand away.  
“Don’t do that” I said, still not willing to look at him.  
“I get that”  
“I’ll think about it okay” I let him know, hoping that he would accept that answer and let me get out of this situation.  
“You have my number” he replied before standing up and I made the mistake of looking up at him.  
“God. Seeing you this sad is killing me”  
“This is what I’ve looked like since February. Not sure how to change it” I replied, not able to take my eyes away from his now that they landed there.  
“I will try my best to change it if you will let me”   
He kneeled back down beside the car since I hadn’t made an effort to crank it or close my door yet.  
“It’s so good to see you in person again. Or at all for that matter. I miss you so much Y/n” he said and I don’t think he was realizing that he was doing it when he reached for my hand again but this time I didn’t move. I wanted to see how it would feel to hold his hand again. When I laced my fingers in his, his eyes shot to mine and a smile slowly appeared on his lips.   
I couldn’t stop my own small one from appearing and he pulled on my hand, right out of the car and into his arms. He wrapped them around me tightly and rested his chin on my shoulder and as I breathed him in I wasn’t sure how to react.  
“I’ve wanted you back in my arms for so long”  
“No” I said as I pulled away from him.  
“This is why I didn’t want to see you. I knew you would be able to pull me right back in and I can’t go through that shit again Eric. You broke me” I said as the tears started to flow again and I got back inside the car and closed the door.   
“Please don’t leave” he yelled out as I backed out of the driveway and made my way back to Katie’s house.


	15. Love to Hate You, Hate to Love You

The following weekend I spent my time moping around the house. My sister took notice of my one word answers and all around shit mood and came up with a plan to pull me out of it. As the plan got set in stone, I continued in my zombie like state, oblivious to what she had going on.  
That Wednesday I had just put Madison down for her nap when I heard the front door open. It scared me because I knew that I had locked it and nobody should have been home for hours. I hesitantly walked down the hallway and into the living room where I saw my sister standing there looking at me.  
“If you scream and wake my baby up then I will take her right back to the airport” Katie said as Whitney stepped into view and I squealed like a pig.  
We ran at each other and collided in the middle of the hallway, falling down onto the ground without letting go of each other.  
“Shut the hell up!” Katie whisper yelled.  
We got ourselves up and made it into the living room before I started shooting off questions.  
“How the hell are you here right now?”  
“Your sister arranged it. She convinced my parents somehow and I had almost enough money saved up from birthdays and Christmas to buy my ticket. Someone generously donated the rest” she said with a huge smile on her face.  
“Nate?”  
“Mhmm” she let out causing me to shake my head.  
“Oh shit. I can’t believe you are here right now! How long are you staying?”  
“Until either my parents say I have to come back or your sister gets sick of me eating all her food” she said as she gave my sister puppy dog eyes.  
“You finally get a female best friend and you pick this one?” Katie replied, picking at Whitney.  
“I took off the rest of the week. I had some vacation time saved up so it’s no big deal. You guys have fun” Katie said before she went into Madison’s room to lay down and nap with her.  
“Obviously the first thing we have to do it go see Nate. Considering he paid $28 on my ticket. Plus, I’m pretty excited to meet him in person!” she said as I lead her to my room to put her stuff down.  
“I’m okay with that. As long as Eric isn’t around”  
“Don’t tell me you haven’t talked to him yet” she replied as she changed clothes.  
“Oh I have. It didn’t go so well on my part though”  
I filled her in on how to interaction went down as she looked at me with a raised eyebrow.  
“You know what I’m gonna say so I don’t think there’s any point in my saying it”  
“Yeah I know. Everybody wants me to give him another chance. But what happens if I do and he does something else again?” I asked.  
“But what if you don’t give him another chance and he really meant that he would never hurt you like that again. You lose either way”

A little while later we were sitting on Katie’s front porch waiting for Nate to come and pick us up.  
“Do you have any idea how nervous this makes me. If something happens I can’t remove myself from the situation if I’m riding with someone else”  
“But I’m here now so there won’t be a situation that you need to get out of. If we happen to run into Eric I can referee”  
The way she said if made my heart drop. This all felt like a set up and I didn’t know if I even wanted to get in the car once Nate finally pulled up.  
I reluctantly did and sat in the backseat quietly as the two of them finally met in person. As I listened to them talk I decided that they really did seem like a good match. But also in the back of my mind I was silently freaking out about where we were going and who we were going to see.  
I recognized the driveway and house as soon as we started the long journey up to it.  
“Why are we at Dylan’s house?” I asked from between the two front seats.  
“Party”  
“Hold on. I didn’t agree to this” I replied to Nate frantically fighting for breath.  
“Eric isn’t here. Calm down” he let me know.  
We all got out and walked up to the door and Nate opened it and walked right in.  
“Look who has returned!” Dylan said as he approached me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders like we had been friends for years.  
“She’s nervous” Whitney let him know as she made herself comfortable beside Nate at the counter in the kitchen.  
“Relax. He is a work” Dylan said as he ushered me over to the counter.  
“You know that for sure?”  
“Well yeah. We work together and all” he informed me.  
“I didn’t know that”  
“Yeah he switched jobs a few weeks ago and then got me on with him”  
“I didn’t know that either” I said as I took at seat at the counter.  
“So what are we drinking tonight?” Dylan asked me as he pulled bottles out of a bag and lined them up on the counter.  
“I don’t know if I should drink”  
“Oh you are so drinking with me! So pick or I’ll pick for you” Whitney chimed in.  
“Then pick for me”  
She grabbed a cup and started pouring different stuff in it and then handed it to me. I took a small sip and realized that it was pretty good and before long she was making me another one.  
The four of us moved into the back yard and sat around a table with an umbrella over it.  
“This doesn’t seem like much of a party. Where’s all the other people?” I asked.  
“I didn’t invite anyone else. Seemed like we could have enough fun with just us” Dylan said as he picked up my once again empty cup and carried it inside to fill it back up.  
When he sat it down in front of me and I saw them all smile at each other my suspicions set back in.  
“Are ya’ll trying to get me drunk?”  
“Well yeah but we are all trying to get drunk” Nate replied with a laugh.  
“Taste that one and see if you like it” Dylan said while pointing at my cup.  
“This is a fucking set up isn’t it. You mother fuckers” I said but before I could start to fully panic Whitney died out in laughter.  
“Just drink your drink and stop worrying. Everything will be fine. I’m here remember?”  
“At least tell me when he is coming so I won’t be caught off guard. Fucking assholes” I said to them, but I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. The alcohol had taken over and I was no longer responsible for any of my actions.  
“I’m not saying shit” Nate replied.  
“I can’t believe I fell for this. I’m never getting in the car with you again” I said as I pointed at Nate.  
“I guess Eric can take you home then” he replied and stuck his tongue out at me.  
“Well god damn” Whitney laughed out.  
We carried on with our back and forth for a while and before long I pushed my cup away and decided if I didn’t stop now then I was going to get sick.

Nate reached inside his cigarette pack and pulled out a joint and Whitney started practically foaming at the mouth.  
It was lit and passed around and when it got to me, I took a long drag before I held it out to whoever wanted it.  
“I’ll take it” I heard him say from behind me and I squeezed my eyes shut knowing that this could only go one of two ways. Really bad or really fucking good.  
He took it out of my hand and sat down beside me, but I refused to open my eyes and look at him.  
“You are gonna pass out if you sit there with your eyes closed for too much longer” Dylan laughed out.  
“Don’t talk to me. Pretend I’m not even here”  
“Okay then. Apparently Y/n goes invisible when she gets fucked up now” Nate chimed in causing a roar of laughter around me.  
“I can’t believe that I trusted any of you”  
“There’s no way that you are pissed off. You are smiling Y/n” I heard Dylan say.  
“Well to be fair, she was smiling seconds before she put her fist through her bedroom wall to” Whitney said.  
“On that note, I need a refill” Dylan replied and got up and went inside the house.  
“Me to” Nate said and followed him in.  
My eyes flew open and I glared at Whitney who was smiling at me innocently.  
“Don’t you dare”  
“I loooove you” she sang out before she to, left me.

“I really know how to pick friends. And boyfriends I guess” I said as my eyes finally met his.  
“Don’t be mad at them. I knew this was the only way that I could get you to see me”  
“By getting your friends to get me drunk first?” I asked and picked my cup back up to finish off what was left.  
“Pretty much, yeah. You want some more?” he said with a big smile on his face.  
“Let’s just get this over with Eric”  
“You’ve already heard everything I needed to say to you. The ball is in your court now. There’s no sense in me sitting here and promising you the world, even though I would. You won’t believe me. So all I really want is for you to give me a chance to earn your trust back”  
“You told her we wouldn’t be together much longer. You know she told me that right? I just don’t understand why, if you were going to tell me about it anyways why didn’t you just go ahead and tell me everything all at once”  
“Because I was so scared to lose you. I was drunk Y/n. I didn’t mean anything that I said to her”  
“But how do I know that as soon as I’m gone, you won’t get drunk and do it all again” I asked as I watched his face for signs of a lie.  
“You don’t know that. All I can do is say that I wont. If you choose to believe me then that’s fucking great. If not, then I will just have to prove it to you. If you decide that you still love me that is”  
“I never stopped loving you. Even when I hated you, I still loved you” I let him know.  
“Then what the hell are we doing right now. If I love you and you love me then we are just wasting what time we have together”  
I gave myself a minute to think about how I wanted to respond. I watched as his eyes searched my face, looking for an answer.  
“We have to take things slow” I finally said, and he let his head fall back in relief.  
“As slow as you want”

We walked inside together, and all three heads turned our way.  
“Well?” Whitney finally asked as I made my way over to her.  
“Well? Fix me another drink. Bitch” I responded.  
“What about you man?” Dylan asked Eric.  
“I’m good” he replied while staring at me.  
As Whitney made my drink, Eric slowly made his way over to stand next to me at the counter.  
When he was right next to me, he looked over and gave me a grin before he brought his hand up to rest on top of the counter beside me.  
Whitney passed me my drink and the conversation returned to normal, but I couldn’t stop looking down at Eric’s hand. I finally let mine go over and run down his arm until I reached his hand and I laced my fingers with his.  
He looked over at me with his head tilted to the side before he gave my hand a squeeze. It felt too good to let go, even if I had wanted to. Our hands stayed locked together for a long time as we took turns giving each other looks, unnoticed by anyone else in the room.  
With the alcohol affecting my brain and my bladder I excused myself and went to the bathroom. When I opened the door to head back out, Eric was standing in the hallway waiting for me.  
“I wanted to make sure you were okay”  
“I’m fine. Drunk but fine” I replied.  
“And.. We are okay?” he asked hesitantly, and I took a step towards him and took his hand in mine and went up on my toes to press a kiss to his cheek.  
When I pulled away, the smile on his face busted my heart wide open and I couldn’t hold myself back. I put my hand on the back of his head and pulled him down to me. I brushed my nose against his and I heard his breath catch in his throat when I pressed my lips to his for the first time in almost half a year.  
I pulled back and before I could let him go, he was pulling me back into him. He ran his tongue across my bottom lip and I let myself get lost in the kiss. I didn’t even realize I was moving until my back hit the hallway wall. One of his hands came up to my cheek and the other rested on the wall beside my head as we continued getting deeper in the moment.  
But then my brain showed up to the party. I had a mental image of him on the bed with that girl on top of him and I instantly felt sick to my stomach and moved my face to the side.  
“Too much?” he asked breathlessly as he looked down at me.  
“I need a minute” I replied, and ducked under his arm and went back into the bathroom.

A long time had gone by when I heard a knock on the door.  
“Are you puking?” I heard Whitney say with her face right up against the door.  
“No. You can come in”  
She opened the door and walked in the bathroom and closed it behind her.  
“So why are you sitting on the side of the tub looking like you are going to cry?”  
“Because, we were kissing in the hallway and all I could think about was him kissing her” I confessed.  
“Oh damn, that does put a damper on things I guess” she replied and joined me on the side of the tub.  
“What do I do about that?”  
“I don’t know. Drink more?” she said with a playful smile.  
“I highly doubt that’s the answer to the problem”  
“You could try scooping out the parts of your brain that are fucking you up” she said seriously.  
“Just take the whole thing then”  
“For real though, I think you should tell him what happened because he looks to be internally freaking out” she let me know.  
“Yeah maybe”  
“Is it going to be an issue for us to crash here? Nate is pretty drunk, so unless Eric takes us back to your sisters then I think we are stuck. And I’m okay with being stuck” she said with a smile.  
“Yeah I’ll be fine. I’ll call Katie and let her know”  
“Will you tell Eric to come here” I asked as she got up to leave and she nodded her head.  
I walked back out into the hallway to wait for him and as I saw him approaching, I decided that maybe we should have that conversation another day. After assuring him that I was fine, he pulled me into a hug.  
We rejoined the others and I called my sister to give her the heads up. We ended up moving back outside, where the three boys attempted to catch things on fire and blow things up with not much luck. Whitney joined them and I sat watching all the idiots and laughing at them quietly to myself.  
Eric glanced over at me and saw me smiling and came walking over.  
“I love to see that smile” he said as he sat down next to me.  
“Even though I was smiling at how stupid all of you are?”  
“Maybe not so much now” he responded as he smiled over at me.  
“How is everybody just cool with the fact that she was talking to Dylan first and now she’s all about Nate?” I asked as we watched them all interacting.  
“That’s easy. She scares Dylan” he said making me snort.  
“Shit she scares me to most of the time”  
“Why are you sitting over here alone looking bored?” he asked as he looked over at me.  
“Because I don’t want to play with fire”  
“Well what do you want to do then princess?” he replied sarcastically.  
“I’m down with whatever”  
“We can go make out in the hallway some more” he said, joking of course but I decided that sounded a lot better than what I was doing right now.  
“Okay”  
“For real? Damn. Let’s go then” he said as he stood up and we slipped away unnoticed.

We got to the hallway and he stopped in front of a closed door and looked over at me before he turned the knob and opened it.  
“Who’s room is this?”  
“Just a guest room” he said as he closed the door behind us.  
He reached down and grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the full sized bed in the middle of the room. He sat down on the foot of it and when he did, I brought one knee at a time up to rest on both sides of his legs and then I sat down straddling him.  
“Oh yeah? This is new” he said as he looked up at me with anxious eyes.  
“Yeah it just kinda happened” I said back, and brought my arms up to wrap around his neck. When the kiss started it was soft and full of feeling. But it quickly got more intense and I pushed myself down onto him harder. He let his hands come down to my hips, holding me down onto him as we fell further into the kiss.  
This time the only thoughts in my head were of the two of us and how much I needed him. Not in any particular way. I just needed him.  
I let my hips start to move, grinding onto him as his mouth found my neck. I moaned out at the contact and felt his whole body stiffen slightly at the feeling.  
“If you keep that up, I can’t promise I’ll be able to stop Y/n” he whispered into my ear, making me grind onto him harder.  
“Are you sure?” he asked as he pulled back and looked at me.  
I nodded my head as my answer, and he flipped us over to where he was on top of me.  
“100%? No doubts at all?” he asked as he looked down at me.  
“Please” I breathed out and he lowered his mouth to mine and grabbed my thigh as he started to grind into me this time.  
I moaned out into his mouth as he continued his movements. When I felt like I was going to explode I started pulling at his shirt, frantically trying to get him closer to me.  
He leaned up and pushed the bottom of my shirt up and went down, placing kisses on my lower stomach. I felt chills go all over my body and when his hands found the button on my jeans I reached down and started undoing them myself. Just as he was about to pull them down someone beat on the door so hard that it scared the life out of me and completely ruined the moment.  
“Dude you are not fucking in my house! I haven’t even fucked in my house!”  
“Go away Dylan” Eric yelled back as his hands were frozen in place on the top of my jeans.  
“I’m opening this door in 5 seconds so you two better hurry the hell up!” Dylan yelled back making Eric drop his hands and his head as I buttoned my pants back up fast as hell.  
The door opened and all Dylan saw was Eric sitting between my opened knees.  
“Yeah. Not happening”  
“That is so fucked up” Eric said, before standing up and pulling me with him.  
“Better luck next time” Dylan laughed out before he retreated back down the hall.


	16. Just Leave Us Alone

“I’m not playing babysitter all damn night. Where the hell did those two go now?” Dylan said as he searched the house for Whitney and Nate.  
“We can sneak away again. If we lock the door this time then maybe he will give up” Eric whispered to me making me laugh.  
“As tempting as that sounds, I think I’ll have to pass”  
The other two were ushered back into the kitchen and we all sat looking miserable as Dylan kept his drill sergeant persona going.  
“Go to your own houses and have sex if that’s all you fuckers want to do! I don’t want to stay up all night simply because a group of horny teenagers keep trying to have sex all over my house!”  
“Then go to bed already” Nate said, looking as frustrated as Eric.  
“Nice try asshole”  
“Maybe we should go” Whitney said as she looked around the group.  
“I sure as shit can’t drive” Nate added.  
“Leave your car here then” Dylan said with his hands on his hips, looking completely done with the situation.  
“I better stay here. If I get caught somewhere I’m not supposed to be again then I’m done for” Nate said with a sigh.  
“Can you take us to my sisters?” I asked Eric as I squeezed his hand.  
“Yeah, that’s cool”

Everyone said their goodbyes and the three of us got inside Eric’s car and headed toward Katie’s house.  
“It’s after 2. My parents are gonna flip out if they hear me come in this late” Eric said as he shook his head.  
“Just tell them Dylan was being a dick” Whitney chimed in from the back seat.  
“That wouldn’t be a lie at all”

When we pulled up to my sisters, Whitney got out and sat on the porch so me and Eric could say our goodbyes.  
As soon as she had closed the door he leaned over and grabbed my neck, bringing me closer to him. What was supposed to be a goodnight kiss turned into much more as I started to climb over the middle console. He grabbed the handle on the side of his seat and scooted it back, allowing me to straddle him.  
“If you guys are gonna do all that then can you at least unlock the door?” Whitney asked from beside the drivers side window, killing our moment once again.  
“It is now my mission to find somewhere for us to be alone this summer” Eric said as he looked up at me longingly.  
“You do that” I replied before I gave him a quick peck on the lips, opened the door, and got out.  
“Can I see you after work tomorrow?” he called out after me.  
“I don’t know, can you?” I asked back over my shoulder before unlocking the door and going in.

As soon as we were in my room, we both started talking at once.  
“You go!” she finally said.  
“5 more minutes and we couldn’t have been stopped I don’t think”  
“Oh shit! It will happen for sure this summer. I told you that forever ago” she replied while clapping her hands like a seal.  
“What about you? You and Nate seem to be hitting it off”  
“Uh. I mean, we kissed. I wasn’t planning on having sex with him. He’s a little too goofy for me now that we’ve met in person” she said making my eyes go big.  
“I did not expect that”  
“Yeah me either. Now I know that I fucked up because I think me and Dylan may have been a better fit after all” she replied as she pondered the idea.  
“Good lord. So a big ass love triangle. Whatever, as long as I’m not the one in a messy ass relationship this time” I laughed out.  
“Who said anything about a relationship?” she replied while wiggling her eyebrows at me.

The days started to fly by like they always seemed to do when I was in Colorado. Before I knew it, it was already the beginning of July and me and Eric still hadn’t found anywhere to be alone together. We actually hadn’t had much alone time period since Whitney was always with us everywhere we went.  
Her and Nate seemed to come to a mutual agreement that they were better off as friends and his attention went to other places.  
Eric was supposed to come pick us up one evening after work, just to hang out as always. When I opened the door, I also found that Dylan was standing there.  
“I brought back up”  
“Hi, I’m back up” Dylan said making me laugh.  
“What are you talking about?”  
“Dylan is going to take Whitney to see things here that she hasn’t seen yet” Eric responded as he pulled me into a hug.  
“And I’m going to get some alone time with you” he whispered into my ear.

Whitney happily went along with Dylan and once they had pulled away, we started towards our destination to.  
“Where are we going for alone time?” I asked nervously as I played with the bottom of the dress that my sister and Whitney had convinced me to wear.  
“My house. My parents are having dinner with friends and they won’t be home for at least 2 hours”  
I felt my heart rate quicken at the thought of 2 whole hours alone with him.

We pulled up at his house and he quickly unlocked the door and pulled me down the basement steps with him.  
When we got to his room, he made it very clear that he wasn’t playing games this time. He already had my permission, and he wasn’t going to ask again.  
He pulled me by my waist to his bed and then spun me around and pushed me down onto it causing the dress I was wearing to fall up around my thighs as I fell down.  
I saw his eyes go up my leg before they finally made it to my eyes and then he came down on top of me.  
No words were spoken as he brought our lips together and immediately parted mine with his tongue. His hand went down and landed on my thigh before he slowly ran it up higher, taking the dress with it.  
He lowered his head and kissed my neck before he moved further down, when he got to the top of my chest he ran his tongue across my skin causing me to push my head further into his pillow and moan out.  
He moved back up to my neck and let his hand travel over to where he was touching my panties. His fingers traced the top of them before he let them slip inside and he slowly crept further down until he was touching me.  
My breathing had already started to get heavier before we made it this far but now I was on the verge of losing my damn mind as he ran his fingers over me softly.  
He leaned up to where he could see me before he gently pushed a finger inside of me and let gripped onto his shirt tightly as I bit my lip at him.  
He worked his way deeper in and my hips bucked up to meet his hand when he started to move quicker.  
I reached down and got his pants undone and ran my hand over his hardness with only his boxers between us.  
I continued to rub him as he looked down at me and just as I went to pull him out we heard footsteps coming from upstairs.  
“Are you fucking kidding me” he growled out as he quickly got off the bed and pulled his pants back up.  
I quickly fixed my dress and sat up on the bed and ran my hands though my hair trying to make it look like we weren’t doing what we were just doing.  
Just as Eric went into the bathroom his mom appeared in the doorway.  
“Hey Y/n, I didn’t know you were here” she said when she saw me sitting on his bed.  
“Is everything okay honey? You look upset?” she asked with a worried look and I heard Eric let out a laugh in the bathroom.  
“I’m fine” is all I could get out from the utter embarrassment I was feeling.  
“Eric your dad wasn’t feeling well so we cut dinner short” she called out through the bathroom door before she went back up the stairs.  
Eric came out seconds later completely red in the face.  
“It wasn’t meant to be” I said once he had sat down next to me on the bed.  
“Oh it’s meant to be. We will figure this out baby” he replied.  
“You haven’t called me that in a long time” I said and smiled over at him.  
“I didn’t know if it was still okay. Now I think we are past that”  
“Ya think?” I asked as I elbowed him in the side.  
“How would you feel about car sex?”  
“No” I immediately replied.  
“I didn’t think so. Was worth a shot though”  
“We can always try again at Christmas” I said trying to give him hope.  
“Oh yeah because it will be so much easier when there are two sets of parents involved. Right?” he said sarcastically.  
“Hey I’m just throwing out ideas here”  
“I know baby. At least I know you want this as much as I do”  
“Why does it seem like it was so much easier to be alone last summer?” I asked after several seconds of silence.  
“Because we didn’t want to have sex back then. Or you didn’t” he replied with a laugh.

The next few weeks we had found a handful of times to sneak away to be alone but it was always interrupted by one thing or another. So we gave up on the thought and just decided to concentrate on spending what time together we had left.  
“Have you guys looked at colleges?” Whitney asked one afternoon as me, her, Dylan, and Eric were all laid on blankets in his backyard.  
“I have. I think I’m gonna go to Arizona” Dylan replied.  
“I found this one that is supposed to have a pretty good computer department. I thought about checking it out soon” Eric responded as he squeezed my hand.  
“Where is it at?” I asked, hoping it wouldn’t be even further away from me.  
“You’ve probably heard of it. UNA?”  
“What!?” I yelled out as I sat up and looked down at him.  
“You know that one huh?” he asked with a laugh.  
“Dude that’s literally across a bridge from my house. Are you kidding me right now?” I continued yelling as I threw myself on top of him on the ground.  
“I mean.. We can leave” Dylan said as he tried to avoid watching us.  
“Can you though? Doesn’t really seem like anyone knows how to leave us alone” I said back causing Eric to laugh under me.  
He flipped us over on the blanket to where he was laying beside me leaning over me.  
“I told you I would come to you if I needed to. You have another year of school left after I graduate so it makes sense for me to come closer”  
“If you get a dorm I will fucking scream. Please get an apartment. Pleeeaaassee” I pleaded with him making him laugh again.  
“Trust me. If I get accepted the first thing I’m doing is finding a apartment. Fuck interruptions” he said as he leaned down and kissed me.

That night after Eric had brought us home, I laid in bed as Whitney took a shower and I couldn’t stop smiling. I could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if we had another year of me coming and going it would be worth it in the end if he came to me and we got to see each other whenever we wanted.  
The day before we were supposed to fly back home, Eric came to get me and me alone. Whitney stayed behind without fighting it too much.  
When we pulled up in front of the Independent Records where we had met, I smiled over at him.  
“This is exactly the parking spot we were in when you got inside my car for the first time”  
“I thought so” I replied.  
We went inside together and walked around, hand in hand, and once we were back in the car, he turned to me.  
“4 months again huh?” he said, already knowing the answer before he asked it.  
“Unfortunately, yes”  
“But if everything goes as planned then we only have to do this two more times” he added as he reached over for my hand.  
“And who knows, maybe one of these days we will actually make it passed 3rd base and hit a home run” I said trying not to laugh.  
“I don’t think it’s considered 3rd base unless one of us gets off baby” he replied as he shook his head at me.  
“Okay. Then maybe we will eventually make it to 3rd base”  
“I knew you were gonna say that shit” he laughed out.

We spent the rest of the day just hanging out and being together. When he dropped me off he said he would be back to take us to the airport the next morning and we said our goodbyes.

Dylan joined him the next day, and I watched as he awkwardly hugged Whitney before we went through our gate to board.  
“So that’s a thing now huh?” Eric asked, letting me know that he saw it to.  
“I’m not sure. I’ll have to get some details on all that”  
“Give me a hug and tell me you love me baby” he said as he stuck his bottom lip out, giving me his best sad face.  
“This part always sucks so bad” I said as I brought my arms up around his neck and he put his on my waist.  
“Agreed. I love you Y/n” he said as he nuzzled my neck with his nose.  
“I love you to. Please don’t fuck this up this time”  
“I knew it was coming” he said as he rolled his eyes at me.  
“It had to be said”  
“I get it. And I won’t. I’ll show you” he said before he kissed me and let his lips stay pressed against mine until the final boarding call came over the intercom.


	17. When I fall apart, You will put me back together again

The start of Junior year was like an awakening for me. I had started to figure out who I wanted to be in this life and gained a ton of self confidence that I hadn’t even realized I was lacking to begin with. I started experimenting with makeup and even revamped my wardrobe, no longer dressing like a 12 year old boy, but like an actual teenage girl. The bright red hair became my signature look so it was a good thing that my mom was a hairdresser because it required a ton of upkeep.   
It seemed like me and Eric were growing stronger by the day. At times I couldn’t believe that I almost didn’t give him another chance. I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life and I knew that he felt the same.  
It’s crazy how fast thing can change. In the blink of an eye my whole world turned upside down and it felt like there was no going back to normal.  
In late August, I was talking to Eric on my new cordless phone as I walked back and forth balancing on the brick wall that lined the driveway. I saw my mom’s car coming and hopped down to get out of the way and as she pulled past me and into the driveway I could see that she was crying. I kept the phone to my ear, not thinking much of it, and made my way over to her.  
“I need you to get off of the phone and come inside”  
“Hey Eric I need to go. I’ll call you back later” I let him know and hit the power button to cut the phone off as I followed my mom inside the house.  
She went straight to the room she shared with my dad and started pulling his clothes out of drawers and the closet and throwing them into bags.  
“Mom, What’s going on?”  
“You are old enough that I don’t need to sugar coat any of this Y/n. I caught him having an affair. Another one actually. I’ve looked over it for years and I just can’t do it anymore” she informed me as I watched her shove my dads clothes into bags and I felt a tear run down my face.  
“Another one? Mom I’m so sorry”  
“Don’t worry about me Y/n. It will all be okay” she continued but the look on her face was one of pure devastation.

I was more than upset. More than sad. I was so angry at him for hurting my mom like this. I wanted to scream and cry but I also wanted to be strong for her, I knew if I broke down then it would do her in. I helped her haul all of the bags out of the house and onto the front porch for him to come and get and I wanted to be standing right there when he did. So I just sat there. For hours. I sat on the front porch steps going back and forth from crying to digging my fingernails into my palms so hard that they were cutting my skin. I couldn’t think of anything else outside of how my mom was feeling and how bad I hated my dad at this moment in time.   
When he finally pulled up I stood and walked towards him. He raised his arms like he thought I was going to hug him but instead I pushes him. With both hands on his chest I shoved my dad as hard as I could away from me.  
“I hate you for what you have done. I’ll never forgive you, I hope you know that” I shouted at him as he looked back at me with huge yes.  
“Y/n come inside” my mom called out from the front door. I stared at my dad for a long time before I finally did as I was told and went inside the house.  
“He is still your dad Y/n. He didn’t do anything to you, only to me”  
“Fuck that!” I said with tears in my eyes. Her mouth fell open slightly at my use of language that I had never used in front of her before but she didn’t correct me. She just let me go into my room where I fell face down on my bed and cried into the blanket until I ran out of tears.  
I knew that I needed to call Eric and tell him what was going on but I didn’t want to speak the words out loud so I didn’t call him. He may be upset about it but I think he will understand once he knows everything.  
I didn’t eat dinner. Didn’t take a shower. I just pulled my covers down and crawled under them and tried to fall asleep to make it all go away at least for a few hours.   
I woke up to my phone ringing and when I opened my eyes I saw that it was still dark outside. I glanced at my clock and saw that it wasn’t even 10pm yet.   
Everything came flooding back to me all at once and I put my face into my pillow and screamed as hard as I could. The phone just kept ringing so I could either unplug it or answer it and get this over with. I decided if I didn’t answer that Eric was going to lose his shit. So I did.  
“Hello” I grumbled out.  
“Baby? Were you asleep? Did you forget to call me back?”  
“No I didn’t. Eric everything is so fucked up right now”  
“What do you mean?” he asked with nervousness in his voice.  
“Long story short. My dad no longer lives here. My mom caught him cheating. I hate him and I don’t know what to do with my life anymore”  
“Oh shit. Y/n, I’m so sorry”  
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. I feel like I’m stuck in a bad dream”  
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, like he didn’t know what else to say.  
“I really don’t right now. I just want to go back to sleep”  
“Go to sleep baby. Call me after school tomorrow okay?”  
I let him know that I would and then we said our goodbyes.

Over the next few weeks I watched my mom slowly lose her mind and turn into someone that I didn’t even know. She started drinking heavily and even started smoking weed which I hadn’t seen her do in front of me since I was a kid. She started to get angrier by the day and one afternoon it all fell apart.  
I pulled into the driveway after a pretty decent day at school and had high hopes on going inside and doing nothing but talking to Eric online. I walked inside and kicked my shoes off by the front door like I did every single day. I dropped my backpack beside them and went into the kitchen and opened the fridge to get a drink when I heard my mom come up behind me.  
“I spent all day cleaning this house and you come straight in and fuck it all up”  
I slowly closed the fridge and searched my brain for what I should say. I had been walking on eggshells for weeks now, but it was getting pretty old always being on the receiving end of her anger.  
“Mom I just walked through the door so I’m not sure what you are talking about”  
“You just leave your shit laying where ever you want to Y/n” she said as she motioned towards my shoes and backpack on the floor next to the front door.  
“My bad” I said as I rolled my eyes and went to pick them up to take to my room but as I turned around to head that way I felt the sting across my face and it sent me into immediate shock.  
“What the fuck mom!”  
“Watch your mouth or I will do it again Y/n” she said as she looked at me with eyes full of rage. No shame at all over the fact that she just slapped her daughter across the face for doing nothing other than leaving her shoes by the back door.  
“Mom you hit me” I got out before I started to cry uncontrollably.  
I went straight to my room and locked the door and called Whitney.  
“Can I please come to your house” I cried out when she answered the phone.  
“Of course you can but what’s wrong”  
“I’ll tell you when I get there. I have to get out of here right now” I said before I hung up and grabbed a empty bag out of my closet and started throwing clothes in it.  
“Open the door Y/n!” my mom called out from the other side.  
I didn’t answer. I grabbed some stuff out of my bathroom and threw it in the bag and tossed it over my shoulder.  
When I finally opened my door, my mom stood up from the couch with tears running down her face.  
“Where are you going?”  
“Away from you” I responded and went out the back door.

I got to Whitney’s house and filled her in on everything and then used her computer to send Eric a message to let him know I wouldn’t be home for the night.  
The next day after school, my mom was sitting in Whitney’s driveway when we pulled in leaving me no choice but to talk to her.  
“I’m so sorry for what I did Y/n. Please come home. I promise to never take anything out on you again. I’m choosing to let go of the anger and move on with my life. If you will accept my apology then we can move on together”  
We cried together and then I grabbed my stuff from inside and followed her home.

She meant what she said. She did change and move on. But she went a little too far into the other direction. My mom started going out every weekend with friends and taking day long trips. She seemed a lot happier, but her actions still concerned me at times.  
By the time October rolled around, I had started to get used to only seeing my mom through the week and I always knew that she would be gone by the time I got home from school on Fridays. I honestly didn’t mind it much because I had free range of the house and I could pretty much do whatever I wanted with no consequences.  
This particular weekend was the weekend of Halloween. Usually that made me excited but this year everything was off and it just made me sad. Even more sad when Whitney informed me that she had a date on Halloween night and I would be alone. I had stashed a bottle of vodka under my bed so around 8 that night I pulled it out and decided to have my own party. I loaded the 9 disc CD changer down with all my favorites and cut the surround sound on so loud that I knew the neighbors could hear it but I didn’t care. I knew Eric wouldn’t be calling anytime soon because he had work and after work he was supposed to hang out with some friends. I didn’t mind of course but it made me feel sorry for myself nonetheless.  
I opened the backdoor up and let the breeze blow through the house as I danced around and downed as many drinks as I could, hoping to drink myself into a coma soon.  
Several drinks later I was at standing in front of the microwave willing my pizza rolls to get done faster and as the song stopped to go to the next one I heard my phone ringing in my bedroom. I took off running and jumped over the 3 steps that lead down into my room and landed on my bed as I grabbed the phone.  
“Hola”  
“Baby, I have been calling you for over an hour”  
“I apologize. I’m having a party” I said just as Living dead girl by Rob zombie started blaring through the house.  
“A party?”  
“Heeey wait a minute so I can turn the music down”  
I took my phone with me and hit the power button on the CD player.  
“Okay. Now talk some more” I said while making my way back into the kitchen for my pizza rolls and vodka drink.  
“Did you say you are having a party? I ditched the guys so we could talk online so that kinda sucks”  
“Not that kind of party silly. It’s a just me party”  
“Just you party? So you are busting your eardrums and drinking alone basically”  
“Exactly that” I said as I sat down on my bed with my plate of pizza rolls and shoved one into my mouth.  
“hithtiihththttt so hot” I let out.  
“How much have you drank baby?”  
“I didn’t count. But from the way I’m feeling then I can estimate and say it was a lot”  
“Get online so I can see you” he said with a hint of laughter in his voice.  
“Can I eat first?”  
“Yeah baby. Eat and get on”

I finished my food and made myself another drink before I signed on and his face appeared on the screen.  
“Is that pizza sauce?” he asked with a smile as he pointed at the corner of his own mouth, letting me know it was on mine. I wiped my mouth with my shirt sleeve and then tried to focus my eyes back on him.  
“You skipped hanging out with friends just to sit at home and talk to me?”  
“I did. I didn’t want you all alone on Halloween”  
“If I had known you were going to call then I wouldn’t have gotten so drunk” I let him know.  
“Well hopefully you are drinking vodka and you can make this worth my time” he replied as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.  
“Oh it is for sure vodka. But if you let embarrass myself then I will never forgive you Eric”  
“I don’t think I could stop you so technically that’s not fair”  
“True I guess”

We talked face to face for a while and then decided to switch to the phone so we could move around it we wanted to. I paced my room as we talked nonsense back and forth and then I eventually laid down on my bed and got under the covers.  
“Are you getting sleepy baby?”  
“A little bit. Come cuddle me”  
“If I was there I for sure wouldn’t be cuddling you” he said with a laugh.  
“What would you be doing then?” I tried to say as innocently as possible.  
“Anything you would let me do”  
“I would let you do anything” I replied as the vodka mixed with his words and started a fire in my stomach.  
“Anything? How long is the drive there?” he asked.  
“Way too long. I wish you were here so bad. If I close my eyes and try hard enough I can almost feel your hands on me, your lips on my neck” I let out as I held the phone with one hand and let my other one go down my body.  
“Damnit woman”  
“I’m sorry” I said as my eyes came open and I let my hand rest on my lower stomach.  
“Don’t be sorry. That’s hot. Feel free to keep talking” he said back, and I could hear him moving around and I knew he was laying down on his bed.  
I smiled to myself and let my eyes close again.  
“I can imagine you on top of me, looking down into my eyes as your hand goes down to touch me” I continued as I let my hand go under my pajama pants and I touched myself at the thought of him doing it.  
The only thing I could hear coming from his end was his breathing that had gotten noticeably heavier as I continued talking.  
“You push your fingers inside of me and I move my hips against your hand, oh fuck” I let out a moan as I did to myself exactly what I was describing to him.  
“Don’t stop baby” he breathed out and I knew that we were in this together.  
“Oh my god” I let out as my body tensed up and I hit my release. I dropped the phone onto the bed beside me as I let it wash over me and in the heat of it I let myself moan out his name.  
I picked the phone back up and it was completely silent.  
“Well…” I said, not knowing what else to say.  
“Holy shit baby”  
“Sorry about that. We can blame it on the vodka”   
“No, never ever apologize to me for something like that. That was the best thing I have ever heard” he replied, making me blush.

I knew Thanksgiving was going to be weird this year but when I got up the morning of, it went from weird to flat out sad. Instead of the usual noise coming from the kitchen of my mom cooking and the TV in the living room with the parade coming loudly through the speakers, all I heard was silence.  
“Good morning honey” my mom said from the counter in the kitchen where she was drinking her coffee in silence.  
“No cinnamon rolls?” I asked as I poked my bottom lip out.  
“I didn’t even think to buy any”  
“What about dinner mom?”  
“Y/n there’s no use in doing all the cooking for just us two. We can go to shoney’s for dinner” she let me know before she left me standing in the kitchen in shock.

Eric was doing his family thing all day I knew I wouldn’t hear from him until later in the night.  
We left for dinner around 4pm and sat quietly together as we waited on our food. After we had eaten my mom looked at me uncomfortably.  
“I need to talk to you about something and it’s going to upset you. I’m sorry honey, I know it has already been a pretty rough year for you. But we aren’t going to be able to go to Katie’s for Christmas this year”  
“What!? Mom no!” I let out.  
“We just can’t afford it without your dad here honey. I’m sorry. And if you are wanting to go this summer then you are going to have to get a job and pay for it all yourself” she let me know, causing me to spiral out of control.  
“This is bullshit. Dad can’t keep his dick in his pants so I get to suffer” I said as I started to cry.  
“Can we please go home so I’m not sitting in the middle of a restaurant crying on fucking Thanksgiving?” 

We made it home and I went straight to my room. A little while later I heard the back door close and I knew my mom was going out.  
“We apparently have money for her to go out every weekend but not enough for me to see Eric. Makes perfect sense” I said out loud to myself.

I spent the next few hours feeling sorry for myself and going over how I was going to break the news to Eric. I knew that he was going to be as devastated as I am.  
When he finally called, I answered the phone calm and collected but as soon as I heard his voice I broke.  
“We aren’t coming for Christmas. Please don’t be upset with me because I’m so tore up about it that I can’t even breathe properly”  
“I honestly had a feeling that was going to happen, but I didn’t want to say it out loud. I was scared if I did then it would come true. I would never be upset with you over something you can’t control. But yeah, I’m for sure upset. What the hell do we do now?”  
“There’s nothing we can do. And if I want to come over the summer then I have to get a job and pay for it myself. So I guess I’m going to put in applications tomorrow. I don’t even know how to do any of that Eric. This is so stupid”  
“Getting yourself more upset over it isn’t gonna do us any good. If we have to wait until this summer to see each other then that’s what we will do. As bad as that sucks”  
Little did I know that the wheels were already turning for him and before long he would execute one of the sneakiest ideas he had come up with.


	18. Thank God For Muscadine Wine And A Little Alone Time

I started my first ever job at Mcdonalds. I thought I was going to hate it but it was actually pretty fun. It was a small Mcdonalds that was inside of Wal-Mart at the back of the store and there were only about 12 workers and I ended up getting along with all of them for the most part. It helped a lot that I got to steal chicken nuggets whenever I wanted. As the paychecks started coming in, I would only keep out enough for gas and a little extra to get my by and the rest went into a envelope that I had hid in my bedroom and labeled “Get me to Eric money”. I wanted to have enough not only for the plane ticket but also some extra to actually be able to buy myself some things while I was there this time around.   
It had become challenging to find a time when Eric and I were both home at the same time so we didn’t get to talk as often as we were used to but I tried to focus on the bigger picture. He would be graduating in 4 months and if he got into college here then our long distance relationship would officially be over and I could have him to myself almost any time I wanted.  
The first week in February, we made time to talk online for the first time in a while and when I saw his face on the screen it made me want to cry.  
“I miss you so much. Your hair is getting longer. I like it like that” I said.  
“Do you? Maybe I won’t go get my haircut tomorrow then”  
“Go ahead. It will be grown back out before I get to see you again” I said sadly.  
“Nope. We aren’t doing that. This is the first time we’ve talked liked this in weeks. No sad shit”  
“Hey before I forget, I won’t be around much next week. Less than usual actually. I picked up some extra shifts at work” he let me know and I frowned at him again.  
“Don’t give me that look. I want to be able to spend as much time with you as possible this summer, so I plan on working less then. I need the money”  
“Well when you put it that way I can’t really be upset about it” I replied with a half smile.

He wasn’t exaggerating when he said he wouldn’t be around. We last spoke on a Tuesday and it was now Thursday and I hadn’t heard a word from him.   
I was sitting on a table in the back of Mcdonalds talking to one of the managers, it was 30 minutes before closing and everything had been done for me to leave, I was just waiting on the minutes to tick by. Another one of the girls that I was working with popped her head in from the dining room and called for me.  
“Yeah?”  
“Can you come help me with something?” she said back and I hopped down to see what she could have possibly messed up while wiping down tables.  
I went out of the swinging door and into the dining room and wasn’t even paying attention to anything other than making my way over to her when I was grabbed around my waist, causing me to scream out.  
“You smell like French fries” I heard Eric say into my ear.  
“No Way!” I said with my hands over my mouth, my back was still to him because I couldn’t make myself turn around yet.  
“Surprise” he said as I spun around and wrapped my arms around his neck.  
“How are you here right now!?” I asked as I buried my face into his neck.  
“Hey Y/n!” his mom said as she waved at me from one of the tables in the dining room where she was sat chatting with my mom.  
“Your mom is here to? What is happening right now” I said as I pulled away and looked up at him.  
“I made an appointment to come tour UNA. I’ve known we were coming since right before Christmas” he said with a huge smile on his face.  
“Oh my god Eric. You are really here” I said as I brought my hand up to rest on his cheek.  
“I’m really here. Until Sunday” he let me know as he squeezed me back into him.  
“Go ahead and clock out Y/n” my manager called out from the back and I wrestled myself away from him and went to clock out and grab my bag from the back.

Our moms road together and as Eric got inside my car he laughed.  
“Why is your car so messy Y/n”  
“It’s just who I am okay” I said back with a laugh.  
“I wasn’t expecting you to be in it anytime soon either” I continued.  
“That was a hard secret to keep for sure”  
“Where are ya’ll staying while you are here? Shit I have to work Saturday but I’m off tomorrow and Sunday. Maybe someone will cover for me” I started shooting out all my thoughts at once as I pulled out of the parking lot.  
“My tour is Saturday so it’s no big deal if you have to work a few hours. Plus it will give me time to snoop through your room while you are gone”  
“Ha! You won’t find anything interesting I promise. Wait..”  
“We are staying at your house dummy” he said with a laugh.  
“Your mom has known about this since I have” he let me know.  
“Woah wait a minute. You are staying at my house? Your mom to?”  
“Yep. We’ve already been here for a few hours. I didn’t want to get you into trouble by coming to your work any earlier though so I waited a while” he said.  
“Both of our moms and us in a house together all weekend. That doesn’t make me nervous at all”  
“It will be fine Y/n. Are you not happy that I’m here?”  
“Are you fucking kidding me? I’m expecting to wake up any second and find out it was all a dream!” I replied as I reached over and grabbed his hand.

We pulled into the driveway right behind my moms car and when we got out I went and gave his mom a hug.  
“Thank you for this” I whispered to her as I hugged her.  
“Don’t thank me. I’m just along for the ride. Eric paid for our plane tickets with his own money” she let me know as she hugged me back and I gave him a smile over her shoulder.

After we were inside, I went straight to my bathroom and took a quick shower to get the smell of work off of me before I joined everyone else in the living room.  
“So here are the ground rules for the next three days” my mom started, making me roll my eyes at her.  
“Kathy is taking the room next to mine. Eric will be on the couch. And Y/n knows that I am a very light sleeper” she said as she pointed at me.  
“Okay mom we get it” I said with a huff.  
“Don’t break the rules or I will make you sleep with me in my room while they are here” she continued.  
“Oh my god you are at my house right now” I said without responding to my mom as I looked over at Eric beside me on the couch.  
“Just hitting you huh?” he said as he smiled back at me.

I reached out for his hand and we locked eyes as our moms got into a conversation about paint colors. He looked down at our hands and then back up at me before he started rubbing his thumb against mine and the way his eyes bore into me caused me to visibly quiver and I bit my lip trying to control my bodies reactions.  
He raised his eyebrows and smirked at me before he leaned over and kissed my cheek, causing my face to burn.  
“Have you ever had homemade muscadine wine? One of my clients keeps me stocked with it. I have a bottle in the fridge” I heard my mom say, pulling me out of the moment.  
“Uhh mom that’s probably not a good idea” I let her know as I shot her a look.  
“Why, is it gross?” Kathy asked me, genuinely curious.  
“It’s really, really strong” I replied.  
“Well this is kind of a small vacation for me so I don’t think a glass or two would hurt” she said as she shrugged her shoulders.  
“You just mind your own business and go spend some time with Eric. Let me and your future mother in law bond” my mom called out as Kathy followed her into the kitchen.  
“What did she just say?” Eric shot out with red cheeks making me laugh.  
“She is about to get your mom wasted and I actually wouldn’t mind witnessing that”  
“I’m still stuck on the whole mother in law thing” he said as he shook his head.  
“Did you catch the part where she told me to go spend some time with you?” I asked as I stood and pulled him up with me.  
“Yeah I heard that to” he replied as I lead him into my room.  
I flipped the light switch on and hit the power button on my tv before I went over to sit on my bed.  
“Well this is different. I’ve only ever seen the spot right behind you over the webcam” he said as he walked around me room and came to stand right in front of the huge corkboard that I had decorated with all of our pictures from the cameras.  
“I didn’t even think about that” I said as I reached out and pulled him by his shirt over to me.  
I laid back and propped up on my pillows and pulled him down to where his head was on my upper stomach. I let my fingers run through his hair as he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tightly.  
I grabbed a fistful of his hair, playfully pulling on it as I looked down at him.  
“I really like your hair like this”  
“That’s why I didn’t cut it” he said as he snuggled in closer to me as we laid quietly together, laughing at our moms every now and then.  
Eventually I heard the back door open and close as they went to sit on the back porch. It was right outside my bedroom window so we could hear them loud and clear as they shared stories back and forth about us as kids. It became painfully obvious that they were both pretty drunk when Kathy started to share a story about the last time I was in Colorado. Eric and I both knew where it was going, and he sat up and looked at me with wide eyes as we listened on in horror.  
“I knew what they had been up to the minute I laid eyes on her sitting at the end of his bed. You should have seen the look on her face. I can only imagine what Eric was doing in that bathroom” his mom laughed out and I covered my mouth with my hand as Eric buried his face into my stomach.  
“Oh my god she knew” I whispered.  
“I wish she would shut the hell up” he said back, still face first with his face hidden in my stomach.  
“I figured they were having sex. You can’t be that infatuated with someone like she is with him and not be having sex” my mom said.  
“I should bust out there and inform the both of them that they have no idea what they are talking about”  
“Maybe add to it that we would be having sex if we could ever get some actual alone time” I said making Eric start to laugh.  
“You wouldn’t” he said as he lifted his head back up to look at me.  
“Are you crazy. I may not ever show my face outside of my room again after hearing that conversation” I let him know as we laughed together.  
The back door opened, and my mom pushed my door open and popped her head in causing us both to look her way.  
“Just making sure” she said causing us both to die out in laughter again.  
“Close the door mom!” I yelled out and to my surprise she did.  
I heard her go to the fridge, presumably after another bottle of wine, and go back out the door.  
As their conversation turned to our older siblings, we settled back into our position with me running my fingers through his hair and him holding onto me tightly.  
When I heard music start to play on the radio outside, I knew that they were in it for the long run, which made me happy that Eric wouldn’t have to go to the couch anytime soon.  
He must have heard it to because he loosened his grip on my waist and brought one hand to lay on my bare thigh. He started making patterns with his fingers as he moved up higher and it took everything in me not to reach down and grab his hand and put it where I really wanted it. My heart rate had sped up significantly and without realizing it, the hand I had in his hair had balled up and was gripping onto it tightly.  
He knew what he was doing to me and he lifted his head and looked up at me with a smile before he brought his hand to the bottom of my shirt and pushed it up, exposing my bare skin, and he started placing light kisses across my lower stomach.  
I looked down, watching him as he let his tongue come out and run over my skin right at the top of my pajama shorts, causing me to suck in a deep breath.  
He pulled away and smiled at me before he came to lay beside me and pulled me into his arms.  
“Can you be really, really quiet?” he whispered into my ear and I started frantically shaking my head as his hand went to the spot where his mouth had just been.  
“Help me listen for the door. And if we hear it we can’t panic okay? We are just going to pretend like we have been laying here together the whole time” he said as he pushed his hand down the front of my pajama shorts and touched me through my panties.  
My hips instantly bucked up at the contact and I gripped onto his shirt, holding him to me.  
He pushed my panties to the side and let his fingers go over me and my mouth fell open in silent pleasure.  
When he pushed inside of me I buried my face into his shoulder making sure that I was silent and as he started to move faster I reached down and put my hand on top of his, making sure he didn’t stop.  
“Yeah?” he whispered into my ear as he got me closer and closer with every touch and within seconds, I was melting into him.  
He felt it coming and nudged my cheek with his nose, making me move my mouth to his and I came apart as his tongue met mine. I let out a soft moan into the kiss and he slowly pulled his hand away and broke the kiss to smile down at me.  
“Now we have made it to 3rd base” he said before he brought his lips back to mine.  
We could still hear our moms outside so there was no point in stopping until we had to. We obviously weren’t going for a homerun with only a wall separating us from them but if we could make each other feel even a little good then we were going to.  
I reached down between us and rubbed him through his pants and watched his face as he closed his eyes and his lips parted slightly.  
I leaned in and pressed my lips to his and he grabbed the back of my neck holding into him as I applied more pressure and continued rubbing him.  
I was seconds away from unbuttoning his pants when the music cut off outside and I immediately pulled my hand away. He rolled onto his back and pulled me to where my head was on his chest and we both put ours eyes on the TV. Just as the back door was opening, I reached down to the foot of my bed and quickly grabbed a blanket and threw it across his lap and laid back down.  
“Good thinking” he said with a laugh, making me laugh with him, just as my mom opened the door and we both looked up at her innocently.  
“Look at the good little teenagers” she said with a big drunken smile on her face as his mom appeared behind her in the doorway.  
“Oh to be young and in love again” she chimed in as she opened the door wider and motioned for Eric to leave my room.

“I have a feeling the whole “5 more minutes please” won’t work here” Eric said before he leaned over and kissed me and left my room. But not before shooting me a huge smile over his shoulder.


	19. Agitation, aggravation, frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Lila Bird for helping my brain function <3

I slept like a log that night after I finally fell asleep. It was so hard knowing that Eric was right outside of my bedroom door and I couldn't be with him. I opened my eyes and saw the red numbers on my clock telling me it was already after 10am. I could smell bacon cooking in the kitchen which was strange because my mom hadn't cooked in weeks. I rolled onto my back and stretched my body before I sat up and my eyes landed on Eric. He was standing at the top of the steps leading down into my room, just watching me.  
"Good morning" he said as a smile formed on his face and I reached my arms out for him to come to me.  
"Alright but if I get in trouble then I'm blaming it all on you" he said as he came my way. He laid down beside me and pulled me to him and I laid my head back on his chest. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of his heart beating in my ear and it almost put me back to sleep.  
"No falling back asleep baby. We get to spend the whole day together today"  
"You caught me" I said sleepily before I stretched again and kissed his cheek.  
"Did he wake you up?" His mom asked as she appeared in my doorway holding a spatula.  
"No. But I wouldn't have been mad if he did" I said, and felt my cheeks burn as Eric laid across my bed looking like it was the most normal thing in the world.  
"You two come eat breakfast before you disappear for the day" she said before she went back into the kitchen.  
"Your mom is cooking? At my house?" I asked as I crawled over him and got out of my bed.  
"Well your mom is still asleep so..."   
"Of course she is" I responded.

Halfway through breakfast my mom finally emerged from her room and joined us.  
"What are ya'll going to do today?" She asked.  
"I haven't really thought about it honestly"  
"I was thinking of taking Kathy to that new home store down on Russellville. It's a nice little drive and it will give us something to do for the day" she said and I let my eyes slowly wander over to Eric, who was oblivious to what any of that meant as he tore into the bacon on his plate.  
"Maybe we will walk down to the park for a while. If it's not too cold today"  
"The weather said the high is 62 degrees. Can you believe that Eric? In February it's 62 degrees here" his mom said as if it was the most bizzare thing she had ever heard.  
"I guess that explains why you almost froze to death when you came for Christmas" Eric said, picking at me.

After breakfast I went to my room to get dressed for the day while the others cleaned up the dishes.  
After a speach about how we didn't need to be at the house until they got back, we headed down the road to the park.  
"So what's at the park?" Eric asked as we walked hand in hand down the road.  
"Nothing. In a few minutes we are going right back to my house. Russellville is a hour away and add another hour or so to them looking around and then the drive back home. That's at least 3 solid hours"   
"Mmm I like where this is going" he said as he stopped walking and pulled me into him.  
"I thought you might"  
We walked down to the park and made a circle around it before we headed back to my house. My mom's car was gone so we walked back down the driveway and into the back door and came face to face with both of the moms standing there looking at us.  
"Busted" my mom said with her arms folded over her chest.  
"What are you talking about? I came back in to get my bag and keys. We decided to go see Whitney" I shot out like it had been planned the whole time.  
Eric stood beside me and I saw his face relax as soon as I got the words out.  
"Oh.. then I apologise" my mom said as she stepped aside and I went to my room to grab my stuff. I stopped long enough to stomp my feet in frustration before I walked back out with a fake smile on my face.  
"Where's your car mom?"  
"Down the road. We aren't dumb Y/n"  
"What are you talking about? Anyways we are leaving" I said, continuing to play dumb as I pulled Eric back out the door.  
"That settles it. The universe does not want us to have sex" I said as I backed out of the driveway.  
"Fuck all that. How the hell did you come up with all that so fast?"  
"I honestly don't know. I just said the first thing that came to mind. But now I realize that I haven't even told Whitney that you are here" I replied.  
"I guess that means we are going to her house then huh?" He asked, sounding less than thrilled.  
"Just for a minute"

I told him to stay in the car and I went up and knocked on the door.  
She answered and immediately thought that something was wrong because I never just randomly show up.  
"No everything is fine! I got something that I couldn't wait to show you" I said as she stepped out onto the porch.  
"Well show me then"  
"It's in my car" I replied and started walking.  
"Is it for me?" She asked as she followed behind me.  
"Definitely not. It's all mine" I replied as I laughed.  
"Ta da" I said when we got to the passenger side and I opened the door.  
"How the hell did he get here? And why didn't you bring me one?"  
"The world couldn't handle two of me" Eric said as he got out and hugged her.  
"What are you guys up to?"   
"Uhh.. well.. we were going to sneak back into my house and have sex but we got caught and I lied and now we are here. Surprise!" I let her know causing Eric to laugh and her to shake her head at me.  
"You two just can't get it together can you?"  
"We cannot"  
"You got a bedroom to spare? A couch? The floor?" Eric chimed in and only slightly looked like he was joking.  
"Fresh out of any of that"

We filled her in on why he was here and about out moms drunkeness the night before. Leaving off the parts that involved our little bit of alone time.  
After a while I could tell that Eric was ready to go so we said our goodbyes and got back inside my car.

I took him and showed him how small our mall was compared to his and he made fun of it if course.  
"Why even have a mall if it's only gonna have like 6 stores in it? There's not even a music store in here"  
"We only have one music store period. And it sucks"  
"That's retarded. And you want me to move here?"  
"Hey that was your idea. You can always stay in Colorado and we can spend another year doing this shit" I said, nervous that he really wouldn't like it here.  
"I was joking baby. This is where I want to be if it means you are with me. I don't give a shit about malls and I can get mom to mail me CD's" he said after he had stopped me from walking and pulled me into his arms.

We got back to my house and luckily my mom's car was there so we didn't have to sit in the driveway until they got back.

My mom ordered pizza for dinner and after we ate, me and Eric went back to my room and laid on my bed to watch TV.  
I got so comfortable laying there with my head on his chest and his arms around me that I ended up dozing off.  
When I woke up the next morning to get ready for work, Eric was still right next to me. Sound asleep. I looked over and saw that my door had been opened so I assumed that he had fell asleep with me and that they decided not to wake us up. Which made me feel good that there was at least some kind of trust there.  
I tried to crawl over him as careful as possible to get out of bed but he grabbed me around my waist and pulled me back down and snuggled into me.  
"I'm not letting you leave me" he mumbled out.  
"I have to get ready for work Eric" I said as I struggled to get out of his grip.  
"That's stupid though. Just stay here and go to the college with us"  
"I can't do that. I'm only scheduled 4 hours though so you will be fine. And if you will get up and take me then I'll leave you my car if you promise to come back and get me on time" I let him know and he smiled against the pillow without opening his eyes.  
"Okay then. And I'm never late" he replied as he let me go and I went into my bathroom to get ready.  
When I came out, he was in the living room with his mom waiting for me.  
"Are you sure you don't mind us using your car y/n?" His mom asked as she followed us out the back door.  
"Not at all"

Eric drove with me in the passenger seat and his mom in the back.  
He pulled up outside my work to drop me off and kissed me before I got out. The kiss started to linger and I pulled away, embarrassed that his mom was right there.  
"It's okay sweety, I love that you love my son so much" she let me know and I smiled at her before I got out and went inside.  
Only 4 hours and I would see him again and he could tell me what he thought about the college. And hopefully tell me that he would be going there in the fall.  
This would be our last night together until God knows when and the thought of being stuck at work was putting me in a shit mood.   
I knew we wouldn't have another chance to be alone together before he left and as I leaned against the front counter at work, I searched my brain trying to think of some way for us to have at least one more moment. Not for me but for him. I want to make him feel like he makes me feel. And in that moment, I decided that consequences be damned. What did it matter anyways. If they already think we are doing it then they can't get to mad if all we are really doing is touching each other here and there. Right?


	20. Everyday For Us Something New

30 minutes before my shift was to end, I got all of my cleanups done and paced in front of the counter waiting for Eric to appear. As soon as my eyes landed on him walking towards the restaurant, I bolted.   
“Clock me out please” I yelled back at my manager and then glided over to him and our hands connected instantly.  
“About time”  
“Y/n I’m 5 minutes early. I told you that I’m never late” he replied as he gave my hand a squeeze.  
“I want to hear everything” I let him know while we walked out of the front doors of wal-mart and to my car.  
He handed me my keys and once we were inside, I put them in the ignition but didn’t start the car.  
“Start talking Eric!” I said impatiently making him smile.  
“I mean, It’s a college. I liked that it isn’t a huge campus and I could walk anywhere that I need to be. They gave me information about a few scholarships that I qualify for so I have to get those filled out and turned in”  
“So is this a for sure thing?” I asked while gripping onto my steering wheel in anticipation.  
“As long as I get in then yes. Mom wants me to stay in a dorm for the first year though” he said, and it sounded painful coming out of his mouth.  
“What? No! Please tell me that’s not happening”   
“That’s the only way she agreed to being okay with me coming all the way down here baby. Plus, she doesn’t want me working right away, until I get used to being in college and having all this freedom as she put it. So I wouldn’t be able to afford rent and utilities and stuff anyways”  
“How does shit just keep getting worse” I said as I laid my head down on the steering wheel.  
“At least I will be here Y/n”  
I started the car and headed towards my house, trying to weigh out the pros and cons of all the things that were about to happen in my life.  
Once inside my house I hurried to my room and got a shower, not wanting to waste the last few hours that we had together. When I made it into the living room, Eric and both moms were sitting around discussing what was going to be for dinner and I interrupted.  
“I was hoping that me and Eric could do our own thing since he leaves tomorrow”  
“Sorry to disappoint you honey but I told Kathy that we would take her around and show her some of the area to make her feel better about Eric being here. That was she has a better idea of where he is and all” my mom said, making my patience bottom out.  
“Why do we have to go for that?”  
“To prevent any sneaking in of the house” she replied as she looked between the two of us.  
We ended up at Cracker Barrel for dinner and I had found it increasing difficult to hide my irritation. Eric felt it coming off of me and reached under the table and put his hand on my thigh and squeezed it lightly, never taking his eyes off of the menu.  
He moved his hand off of me once the waitress came to take our orders and I felt the loss immediately. I wanted to pull his hand back to me, but they were both now on top of the table. I felt it would be obvious if I attempted to get him back, so I started casually scooting my chair closer to his instead.  
He shot me a smile once I was as close as I could possibly get, and I shrugged my shoulders at him.  
The two moms pretended that we weren’t undressing each other with our eyes as dinner went on and when we were finally done, the bill was paid and we were all back inside of my moms car headed to where ever she thought Kathy would want to see.  
Eric was sat beside the window in the backseat and I had scooted up right next to him to where he had no choice but to put his arm around me. Not that he minded but there was no way I was going to sit on the opposite side of the car from him.  
After an hour of driving all over the city that UNA was in and my town across the bridge, I had finally had enough and leaned between the two seats and as nicely as possible begged my mom to take us back home.  
“You lasted much longer than I thought you would” my mom laughed out like it was some kind of joke.  
“I’m sure I will be back to visit if this is where Eric chooses to go” Kathy said to my mom and I shot him a look.  
“This is where I’m choosing to go mom”  
“I really thought the whole dorm thing would have changed your mind” she replied with a hint of sadness in her voice.  
“Nope” he replied as he pulled me back closer to him in the backseat.

When we finally made it back to my house it was already after 6pm and the sun had went down.  
My mom pulled out another bottle of wine and Kathy looked hesitant at first but ended up going with it.  
I had been trying to come up with a plan in my head all day of a way to get away from our parents for a few hours, but I couldn’t come up with anything that didn’t involve being in public and that’s not what I was aiming for at all.  
Eric was laid across my bed, flipping through one of my notebooks that I drew in and casually making comments about how his name was doodled on every single page. I watched him laying there and the idea came to me and I sprung into action.  
“Put your shoes on” I told him as I grabbed my own and quickly put them on.  
“Where are we going?”  
“Don’t ask questions” I told him as he followed me out of my room and to the kitchen wh”ere my mom was flipping through a photo album, showing Kathy old pictures as she told stories about them all.  
“We will be back later” I said and tried to get out of the back door before the questions could start.  
“Where are you going?” my mom asked making me stop.  
“We are just going mom. Please just let us go” I let out as I pleaded with my eyes.  
“Don’t be gone too long. Our flight leaves early Eric” his mom said, saving the day.  
I grabbed Eric’s arm and pulled him with me out the backdoor and to my car.  
“Why do you seem so crazy right now?” he asked with a laugh as I backed out of the driveway.  
I didn’t respond as I drove the 3 blocks to the park and stopped the car at the back where there were no street lights. The park was empty with it being February and cold for the souths standards.  
I cut the car off and climbed over my seat and onto his lap, straddling him as he looked up at me with big eyes.  
“In the car baby?”   
“No home runs. I just want to touch you” I told him as I brought my mouth to his neck and started kissing him everywhere I could reach. He brought his hands up and grabbed onto my hips, holding me into him as I made it to his mouth and let out a moan when he pushed his tongue against mine.  
It got uncomfortable fast with my knee digging into the seat belt and I tried to move around but it wasn’t working.  
“Come on” I breathed out and crawled into the backseat. As soon as he was in the back with me, he was pushing me down onto my back and his hand went down trying to undo my jeans.  
“No” I let out as I moved his hand away and pushed him down on the seat next to me.  
He looked at me with confusion before I went up on my knees and kissed his neck and let my own hands go down to the button on his pants.  
When I looked back at him his eyes were glazed over and full of lust as he sat back and let me do whatever I wanted to do.  
I rubbed him through his boxers as he stared up at me and I started to feel like I wasn’t doing this right. His expression wasn’t giving much away but he was for sure rock hard so I continued on hoping that this was okay.  
When I reached inside his boxers and pulled him out his eyes closed and his lips parted slightly and my confidence level returned to normal. I gently let my fingers run over him and I felt him twitch making me wrap my hand around him and start to move.  
I went slowly at first, not sure what he wanted until his hips bucked up into my hand and I started to pick up speed.  
I kept watching his face as he squinted his eyebrows and let out a long breath between clenched teeth.  
I kept that pace for several minutes until he reached down and put his hand on top of mine making me go faster. When I did, he moved his hand away and scooted down further in the seat until he was almost on his back and pushed his shirt up over his stomach.  
“Fuck baby” he let out in a strained voice seconds before I felt his body go stiff and he spilled onto his stomach.  
I leaned down and kissed him roughly, now fully worked up myself and he smiled into the kiss.  
“That was so good” he let out as I moved my lips back to his neck.  
“You got some napkins or something?” he asked, oblivious to the fact that I was so worked up from the event that just took place.  
I pulled my hoodie off and then pulled off my tshirt from underneath it and handed it to him before I went right back to kissing him everywhere I could reach.  
“I want you so bad” I said into his ear and he froze.  
“That’s not really how that works baby. It will take me awhile to be able to do that if you are serious right now. But you’ve made it pretty clear that isn’t happening in a car. Mine or yours” he said sounding amused.  
“I don’t care anymore” I let him know as I sat back on my heels and looked at him.  
“Do you have a condom? Because I hadn’t really planned on you being on board with that at all”  
“Of course I don’t have a condom Eric. That’s your job” I replied, full of frustration as I pulled my hoodie over my head and sat back against the seat.  
“I’m sorry baby. Thanks for that nonetheless” he said as he threw my shirt into the floor board and pulled me to him.  
“But that opens up a whole new world of possibilities for this summer” he said with a laugh before kissing my forehead.  
“We should get back before they send the hounds out looking for us” he said and crawled back into the passenger seat.  
I followed and sulked in silence on the drive back to my house.

I woke up early the next morning and didn’t hear any sounds coming from outside my bedroom door so I walked over and opened it slowly and looked out and didn’t see anyone anywhere except for Eric sleeping on the couch.  
I crept over to him and lifted the blanket and laid down beside him and he instantly put his arm around me and snuggled into my back. I fell back asleep beside him and was woken up a few hours later by his mom shaking Eric to get him up.  
“At least you weren’t in her bed this time” she said as she shook her head at us and went back into the bedroom to get ready for them to leave.  
I rolled over to face Eric and he wrapped his arms around me tighter and we laid that way until we were forced to get up.  
My mom drove to the airport and I sat beside Eric in the back with my head on his shoulder as silent tears fell down my cheeks.  
“It’s almost over Y/n” he whispered out, only making more tears fall.

We said our goodbyes at the airport and my mom didn’t try to make me talk on the way home. She just let me sit in the passenger seat and belt out Nothing else matters by Metallica over and over as I ugly cried.

The 2nd weekend in March I walked in from school and put my stuff away and went to pack a bag to stay the night at Whitney’s house. Her parents were away for the weekend and we had plans to get wasted together and I was going to color her hair.  
I came in through the back door like I always did and right as I made it to my room my mom called out from the living room.  
“Y/n can you come here for a minute”  
I threw my backback down into my room and before I made it into the living room, I saw both of my parents sitting on the couch together.  
“What’s going on?”  
“Sit down honey. We need to talk to you” she said as I made my way over to one of the recliners.  
“We have decided to work on things and try to give this another shot” she let me know causing a mixture of emotions to come to the surface.  
“So basically you are telling him that it’s okay to go out and cheat on you then. Right?”   
‘Y/n I told you from the beginning this was between us. It has nothing to do with you or how your dad loves you.  
“I won’t forgive you” I told my dad before I went to my room and slammed my door.

The next week was full of my dad trying to worm his way back into my life and I fought it tooth and nail. I didn’t want any part of any of it and the way I saw it, I only had a little over a year before I was out of here anyways so what was the point.  
But just like always, everything changed in the blink of an eye.  
I was sitting in class one Tuesday after lunch and a voice came over the intercom calling me to the office.  
I tried to think of what I could have possibly done wrong as I made my way down the hall and when I got there the secretary smiled at me nervously.  
“Y/n you need to leave and go over to the hospital. Your mom called and said it’s an emergency”  
I took off to my locker and grabbed my bag and ran out into the parking lot and to my car. The hospital was only about a mile from my school but it seemed like I was getting caught at every red light between it and my the school.  
I finally got there and told the lady at the desk that my mom had told me to come here and a few minutes later she walked out of the doors of the emergency room.  
“Mom what’s going on?”  
“You dad had a series of mini strokes. They are running more tests but he is very sick and will probably be here for a few days” she let me know as she tried to compose herself the best she could as not to scare me.  
She took me back to see him and he looked awful.  
After I sat with him for a while I was sent home to get him some clothes and stuff and after I dropped it off I went back home alone. My mom was going to stay with him and there was no point in me being there since I had school the rest of the week.  
I caught Eric after he got out of school and before he went to work to fill him in on everything and he gave me the number to his work so I could call him if anything went bad between now and the time he got home.

A few days later, my dad was discharged and put on several different medicines to control his blood pressure. This was just the beginning of a long road into hell for me.


	21. Time To Grow Up

It seemed like my dad was going to the doctor every other day and they were swapping his medicine almost everytime. He went from kissing my ass to get back in good with me to becoming a complete monster. As a 16 year old girl who was going through lots of changes already, it was very hard for me to acknowledge that it wasn’t his fault that he reacted to things the way that he did. The constant change of medicine was doing a number on his mental state.   
At one point things seemed to get better when they put him on Xanax. I didn’t have a clue what that was at the time but I found out pretty quickly when they took him off of it and he started going through major withdrawls. He would lash out at me for doing nothing at all. I could walk through the house too loud for his liking and he would unleash his wrath on me.  
The first time that he physically hurt me is a day that I would never forget.  
It was spring break at the end of March and Whitney had spent the night. My mom was at work the next day so he was the only one home with us and we did our best to stay in my room and away from him. We had to go to the kitchen to make ourselves cereal and he was in the computer room right off of the kitchen so we kept our talking to a minimum and tried to quickly get done and get out. As I was reaching into the cabinet for a bowl it slipped out of my hand and landed on the floor, breaking into several pieces. I dashed over to grab the broom and when I turned around he was standing in the doorway looking at me.  
“It slipped out of my hand. I’m going to clean it up. I’m sorry”  
“If you weren’t so busy acting stupid with your little friend then it wouldn’t have happened. If I step on glass and cut my foot it’s over with for you. You can kiss that little boyfriend of yours goodbye to” he said and Whitney started to walk backwards, retreating back to my room.  
“Dad it was an accident. I said I’m going to clean it up”  
“Give me the damn broom and I will do it myself. That’s the only way it will get done right” he said as he jerked the broom out of my hands and pushed me away from him forcefully, causing me to fall and as I tried to catch myself I twisted my ankle.  
I started to cry as soon as it happened and he had the nerve to laugh at me.  
“Get up and walk it off. You are fine”  
I managed to get over to Whitney and she helped me into my room as I cried as quietly as I could.  
“He shouldn’t get away with treating you like this Y/n” she told me as she started to cry with me.  
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it. It’s like mom doesn’t believe how mean he really is to me when she isn’t here”  
“Well I just saw that with my own eyes so I will tell her” she told me as she rubbed my back to try to calm me down.

“I will kill that mother fucker” Eric said in absolute rage after I told him what had happened later in the day.  
“I can barely put pressure on it. It hurts so bad”  
“Does your mom know? There’s no way she is going to let this one go. Especially if Whitney saw it happen” he said as the rage increased.  
“We are gonna talk to her as soon as she is alone. I’ve been waiting since she got home” and as I said it she opened my bedroom door to ask if Whitney was staying again.  
“Mom we need to talk” I said and just laid the phone down beside me without ending the call.  
She came in and closed my door and folded her arms across her chest as she looked back and forth between me and Whitney.  
“I assume it’s about your tantrum in the kitchen”  
“Tantrum? I broke a bowl on accident and dad flipped out on me. He shoved me down and I twisted my ankle” I replied and held my foot up so she could see how swollen it was.  
“That’s not the story I got from your dad Y/n. He said that he tried to help you clean it up and you pulled the broom away from him and fell. So let’s not exaggerate here”  
“She isn’t exaggerating. I saw it to” Whitney chimed in nervously.  
“Are you staying for dinner?” my mom asked her, obviously done with the conversation.  
“I’m not leaving her” Whitney responded as she looked at my mom in complete shock.

When my mom left the room I picked the phone back up and Eric was already talking.  
“Has everyone lost their damn minds over there? This is insanity”  
“I’m as confused as you are. Trust me” I let him know as I silently started to cry again.

Eric’s birthday came and went and I spent the day so fucking sad that I couldn’t be with him to celebrate it. Turning 18 is a big deal and I felt like I needed to be there. He made me promise not to send him anything but instead to save my money for the trip there in a few weeks.   
Things had home had calmed down a bit but in reality it was because I had been avoiding my dad like the plague. I no longer ate dinner at the table with them in the evenings, I would carry my plate to my room and eat alone. I started buying my own drinks and snacks so I didn’t have to leave my room when it was just the 2 of us home and I spent so much time at Whitney’s house that her parents started to question my home life.   
By the middle of April I had saved enough money for my round trip plane tickets and had a good bit extra to take with me. I had looked online and knew the tickets were going to be $279 before taxes and I had an extra $300 to take with me. As I pulled my envelope out and counted it, I felt proud of myself for setting a goal and actually hitting it for the first time in my life. I figured I would probably get a little extra money for my birthday and I would just put it in with what I already had.  
My mom had agreed to go put my ticket money in the bank and use her credit card to buy them for me so when she got home from work the next day I was chomping at the bits to get them bought.  
She told me that she would do it after dinner time so I waited patiently. After dinner she took a longer than normal bath and I continued to try to keep my patience. After over a hour had went by I tapped lightly on the bathroom door to ask if we could buy them when she was out. Before I got the words out of my mouth good my dad was behind me.  
“She is in the tub Y/n. She has told you all day that she will do it tonight so drop it”  
“I was asking her” I said before I could stop myself and before I could react, he had grabbed me on both sides of my arms and was digging his fingers into my skin.  
“You better watch your little smart ass mouth”  
“You are hurting me” I yelled out into his face and his grip only got tighter.  
“Dad stop!” I yelled out as he pulled me forward and then slammed me into the wall behind me.  
The bathroom door flew open and my mom came out in nothing but a towel. She pushed him away from me and started screaming at him herself.  
“Don’t you ever put your hands on her like that again!” she yelled out as she stood in front of me. Shielding me from him.  
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened” he said to her as I ran to my room. I locked my door and sat down on my bed hyperventilating as I looked at my arms that were already turning black with bruises.  
For the first time in my life I felt trapped. Unwanted. Worthless. I didn’t know what to do and my brain wouldn’t stop as I wrapped my arms around myself and cried.  
“I just want to die” I cried out.  
My mom beat on my door until I unlocked it and came to me, apologizing for not believing me and crying with me.  
She looked at the bruises on my arms in disgust and promised me that she would never let him hurt me again.   
The next words she spoke made me sick to my stomach.  
“Maybe we should find you somewhere else to stay since you and your dad can’t get along”  
“So wait. Are you kicking me out?” I asked in utter shock.  
“I would never kick you out Y/n. But maybe it’s for the best” and she left the room leaving me alone to spiral out of control.

By the time Eric got off work and called me I had calmed down enough to try to hold a conversation.  
“Did you get your tickets?” he asked as soon as I answered the phone.  
“I didn’t. Eric something happened. Something bad”  
“What do you mean? Get online right now” he said and then he hung up.  
I walked over to my computer feeling like I would fall over at any minute from the physical and mental exhaustion that I was experiencing.  
I signed on and sat looking at the screen, trying to force myself to go numb.  
“Baby why do you look like that? What’s going on?” he asked as he looked back at me.  
I didn’t say anything back. I just lifted my arms up to reveal the now very black bruises all over the backs of my arms.  
“Who did that to you?” he asked, looking like he was about to come through the computer screen.  
“Who do you think”  
“Jesus christ Y/n. I’m done with this shit. Your mom needs to get him the fuck out of there”  
“Ha. Her plan is to get rid of me instead apparently” I replied.  
“What? Where the hell are you going to go?” he asked in shock at the information.  
“I don’t have a clue. I may call Katie and see if I can come there but I really don’t want to switch schools and not graduate with Whitney. Especially since you are coming here in less than a month. That would mean we are right back in the same situation of being apart. Just trading places”  
“Maybe you can stay with Whitney. I don’t know what to do to help you baby” he said as he looked at me sadly.  
“I will figure something out. I don’t guess I have much of a choice”

I kept to myself for the next few weeks, not even talking to my mom unless I had to. Whitney’s parents didn’t want to be in the middle of my family drama which I completely understood but it still left me with nowhere to go.  
I woke up the morning of my birthday with no expectations of it being a good day. I had school and then right after school I had to go to work but didn’t really bother me considering it meant I wouldn’t be at home.  
But when I opened my door to leave for the day my mom stopped me in the kitchen.  
“No school for you today. I thought we could spend the day together, and I have a surprise for you” she said, catching me completely off guard.  
“I have work later mom”  
“No you don’t. I called and told them you were sick. You don’t go back until Monday” she informed me with a smile like that was supposed to make me happy. That just meant that now I had to find somewhere to go all weekend so I wouldn’t be stuck in the house alone with my dad.

I nervously went along with what she had planned, not knowing what that was in the slightest. She drove us to hardees where we ate breakfast together as she tried to make small talk with me.  
We got back inside the car and she told me that she wanted to go yard selling, which used to be one of our favorite things to do together but I really just wanted away from her.  
She turned down a road and made a bid deal out of driving slowly and looking to see if we could spot yard sales as I sat with my head laid against the window lost in thought.  
We got to the end of a dead in road and she pulled into the driveway of a set of duplex apartments and I assumed she was just turning around but she put the car in park and cut it off. She pulled her key out of the ignition and took off a key ring and handed it to me.  
“Want to go check it out?” she asked as I just stared at the key in my hand.  
“Check what out?”  
“Your new apartment” she said with a smile as I looked back at her in confusion.  
“I paid the deposit and first months rent but you will have to pay for the utilities to be turned on and then take over from there” she said like this was completely normal.  
“Mom I literally turned 17 today and you want me to live by myself?”  
“I figured you would be happy about it Y/n” she said, still smiling because she knew I hadn’t fully come to terms with it all yet.  
I followed her up the sidewalk and unlocked the door and the smell of fresh paint hit me right in the face.  
The living room was a decent size and had new, tan carpet. Off of the living room was a kitchen that had a area to the side for a small table and there was a back door that lead out into a small yard with a privacy fence around it.  
Down the hall there was a bedroom on each side and a bathroom between them and then a small closet that had the washer and dryer hook ups.  
“I don’t have anything to put in here except my bedroom stuff mom”  
“You have a good bit of money saved up honey. We can find you some stuff at yard sales for pretty cheap to fill it up”  
“Mom that money is for me to go see Eric” I said with tears in my eyes.  
“He will be here soon Y/n. Right now you need to focus on getting yourself settled. I still expect you to finish school and all that but this is me letting you go. You can be free from mine and your dads mess and start your own life” she let me know with tears in her own eyes.  
I knew she was right. And I started to feel a hint of excitement at the idea of having my own space. Not having to worry about what I do or say. Not having to worry about my dad lashing out and hurting me again.  
I smiled over at her and then gave her a hug before I walked through the apartment again actually taking everything in this time.  
“Now we can go look for yard sales and find you a couch and stuff. And if you want to go get your money then we can have the utilities turned on today. It wouldn’t take much to get your bed here so that you can sleep here tonight if you want to” she said as she followed me around.  
“Yes to all of that. But I won’t be able to get a phone and internet right now. It’s Friday. How will I tell Eric what’s going on?”  
“Let’s run and get your money and then we will figure all that out”

An hour later we were standing inside a cell phone store and I was paying for my very first cell phone. The man showed me how to use it a reassured me that I could call long distance with no extra charges and then we were on our way. As my mom drove towards the utility department I played with the phone and figured out how to program Eric’s number into it. He was going to lose his mind over all this when I called him later.  
I paid for the Utilities to be cut on and had roughly $300 left to furnish my new apartment with.  
The first yard sale we came to had a couch and love seat that looked like it was straight out of the 70’s. It was pale pink in color and sat super low to the ground but it was in pretty good shape to be so old. They were asking $70 for the set which I thought was a pretty good price but my mom being the haggler that shit is talked them down to $50 and got them to agree to deliver to.   
We ended up at wal mart next and I found a set of end tables that you put together yourself for $20 so those came as well. I forked out the money for a brand new microwave and then bought a shower curtain and rugs for the bathroom and kitchen as well as a few plate and cups and some silverware.  
We went back to my parents house and loaded all of my bedroom stuff into my dads truck and me and my mom went alone to unload it which proved to be a shit show. Just as we were finishing the utility guy came and cut the lights on. My mom helped me get my bed together and then she took me back to get my car and I was on my own. Headed to my new home. All alone.  
We had managed to get everything done by 2pm so with 2 more hours to kill before Eric was home from school I set to work putting everything where I wanted it and then I got back inside my car and went to the phone and internet company to see about getting that set up. They let me fill out all of the forms but needed my mom to come sign them so I used my new cell phone for the first time and called to beg her to go sign them. She agreed and I left and started back to my apartment but the thought of sitting there in complete silence and all alone made me sad. So I did what any logical 17 year old girl would do. I went to the animal shelter.


	22. One More Long Journey

I walked the rows of cages as all the dogs jumped up and down barking as I went by. I didn’t come with any intentions of actually leaving with a dog but when I saw the tiny mutt cowering in the corner of the kennel scared to death, I no longer had a choice.  
I got a lady to open the cage for me and I went inside and I tried to get the dog to come to me but he was too scared to move.  
“He is only about 6 months old I believe. Someone dropped him off 2 days ago and we haven’t been about to get him to eat at all. Poor thing is so scared”  
“Come here buddy” I said as I sat down right in front of him and held my hand out. He sniffed my hand hesitantly before he slowly walked over to me and to my surprise he got right in my lap.  
“Oh wow. He hasn’t let anyone touch him since he’s been here” the lady informed me as she watched us interact.  
“What’s the adoption fee?”  
“Over 6 months is $25 right now” she informed me and that was all it took.  
I filled out all the paperwork and left the shelter with the small white dog who I was told was part poodle and part yorkie. Yorkiepoo. He looked like a little teddy bear, so I decided to call him teddy.  
I ran inside the dollar store and got all the essentials for him and then I went back to the apartment feeling a lot less alone now.

I played with Teddy and when he finally got comfortable and slept for what was probably the first time in days I went for my cell phone.  
“Hello?” Eric answered sounding worried.  
“Hey you” I replied, knowing that I sounded happier than I had in a long time.  
“Baby where the hell are you? I’ve tried to call you so many times but I keep getting a busy signal”  
“Are you sitting down? Because this is going to blow your mind but It’s also going to take awhile” I said with a laugh before I filled him in on everything.  
“There’s no way that you are sitting on the couch in your own apartment right now”  
“I swear on everything that I love, which is pretty much just you and my dog now I guess” I replied.  
“How am I not supposed to just move in with you then? Mom is going to flip out. Holy shit baby”  
“I mean you know you can. If you want to” I let him know, hoping that was going to happen.  
“My dorm is already paid for baby. The whole first year of everything has already been paid for with scholarships and the money my parents had put up for me. But that doesn’t mean I want be there every second that I’m not at school”  
“I can’t believe this all just happened” I said with a laugh as I looked around at the place.  
“I can’t wait to see it. And you of course. I think I’m more excited about the dog though”  
“8 days until graduation right? I would give anything to be there for that” I let him know, Even thought that was never part of the plan to begin with.  
“When is your last day?”  
“The 21st. the day before your graduation” I replied.  
“If I had the money to get you here then you know I would baby”  
“I know. You have to make the long ass drive soon to bring your stuff so you need to save your money” I agreed.  
“Yep. Me and mom are driving down with a u-haul the beginning of July and then I’ll ride back with her and get anything I missed and drive back in my car. And that second trip I’m coming straight to your place fyi”  
“You better come straight here on the first one to!” I informed him.  
“Well duh. You know what I meant. Without my mom” he said with a laugh.  
“Classes won’t start until the first week of August so we will have plenty of that one thing that we can’t seem to ever get”  
“Alone time?” he asked with a laugh.  
“That’s the one”

It took until the last day of school for Whitney’s parents to finally agree to let her come spend the night at my place. They were so angry about the way that my mom had handled things but were happy that I was out of the situation.  
Whitney used her hooked up to get a bag of weed and a bottle of vodka and we got frozen pizzas before she followed me to my apartment.  
“Pink couches huh?” she asked with a laugh when she walked in for the first time.  
Teddy took a instant dislike to her and she vowed to make him love her one way or another but everytime she tried to touch him he bit at her. As we started drinking it became a game to see how close she could get before he snapped at her and ran to me.  
After a while I signed onto my computer in the living room and Eric joined in on our fun.   
“I just remember something” Whitney said and jumped up and grabbed her bag and pulled out a ziplock bag with piercing needles and all kinds of jewelry.  
“I want you to pierce my belly button for me” she said like it was a completely normal request.  
“Are you out of your mind? I don’t know how to do that!”  
“It can’t be too hard Y/n. Shove the needle through and put the jewelry in. It’s not rocket science” she said as she laid on my couch and pulled her shirt up and Eric watched on intently.  
“I guess I’m doing this” I said and walked to stand over here as I pulled one of the needles out and didn’t even warn her before I shoved it through.  
“Oww god damn bitch!” she yelled out causing me and Eric both to laugh.  
I struggled to get the jewelry in and when I finally did she looked down at it and then up at me.  
“Your turn”  
“Oh hell no!” I yelled out as I backed away from her.  
“Yeah that’s a terrible idea” Eric chimed in from the screen.  
“Don’t be a wuss. Lay down and lift your shirt. It didn’t even hurt that bad”  
“If you fuck me up I’m beating your ass” I said as I laid down on the couch.  
“I can’t watch this” I heard Eric say seconds before I felt the needle go through my skin.  
“Mother fucker!” I yelled out as she slid the jewelry in.  
“All done. Now we match!”  
“Let me see it” Eric said and I walked over and stood on my tippy toes so he could see.  
“Those are for sure gonna get infected” he said as he shook his head at us.  
“Do my eyebrow now!” Whitney yelled out.  
“That’s it. I’m out. I love you baby but please don’t pierce anything else on your body” Eric said before he disappeared from the screen.

The days crept by slowly and finally it was the morning that Eric and his mom were heading down. She wasn’t very happy knowing that I had my own place and she knew it was inevitable that Eric would be here most of the time. But she also accepted the fact that he was an adult now and she couldn’t stop him. We had been together almost 3 years now so she had also come to terms with the fact that this was more than likely a permanent thing and if we weren’t having sex before then it was absolutely going to happen now.  
I knew all of this because Eric had filled me in on the embarrassing conversation they had about making sure we were being safe and not throwing our lives away because of a heat of the moment mistake and all that stuff parents are supposed to say.  
I had took the weekend off of work so that I could be home when they got here and I would be able to go to the dorms with them to set up all of Eric’s stuff. Even though most of it would more than likely get brought to my apartment as soon as he got back down here for good.  
I kept myself busy by making sure that my apartment was spotless and then I went to wal-mart and got an air mattress and extra sheets and extra blankets and pillows since they would be staying two nights with me before they headed back.  
They had left at 6am so I knew they wouldn’t be in until at least 9am the next day but I couldn’t stop myself from getting everything done. I was so excited to see him after 5 months apart that I was ready to scream.  
I was laying in bed trying to will myself to sleep when my cell phone rang and I saw that it was Eric calling from his.  
“10 more hours” he said, sounding exhausted.  
“I’m sorry baby. I know how bad that drive sucks”  
“It really hasn’t been that bad. We have been taking turns driving and the one not driving sleeps. It’s now my turn to sleep so I thought I would call and tell you goodnight and that I will see you hopefully soon after you wake up” he said.  
“I doubt I will sleep much”  
“You should try baby. I don’t want you to be all tired when I get there. You have to help us unload this U-haul” he said and I could hear him smiling.  
“I can’t wait to help”  
“Mom says hi and to get some sleep” he informed me.  
“I’ll see you in the morning baby, I love you” he said before we ended the call.  
I fell asleep with Teddy curled up by my feet, full of so much excitement.

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing and I grabbed it without opening my eyes.  
“Hello” I mumbled out.  
“I can’t believe you are still asleep. Come open the door because I’m not even sure we are at the right place” Eric said and I jumped out of bed and ran to the door and threw it open. Not even worried about the fact that all I had on was a tshirt and panties.  
“Eeeeeee” I squealed out as I threw my arms around him and he laughed at me.  
“I guess it’s safe to say that you slept huh? Go put on some pants before my mom sees you” he said into my ear and I retreated down the hall as they came inside my apartment.  
“This place is so cute Y/n” his mom said when I came out fully dressed and more put together than before.  
“Thank you! I’m still slowly buying stuff but it will get there eventually”  
“Can I meet my son now?” Eris asked causing his mom to choke on her own breath.  
“He’s talking about my dog!” I shot out before she had a heart attack in my living room floor.  
“He hides when anyone is here. Which Whitney is the only one who has been here so I can’t really blame him” I laughed out as I walked towards my room and pulled Teddy out from under the covers.  
“Now be nice okay, Your grandma wants to meet you and I don’t want you to make a bad first impression” I said to the dog as I came back into the living room.  
“Grandma oh my heart” his mom said as she reached out to pet his head and he pulled away and growled at her.  
“Teddy what did I just say?”  
“You would buy a unfriendly dog” Eric said as he shook his head and reached over and to both of our surprise the dog let him pet him. He even wagged his tail.  
“Well that’s a turn of events”  
“He knows who his daddy is” Eric said and took the dog from my arms and carried him over to the couch.  
“I hate to be the party pooped but I am exhausted. I would love to take a nap before we go unload the truck if that’s okay” Kathy said to the both of us and I showed her to the spare room where I had set up the air mattress for her.  
“Thank you honey” she said as she went inside and closed the door behind her.  
“I’m tired to honestly. I’m already dreading making that trip again” Eric said after he yawned and laid back on the couch with Teddy on his chest.  
“You can go lay down in my bed if you want to”  
“Not unless you are coming with me” he said as he smiled over at me.  
“Your mom is right across the hall Eric”  
“And there aren’t rules at your house. Plus, I said I’m tired. I’m not even thinking about that right now” he replied and held his fingers up and crossed them.  
“I’ll lay down with you”  
“I can be very convincing right?” he said with a laugh as he stood up and followed me into my room.  
He kicked his shoes off and laid down on my bed and I laid beside him trying to let him take a nap. But just like any other time we were in a bedroom alone together we went the opposite direction and ended up in a heated make out session.  
“I can’t wait to do more than this” he said into my ear as he pushed himself against me.  
“Me either”  
He continued to grind himself into me, hitting the same spot everytime and making me bury my face into his chest to silence myself.  
“Eric” I whispered out and he knew what that meant. He brought his lips to mine, silencing me with a kiss as I pushed myself back into him and grabbed at his shirt as I came apart underneath him and he let out a low moan into my mouth.  
“I guess I’m taking a shower instead of a nap” he said as he pushed himself off the bed, causing me to smile up at him.  
“I’m not sorry for that”  
“Good” he replied as he leaned down and kissed me and went to get his bag out of the car.  
After he was done in the shower he woke his mom up and we headed to the college to unload all of his stuff.  
We met his roommate and he seemed like a nice guy but Eric had his doubts.  
“He seems like a jock. Good thing I will be spending most of my time at your place” Eric said as he shot me a look and his mom dropped the screw driver she was using to put together his bookshelf.  
“Sorry mom” he said with a laugh and red cheeks before heading back down to get some more of his stuff.  
“I was thinking that it would be awfully nice if you could ride back with us so Eric wouldn’t have to make the trip back alone” his mom said when he left the room.  
“I wish I could. I don’t need to miss anymore more work though. Rent is due next week and then I’ll be broke again”  
“Hopefully it’s not too expensive” she said as she walked over to me with a worried look on her face that only a mother could have.  
“I’ve figured out how to budget pretty well I think”  
“I’m really proud of you for that Y/n. I’ve been so worried about you being here all alone” she let me   
Know.  
“It’s for sure been a struggle knowing that I don’t really have anywhere to go for help. But I’m okay. I   
Promise. My biggest concern is finding a cheap washer and dryer so that I can stop spending so much at   
The laudymat” I replied with a laugh.  
“I would love to help you if you will let me”  
“No you don’t have to do that! I’m saving a little out of every check and in a few months I’ll be able to  
Buy a set”  
“Well how about this. I’ll pay you to come back with us so that I know that Eric isn’t making the trip  
Alone. You would miss what? 4 or 5 days of work? That would be something like $200 right?” she  
Asked as she pulled her check book out of her purse.  
“I can’t let you do that”  
“I’m insisting on it. Do whatever you want with the extra” she said as he handed me a check for $300.  
“That’s almost my whole rent Kathy. I don’t want to take this”  
“But you will because you don’t want him making the drive alone any more than I do” she said as she  
Shoved the check my into my hands just as Eric walked in with another arm full.  
“What are you to up to?”  
“Y/n decided that she is coming back with us so that you don’t have to make the drive alone” his  
Mom said as she winked at me and went back to putting stuff away.  
“Really baby? That’s the best news ever” he said as he pulled me into a hug and I smiled at his mom over   
His shoulder.


	23. Here We Go

We spent the next little while getting all of Eric’s stuff put together and put away he made it very obvious that he was excited that I would be going back with them. You couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face and he had a bit more of a pep in his step as we finished up and headed to get some dinner.  
We ate inside of Arby’s and then went back to my house to get some rest.  
I called my work to beg to get my shifts covered and I got some attitude from my manager but in the end she agreed. I didn’t let Eric or his mom know about the situation because I didn’t want them to feel like anything was their fault if it went badly.  
Eric let his mom shower first and right when she closed the bathroom door, he laid his head over in my lap and I ran my fingers threw it until I heard him breathing heavily and I knew he had fell asleep. His mom came out and stopped at the end of the hallway and smiled at me.  
“I didn’t have the heart to wake him up. He’s so tired” I said as I lightly continued rubbing his head.  
“I’m exhausted myself. I think I will go ahead and call it an early night” she let me know.  
“I’m scared if I move then he will wake up”  
“He probably will honey. He is a light sleeper like me. And this is your house so I can’t tell you where anyone should sleep. Please just remember that I am here” she said timidly before she went into the spare room and closed the door.  
“Hey babe, Let’s go lay down” I said as I rub his head a little harder and he started to stir.  
“Mmmm” he let out and rolled over, wrapping his arms around my waist and snuggling his face into my stomach.  
“Come lay down with me” I said again and he looked up at me with sleepy eyes.  
“Will you rub my head some more?” he asked with his eyes half closed.  
“Of course I will’  
He stood up and then reached out and took my hand, pulling me with him. I made it to the bed before him and he went to close the door and then stopped.  
“You cool with me leaving this open? For moms sake”   
“Yeah babe that’s fine” I let him know as I smiled over at him.  
“I thought I heard you call me that when you woke me up”   
“It feels weird saying your name all the time when you have been calling me baby for years now” I said as he laid his head back down on my stomach and I let my hands go through his hair.  
“I like it. And what you are doing right now”  
“Get some sleep”  
“You do the same” he said and leaned up enough to kiss me before he was right back down moving his head around, signaling for me to keep rubbing it.  
I woke up the next morning with his arms wrapped around me and my face buried into his chest. He was still sound asleep as I slid out of his arms and went out of the room, closing the door behind me.  
“Good morning” his mom said from the couch.  
“Morning. I hope you slept good”  
“I actually did. I was nervous about the air mattress at first if I’m being honest but it is pretty comfortable” she let me know and then patted the spot beside her for me to come and sit.  
“I was sitting here alone thinking. You know, Eric doesn’t even know how to wash his own clothes. I’ve always just done it for him. The thought of him in a laundry mat trying to figure it out is as frightening as it is comical”  
“I don’t mind doing his clothes for him once I get my set. Which won’t be long thanks to you” I let her know.  
“That makes me feel a lot better Y/n”  
“I will do anything for him. Just like I know that he will do anything for me. I hate that you are so worried about him” I said.  
“I’ve been worried about you just the same. And I hope you know that I would do anything to help you to. I don’t want you to feel like you are alone in the world. I sincerely hope that your relationship with your parents gets better but either way you should know that you have us. You have been in Eric’s life for years now and I have a very strong feeling that won’t change any time soon, if ever” she said before she put her arms around me and pulled me into a motherly hug that I hadn’t even realized I needed.  
I tried to keep my emotions in check but I felt a tear run down my face and reached up to wipe away.  
“I didn’t meant to make you cry honey”  
“I sleep in late one time and you make my girlfriend cry. Good job mom” Eric said with a smile as he came to sit on the other side of me.  
“It’s not bad tears. I promise” I let them know as I looked back and forth between the 2 of them.  
“With all of that said. I wanted you to know that I talked to Wayne and we both feel like the right thing to do would be to get you a good washer and dryer. You graciously agreed to do Eric’s laundry before I ever even told you that so I know it’s the right thing to do” his mom continued.  
“I can’t let you do that. You have already helped me enough. I don’t want you to spend any more money on me”  
“I’m not really giving you a choice here honey. You can think of it as a late birthday present if you want. If we get a good set then they will last for years and maybe when you two get your own place together it will help get you started” her words caused Eric’s eyes to go into his hairline and the sight made me laugh.  
“Now where is somewhere around here that we can go and get them today. We can use the U-haul and get them hooked up before we leave tomorrow. It will make me feel a lot better”

After we were all dressed and ready for the day, we went to lowe’s and they ended up having a set on sale for a really good price. The guys at the store helped us load them up and then the started. The 3 of us trying to get them into my apartment and hooked up.  
We managed to get them inside and Eric was sitting in the floor behind the washer trying to hook it up and I was sitting on top of it with his mom standing near us when we heard a knock on the door.  
“Knock knock” I recognized my moms voice immediately.  
She hadn’t been by in several weeks so I was shocked that she would randomly show up.  
She walked right in and started talking like nothing had ever happened and I stayed on top of the washer watching Eric as Kathy stared at my mom blankly.  
“Oh you got a washer and dryer! That’s good that you finally saved up enough”  
“Actually Kathy and Wayne bought them for me” I said without looking her way and Eric looked up at me and smiled before he went back to work.  
“Oh, well that’s nice to” my mom said, and Kathy had enough.  
“Someone needed to help her and I’m glad we could. She is only 17 years old. She doesn’t have a clue how any of this is supposed to go but I’m happy to see that she is figuring it all out. At least Eric will be here to help her from now on to. She knows she can call me anytime she needs anything” We all heard the snark coming through her tone and it almost made me laugh but I kept it in.  
“I can see that you don’t agree with my decisions and that’s fine. I just stopped by to say hello since I knew you were in town. I hope you have a safe trip back. And Eric be careful on your way back here” my mom said and before she could make it out the door to leave I called back  
“We will”  
She hesitated for a second before she continued out and slammed the door.  
“I didn’t know you had it in you mom” Eric called out from behind the washer.  
“I’m angry. Would you just get out from back there and let me do” she said, causing us all to laugh.

We kept the same sleeping arrangement as the night before and Kathy didn’t seem to be bothered by it since we were leaving the door open. It was harder for me and Eric to keep our hands to ourselves since he wasn’t as tired as the night before but before we could even go there, he pulled me into him to where my back was against his chest and whispered into my ear.  
“A trip back to Colorado and then a trip here and we can do whatever we want to do”  
“I know what I want to do” I whispered back.  
“Damnit baby. I was trying to calm the shit down” he replied before he playfully bit down on my shoulder and a soft moan escaped my lips.  
“Oh yeah?” he asked as he pulled back.  
“I guess so” I said and started laughing loudly with him joining me.

Before the sun had come all the way out the next morning, we were on the road. Eric started the trip driving with me in the back seat and his mom up front. He drove for a few hours and then pulled over and swapped with him mom to where he was now in the passenger seat. As soon as he was settled in I leaned up and stuck my hand between the seat and the door and rubbed his arm and he responded by bringing his opposite hand around and holding onto mine. We stayed that way until it got uncomfortable for the both of us and we had to let go.  
After we stopped for lunch, I took over in the drivers seat and Kathy go into the back.  
“You can cut some music on if you want to” Kathy let me know and I turned the radio on and hit scan.  
I reached up and slapped the button when I recognized a song and I started singing along to it.  
“You have got to be kidding me” Eric said as he looked over at me in disappointment.  
I stuck my tongue out at him before I continued singing.  
“My loneliness is killing me, I must confess I still believe. When I’m not with you I lose my mind, give me a sign, hit me baby one more time”  
I belted it out dramatically making his mom laugh and clap as Eric shook his head at me.  
“I feel like I don’t even know you right now”  
“You can’t bash Britney man. The girl can sing and she has some moves” I said as I danced in my seat.  
“yeah she’s pretty cute”  
“Hey wait a minute. I didn’t say anything about cute” I said as I looked at him in disgust.  
He grinned at me with an evil looked and I reached over and hit him on the arm.  
“This is fun” his mom said from the backseat making all of us laugh together.

I ended up driving until it got dark outside and I started getting tired and his mom took over again.  
I got into the back seat and stretched out and pulled the blanket we had brought over me and fell into a deep sleep.  
I woke up when the car stopped and I heard Eric’s mom get out to pay for gas and before Eric could get out and pump it I sat up and looked around.  
“Where are we?”   
“We still have hours to go baby. It’s my turn to drive. You can go back to sleep. But can you try to stop moaning out my name. It’s getting a little uncomfortable with mom in the car. I do want to hear about that dream though” he said before he got out and he closed the door before I could respond.  
“I hope you are joking” I said as I opened the door and he grinned at me.  
“Ask mom. She’ll tell you”  
“Oh my god”  
“Baby I’m playing” he finally said, making me let out the air I was holding in.

When Kathy came back to the car, I offered her the backseat so she could get some rest and I sat up front with Eric.  
It turned out to be the middle of the night and everyone was starting to wear down except for me because I had just slept for at least 4 hours. After 2 hours of driving Eric started to yawn and I convinced him to pull over and let me drive so that he could sleep before the sun came up.  
He tried his best to stay awake with me but eventually gave into sleep and I continued on in silence as the two of them slept for the next few hours.  
Kathy started to stir first and sat up and looked at the clock.  
“We are making pretty good time”  
“Yeah we are over halfway there” I let her know.  
“We should find somewhere for breakfast”  
“Yeah I’m about to pop. I was trying to find a gas station” I said back and handed her the map as Eric started stretching in the seat next to me.  
“Why didn’t you wake me up. You have been driving for hours baby”  
“I don’t mind at all. But if we don’t find a bathroom then I’m going to have to pee on the side of the road” I said.  
“No don’t do that. There’s a town coming up at the next exit and we can eat and take a break somewhere” his mom said from the back and she gave me direction on where to turn off.  
After we had eaten and all used the bathroom we were back in the car with Kathy driving and Eric in the back seat this time.  
“I’m thinking we may stop halfway when we drive back. This is awful” he said causing his mom to shoot him a look in the rearview mirror and my heart to race.  
“Mom I can’t keep apologizing everytime I say something like that”  
“Yes you can” she replied as she shook her head at him.

We continued on and swapped out every few hours and I eventually ended up in the back seat asleep again. This time when I opened my eyes, the sun was coming in and the two in the front seemed to be in good moods so I knew we were close. I sat up and stretched making Eric look back at me.  
“30 more minutes baby”  
“Oh thank god” I groaned out as I continued stretching.  
When pulled into their driveway a little after 7am and I called dibs on Eric’s shower and he didn’t argue. He just went straight to bed.  
I wasn’t sure what to do when I got out so I laid down on the couch outside of his room and got some sleep myself.  
He woke me up a little after lunch time and we ate with his parents before we headed down to his room and packed up the small stuff that we still needed to take with us.  
“Hey we should take my posters down and hang them up at your place since I can’t hang them in the dorm”  
“I’m fine with that. Except for that one” I said as I pointed at the picture of a half naked Jenny Mcarthy on his wall.  
“Yeah I’ll take that one to the dorm” he said as he shot me a teasing smile and I threw one of his shirts at him.  
“If we leave now we could make it there by 5 tomorrow evening. Or we could do what I said and stop halfway at a hotel” he said as he pulled me out of the floor and into his arms.  
“You really want to get back in the car right now?”  
“Not really. But I do want to get back to your apartment so we can finally do what we have been trying to do for a long ass time now” he replied as he nuzzled my neck with his nose.  
“I’m ready whenever you are”  
“You keep throwing my shit into bags and I’ll go talk to mom” he said before he bolted out of the room and up the stairs.  
He came back a few minutes later with a smile on his face.  
“Help me take this stuff up and go tell mom bye. She is crying hysterically in her bedroom but she made me promise to make you come say bye before we go”  
We made several trips up and down the stairs, carrying his stuff up and filling his trunk and the backseat.  
When we were done Eric knocked on his moms door and she answered with puffy eyes and a box of tissues in her hand.  
“Mom I’m not dying. You can call me everyday and we will be back at Thanksgiving and Christmas” he let her know as he pulled her into a hug.  
She nodded her head as he let her go and she came over and hugged me tightly.  
“You two take care of each other. And never hesitate to call me” she said and then she let me go and we were off.  
Finally heading to where we can be together and not have to say goodbye ever again.


	24. I Think We're Alone Now

We had been on the road for over 4 hours with Eric driving and me in the passenger seat with my shoes off and feet propped up on his dash board as I sang along to Black Hole Sun at the top of my lungs.  
"You make me so happy, you know that right?" Eric said as he glanced over at me.  
"I think you are the worst" I replied and stuck my tongue out at him.  
"Watch it woman"  
"You know I was playing. I'm only happy when I'm with you" I said back and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.  
"We may have to swap soon. I'm so tired of driving"  
"I'll drive whenever you need me to" I let him know.  
"Do you want to stop for the night or keep going?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.  
"It would be smarter to save the money and just go to my place I think"  
"20 something more hours it is then" he replied, trying to hide his disappointment.  
"But then there are no more hours unless I'm at work or you are in class. Just think about that"  
"If I think about that then I'm going to have a very uncomfortable 20 something hours" he said back as his eyebrows went up and he glanced over at me.  
"Then you probably shouldn't think about it" I laughed back at him.  
"Now it's all I can think about baby. Damnit"

He drove for another hour before we stopped for gas and snacks and then I took over. We kept a steady conversation for a while and when it died down he reached over and held my hand as we road in comfortable silence for several more hours.  
When the sun went down he took over so that I could try to sleep but everytime I would doze off he couldn't stand it.  
"I looooove you" he almost sang out.  
"I love you to babe"  
And then a few minutes later,  
"Are you asleep baby?"  
"Not yet"  
He would let it get silent long enough for me to almost get there and he would start again.  
"I can't believe you wore shorts and I have to sit here and stare at your thighs for over a day without touching you"  
"You better not be staring at anything besides the road Eric. And just so you know, I'm not going to let you sleep either if you don't shut the hell up" I laughed out before I rolled to where I was facing the door but before I could get comfortable I felt his hand on my upper thigh. He left it laying there as I fell asleep and it was in the same spot when I woke up a little after midnight.  
"You want me to drive" I asked as I stretched and sat up.  
"Yeah, after you get awake for a minute"  
"I wish we were there already so I could make you cuddle me" I said as I pouted over at him.  
"Come here" he replied and lifted his arm out for me.  
I unbuckled my seat belt and leaned in next to him and put my head on his shoulder and we stayed like that for a few minutes before I leaned my head up and kissed his cheek and then playfully trailed kisses across his neck.  
"You stop that or I'm pulling this car over" he said with a laugh that quickly faded away when I started to let the kisses linger a little longer each time. I opened my mouth slightly and let my tongue go across his skin and he let out a hissing sound.  
"I'm sorry"   
"Don't stop now" he said and leaned his head over, signaling for me to continue.  
I brought my hand up and laid it on the other side of his neck as I continued kissing, licking, and sucking on the other side and he gripped onto the steering wheel tightly.  
"Baby" he almost whispered when I went to pulled away.  
"You are the one who told me not to stop"  
"And I still don't want you to" he replied and I leaned back into him and continued where I left off.  
He started to shift around in his seat and I knew what he had going on. I let my hand drop down and land right on top of the bulge in his pants and he immediately grabbed onto my wrist to stop me.  
"I can't drive while you do that. I will wreck this car and kill us both"   
"Fair enough" I replied as I pulled away and sat back in my seat.  
"Tell me something sad"  
"Whitney is taking care of teddy and he hates her so much" I let out without even thinking about it and we both died out laughing.  
"Poor puppy" he laughed out.  
"Did that work?"   
"I think the only thing that is going to work at this point is for me to be inside of you baby" he replied and the words set me on fire.  
I could feel my cheeks burning and I turned to look out the window to try to hide it.  
"So now we are both stuck in the car and horny as fuck" he said with a laugh, obviously seeing the way I reacted to his words.

Right before 2am we switched and I drove while he slept. He fell asleep with his face towards me and I couldn't help but glance over at him constantly. I was so in love with this guy that it was overwhelming. I started to think about everything that we had been through and where we are now and it made me emotional. I reached over and lightly ran my fingers through his hair as he slept away.

He slept a lot longer than I thought he would and I got so bored but I didn't dare wake him up. He had made this trip one more time than me in the last few days and I was exhausted so I knew he was even more so.  
He finally started to move around a little after 9am and I was so grateful for it because I needed to stretch and I was starving.  
"Baby you have been driving for over 7 hours. Pull over" he demanded as he sat up and looked around.  
"I was planning on it" I let him know and I pulled off into the first gas station I came to.  
We went in together and both grabbed some snacks and drinks and then he pumped our gas and got into the driver's seat.  
"8 more long ass hours"  
"I'm never making this drive again. If we can't fly then I'm not going" he said.  
"Agreed"  
"I can't wait to take a shower and get into my bed" I continued.  
"I can't wait to shower and get you in your bed"  
"Don't talk about it. Please" I said while shaking my head dramatically at him.  
"I hate to disappoint you, but you know realistically that it's probably not gonna be very good for you the first time. Right?"   
"No Eric I do not know that considering I've never done it before. How do you know so much about it?" I asked, not sure if I really wanted to know the answer to that.  
"Because I've heard the stories from my friends. Most of them had the worst first times. Nate said he only lasted 4 pumps and he was done. That chick never talked to him again" he said and then nervously looked over at me.  
"That's just the first time though, right?"   
"I don't know anymore than you do Y/n. But if you still speak to me afterwards then I'm sure as shit down for finding out" he said without looking at me.  
"Ha! That would be a story right there. You move across the map for me and I stop speaking to you after our first time having sex" I laughed out.  
"That's not funny. What if you are disappointed. You might decide that it wasn't worth the wait"   
"I love you Eric. If we have good sex then that is just a bonus. And I don't really see us not having good sex. At least eventually" I said and tried to hide my laugh.  
"You just couldn't leave that last part off could you?"  
"I'm sorry" I replied as I let the laugh escape causing him to crack to.

"You better haul ass. I'm pretty fast and I really want to take a damn shower to" he said as we turned onto the road my apartment was on.  
"But you have to put the car into park and cut it off before you can get out" I replied with my hand already on the door handle.  
"I'll still beat you" he said with a smile and as he pulled into my driveway and reached for the gear shift I jumped out of the car and ran to my door.  
I fumbled with the keys and by the time I got the door unlocked he was running up behind me. I threw the door open and dashed towards the bathroom with him right on my ass.  
I tried to close the door in his face but he pushed it open and walked me backwards into the bathroom.  
"No fair! I won. You have to get out" I demanded as he smiled down at me.  
"Nah" he replied as he pulled his shirt over his head and reached down to unbutton his pants.  
"Fine" I said as I tried to go around him but he put his arm out and blocked me.  
"Get in with me" he said as he looked at me nervously.  
"Are you serious? Won't that be a little weird"   
"We are going to be naked together after we shower anyways. This saves time and water" he said, trying to convince me but not seeming too sure about it himself.  
"If you really want me to then I will"  
"I do" he said back as his hands went back to his pants and he got them undone.  
I pulled my shirt over my head and pulled my shorts off leaving me in nothing but my bra and panties as he stood in front of me in nothing but his boxers.  
I reached behind the shower curtain and cut the water on and waited for it to get warm and when it did I just went for it. I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra and let it fall down my arms as Eric watched my every move.  
I pushed my panties down and stepped out of them and then stepped into the shower.  
"Come on"   
He hesitated for a second before he lost his boxers and finally joined me.  
We stood under the hot water looking back at each other for a while before he took a step towards me and pulled me into him.  
"This isn't so bad huh?" He said to me but I knew it was for him to.  
I turned around to where my back was against his chest and he brought his hand to rest on my lower stomach before it went up higher and he let it go over my chest. When he grazed my nipple I sucked in a breath and he responded by bringing his mouth to my neck and placing open mouthed kisses on the wet skin.  
I felt him growing hard against me and my body started to react to it. He let his other hand come up and start going over my lower stomach as he held me against him and when he reached my core I let out a loud moan and let my head fall back against his shoulder.  
He pushed a finger inside of me and I turned my head and he instantly brought his mouth to mine as he got me closer to my release.  
My hips started to move and he moaned out into my ear at the friction it was creating between us. He started to move his fingers faster inside of me and I felt my legs wanting to give. He felt it to and wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me up as he pushed me over the edge and my cries echoed off the shower walls.  
"Let's go to bed baby" he said into my ear as I regained my composure. I cut the water off and stepped out. I grabbed us both a towel and we both quickly dried off and I opened the door and went to my room and laid down on my bed, trying not to let my nerves get the best of me as I waited for him.  
He finally came into my room with the towel wrapped around his waist and he sat down beside where I was laying and laid a condom on the table beside my bed.  
"I feel so stupid for being nervous. We've waited on this for a long time"  
"I'm nervous to" I let him know and he looked down at me with a serious look.  
"We can take it slow"  
"Please" I said as I looked back at him.  
He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine and before long we were right back in it. He had come down on top of me and I opened my legs for him, with no barrier between us.   
I could feel him pressed against me and I reached down and started to stroke him slowly as our tongues worked in perfect unison together.  
He pulled away and looked down at me and then reached over to the table and grabbed the condom.  
"You okay baby?" He asked and I realized that I was holding my breath as I watched him put the condom on.  
I slowly nodded my head at him, not completely sure that I was in fact okay. But I did know that I wanted this.  
He came back down between my legs and I felt him against me and knew that there was no going back now. It was going to finally happen and out of all the emotions that I could be feeling at this moment, all I felt was the love I had for him.  
He lined himself up with me and very slowly pushed himself in. At first I wasn't sure what exactly I was feeling until he went a little deeper and I put my hands on his chest pushing him back.  
"Does it hurt?" He asked with a look of concern on his face.  
I nodded my head and moved my hands to lay on the back of his neck.  
"You want to stop?"  
I shook my head no and when he started to push in again I bit my lip to keep from crying out.  
He continued on as he looked down at me and I knew he just wanted to get this part over with but he was scared to hurt me. I wrapped my legs around his back and moved my hips up, letting him know that it was okay as he pushed in as deep as he could and then stopped.  
He brought his hand up to run through my hair and then placed a gentle kiss on my lips.  
"Are you okay?"   
"I'm okay Eric" I let him know with a shakey voice and he gave me a smile and brought his lips to my neck as he started to move again.  
The feeling isn't something that I could describe. And it may not have even been the feeling of what we were actually doing but more the emotions behind it in that moment. But when I felt it, it was like a switch had been flipped and I needed more. I wrapped my arms under his and let my hands go to his shoulders as I pulled him down closer to me and my hips started to match his rythym. When he grabbed onto my thigh and brought it up to his side, I knew I was done for. With no reason to hide my sounds anymore, I let them out freely and he was loving every second of hearing me in his ear.  
"Yeah?"   
"Yeah Eric. It's so good" I let him know and he started to go faster.  
I held onto his shoulders, digging my fingers in as he pushed me to another release but this one was very different. It wasn't rushed, it wasn't hidden, it was the perfect moment of our bodies finally coming together as one and when I came, I came hard.   
My body tensed up around him and he felt it as he hit his release to.  
He pulled back and looked down at me with hooded eyes before he kissed me and then rolled onto his side, pulling me with him and into his arms.  
"If I'm not mistaken, then I'm thinking that it was worth the wait" he said into my ear making me smile.  
"It was very much worth the wait"  
"So you are still speaking to me?" He asked.  
"As long as we can do that every chance we get then I will never stop speaking to you"  
"Deal" he said as he snuggled his face into my neck and held me close.


End file.
